“You’ve never been to Pizza East?” I asked.

“No. You see? You’re constantly expanding my horizons.” He reached for my face and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.

My mouth went dry. He really wanted this. I mean, I knew he did, he’d told me as much, but it hadn’t hit me until now how different our expectations were. My being here was all about hiding from my feelings for Luke, distracting myself from thoughts of him and Fiona. But Richard was all about me. I was being so unfair.

I looked away from him, watching the East End of London slip past. My stomach clenched at the prospect of our evening together.

“You know what you were saying the other night?” I looked out the window as I spoke.

“The other night? You mean about a second chance?”

A tightness formed across my forehead.

“I’m not pushing you,” he said.

Our feelings were clearly uneven, and I really didn’t want to lead him on. “I know. I just think . . . we make more sense as friends. I like hanging out with you, but not as anything more.”

“I said I’m not pushing you.” He moved to let someone pass and placed his hand on my waist as he stepped closer to me. Anyone watching us would assume we were a couple.

“I know. I just want to be clear. I don’t want to lead you on or—”

“You’re not leading me on. We’re hanging out. Seeing how things go.” This wasn’t a conversation to have on a bus, but he obviously hoped our relationship would progress, and it wasn’t fair to him letting him think so.

“Richard, I can’t—”

“Shhh.” He placed a finger on my lips as his eyes fixed on mine. “Let’s just have a nice evening. Yes?”

I nodded. What else could I do?

“So when do you hear about business school?” Clearly the subject about our friendship was off the table. For now.

“Next week, I expect.”

“You’ll get in, no problem.” He smiled.

“You think? I thought you wouldn’t approve.”

“What made you think that?”

I shrugged. I couldn’t remember if Richard had actually said something about the MBA being a bad idea, or whether it was just the stuff he’d said about me being a stay-at-home mom.

“It’s a lot of work. I had a mate who did it.”

“It is. I don’t think I’ll have much of a chance for a personal life if I get accepted, what with working and everything.”

When Richard didn’t respond straight away, I looked up to find him staring at me intently.

“You could go part-time. Just while you’re on the course.”

“Are you crazy? I can’t afford to go part-time.”

His chest rose and he spoke just louder than a whisper. “Well, you never know how things will go in the next couple of months. By the time you start, we may be . . . even better friends . . . and you could move in with me and save on rent. I’m not rushing you, but think about it. It might make it easier for you.”

Several times, I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out. I was literally speechless.

It was if the sky cracked open at that moment, and his invitation suddenly brought me totally clarity. Richard was sweet, kind and generous, and if I couldn’t fall for him, I’d rather be on my own than be with anyone other than Luke.

Anyone was a compromise I wasn’t prepared to make.

Luke

The restaurant was quieter than I’d expected for a Saturday. Probably because it was in the city. Somehow, the lack of noise put more pressure on me to speak.

“You look lovely,” I said to Fiona. She wore pink, which made her eyes look bluer than I’d noticed before.

“Thanks. You look nice too. Your face seems more . . . tan, if that’s possible in this weather.”

“Oh, it must be the fake stuff I’m using.” I grinned at her.

“Really?” She looked shocked.

I smiled. “No, I’m not really a fake tan kind of guy.”

She laughed. “Thank God.”

Though we’d been hanging out a lot in between times, running and grabbing lunch at work on some days, tonight was my fourth official date with Fiona. Up until this evening, we’d not really done anything other than kiss. I was happy with that, but when I dropped her off last weekend, she’d invited me in. I’d panicked and made up an excuse. I needed to be more prepared this time.

“Do you want to get another bottle of red?” I asked. We were at a casual Italian place near my flat, and we’d already drunk one bottle. Was she as nervous as I was? Presumably she had also considered sleeping together tonight.

“Sure. I guess we don’t have to drink it all.”

“They have the most incredible desserts here.” We’d finished our main courses, and I wasn’t exactly putting off the short walk back to either hers or mine—we lived just a few blocks from each other—but a little more time before we went anywhere wouldn’t be the worst thing. I was nervous. I wasn’t sure I wanted to sleep with her. I liked her, and she was attractive. Before Ashleigh, I would have been thinking about how to get her into bed, because I hadn’t known better. Now I did. I didn’t long to touch Fiona, be close to her.

As if on cue, the waiter arrived with the dessert menus, and we ordered wine and pudding. Coffee could come after that.

“This is my last drink until the race,” Fiona said.

“Really? You totally give it up.” Having work and triathlons in common meant that although I felt pressured to speak, there was never a lack of interesting conversation. Emma and I hadn’t often gone out one on one, but when we had, we’d ended up talking about her friends and what they were doing. It had filled the silence, but I wasn’t really interested. Fiona and I were a good fit in many ways, and much less complicated than Ashleigh and I.

“Yup, for a month before. It’s like total rehab really. But then I go crazy after the race and live on chocolate and alcohol so it undoes all the good I’ve done.”

“I thought that was a normal diet for girls.”

Fiona rolled her eyes at the same time the waiter placed our enormous chocolate desserts in front of us and topped off our wine. I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Point made, Mr. Daniels.”

“I’m not saying anything. But you are going to love this.” I pointed at my plate with my fork. “I can’t believe you’ve never tried this place. It’s so close to you.”

“I guess I don’t normally hang out around here. But it’s fun. Maybe we’ll come again.”

I smiled at her. It was fun.

As we left the restaurant, we headed in the direction of Fiona’s flat without any discussion.

I dug my hands into my pockets, and Fiona linked her arm through mine and leaned into me. I liked that she felt comfortable enough to do that. “Do you have a busy day tomorrow?” I asked. It was an inane question, but I didn’t like awkward silences.

“Hmmm, not really. I’ll do some training but nothing other than that. Do you have dinner with your sister?”

“Yeah. She’s pregnant, did I say?”

“You told me. You looking forward to being an uncle?”

I grinned. Better that than becoming a father. “I’m going to spoil the kid rotten.” My stomach rolled over as we began the walk down her street. Sex with someone new was always nerve-racking. Except it hadn’t been with Ashleigh, perhaps because we’d known each other for so long. That, and we’d been drunk the first time.

She released my arm and dug about in her bag to retrieve her keys. “You want to come in?”

“Sure.” I swallowed. This was it. I was going in. I followed her straight into the living room.

“Can I get you a coffee? Or more wine?” She smoothed her hand over my chest.

“Wine would be good, actually, if you have anything open.” I looked around and took in her apartment. “How long have you been here?” It looked like it was a rented place. The furniture and decoration didn’t reflect who she was, and there didn’t seem to be the details I was used to seeing in Haven’s and Ash’s apartments.