“Luc, I’m so sorry that you have had to live through such a hard time,” I said apologetically. I knew I couldn’t push him and I didn’t want to touch him and make him more nervous than he clearly was.

“I should get you home,” he smiled lightly.

“I don’t want to leave, not yet. I have another question?”

“What is it?”

“Is that why you created the women’s shelter, is that why you dedicate your time to that cause?” I asked, already knowing the answer.

“Yes,” he sighed. “I told you that my intentions were not altruistic. I do it to make myself feel better.”

“But you are giving all these women a second chance,” I said, like I am trying to prove him wrong. Why was I proving him wrong? Was he not the bad guy? I already knew what I felt inside.

“Vicky, you have to understand that I am running after my redemption, but I don’t know if I will ever feel true salvation.”

“That is tragic, Luc. Did your ex-wife ever forgive you, or did you ever discuss how you felt with her?” I asked needing to know. He had wronged her in so many ways. Was she able to forgive him?

“I saw my ex-wife after I had been shot. She did forgive me and her fiancé forgave me too. They are the ones that introduced me to Bryce. You haven’t met him yet, but you have a cousin named Brad, he is a good friend with my ex’s fiancé Dylan. It was Dylan who set me up here in New York.”

I sat up from the position I had been lying in. This was a lot of information to process after everything that had happened tonight with Scott. His ex and her boyfriend had forgiven him and yet he didn’t forgive himself; it’s tragic. I brought my knees up to my chest in a protective stance. I tried to mull things over in my mind. Since the moment we met, he had only been trying to help me and watch out for me. If he hadn’t shown up when he had to save me from Scott, then Scott would have probably raped me. Goose bumps sprung up along my arms and down my spine just thinking of it.

“What is it?” Luc asked, maybe noticing my shiver.

“If you would have found me, even five minutes later tonight, Scott would have probably forced himself on me again. You saved me from that, Luc. I think he has mental issues. He called me Vicky at first, but then he switched to calling me Jenny. I think this Jenny must have done a real number on him because it felt like he wanted to cause Jenny pain. I knew he was a sick guy before, but I think someone made him snap. Shit, Luc, I was so scared I became useless to myself. I didn’t fight him, I lay there and took what he was dishing out,” I admitted as my eyes swell with tears. I’m not the emotional type and here I was, an emotional mess, feeling, hurting.

“I am not a hero, Vicky. Don’t make me out to be something I’m not. I try to do good and stay out of trouble because my soul is dark. I’ve seen and done dark things and when I help someone, it’s the only thing that keeps me from drowning.”

“I want to keep you from drowning,” I admitted, looking at him with a serious expression.

His lips tugged up at the corners. “Thank you.” His smile was beautiful and light. This man needed to smile more, he was too damn intense all the time and now I understood why.

“I like your smile.” I tilted my head to the side and grinned at him.

“I like you,” he answered, cocking his head to the side and tugging his lip up at the corner.

“Can I stay here?” I asked, knowing my question would probably make him nervous.

“It’s one o’clock in the morning, can you sleep with this music? Last time the guests stayed until three a.m. I can sleep on the floor you can take the bed,” he said with a soft tone. He looked tired and defeated. I was disappointed he wouldn’t stay in the bed with me.

“Yes. I’m safe with you, Luc,” I confirmed. He shrugged his shoulders.

“Weren’t you listening to what I just told you, I’m dangerous. I’m haunted. I’m not what you need,” he said, shaking his head from side to side.

“How do you know what I need?” I asked feeling irritated with him. I hadn’t told him anything about myself and he didn’t press, but he didn’t know shit about my problems.

He lifted both hands in the air. “You’re right, I’m sorry. I won’t push, not tonight. I want to know what makes you look sad all the time. And you’re wrong, Vicky, I do know what you need. You need love. I just don’t know if I am capable of giving you what you need,” he sighed and let out a long breath. He stepped off the bed and walked over to the closet. A moment later he came out holding a sheet and a plush blanket that he began to spread out on the floor.

“You can sleep in bed with me, I’m not scared of you,” I said looking down at him.

“I know you aren’t scared, not much seems to scare you and that worries me. It’s me that is scared, Vicky. I would feel better on the floor,” he said, and I knew there was no point in arguing with him. He got under the sheet and lay with his hands on his abdomen.

I pulled the covers over me and smelled the fresh masculine scent of his sheets. They smelled of Luc and that made butterflies dance in my stomach. Had he moved into bed beside me, I probably would have wanted to jump his bones, needing to feel a connection with him. The truth was that I had been going to parties in search of sex. Needing to find a connection and drown out my loneliness. Tonight was different. Tonight I found an intense man, and we had a serious conversation. For some reason, that felt so much deeper than sex ever did.

“Luc,” I called out into the dark room.

“Yes,” he answered with a thick rasp in his voice.

“I had a normal childhood. We were a happy family. My older brother watched out for me in school and when we came home at the end of the day, my mama waited with open arms and a bright smile. I had a good life. I did well in school. My parents were hard workers. My mama was a waitress and my father drove a delivery truck. We were a simple and happy family. I dated my high school sweetheart, and when I went off to university, we stayed together because I was still in town. He was going to become a mechanic. We saw each other some evenings and weekends. He was my go-to person. Then I came home for Thanksgiving and everything was off. I sensed something was wrong but no one was talking. Finally, my mother admitted she had a tumor in her brain and that the doctors gave her three months to live. It was hard to accept. She was my best friend my whole life. I had always wanted a sister growing up and she was everything rolled up into a perfect package.

“A few days after I found out about her illness, I ran to Jamie and I caught him screwing another girl. That was probably my first blow, the first chink in my armor. He made me question myself and he made it hard to trust anyone. My mama began to deteriorate quickly, and I had no control over what was happening. There was nothing for me to do. I dropped out of the engineering program and spent every day by her side, watching the life slowly getting sucked from her. Only the progression wasn’t slow. It was like one minute she was smiling and the next it was her last smile. The same with words, one minute she could speak and the next she couldn’t. It was hard to accept. A part of me couldn’t accept it.

“My father began to drink and he became useless. My brother went back to university because it was important to my mother, and he didn’t want to disappoint her. I had many moments of despair with no one to lean on. I allowed myself to go into town and drown my own sorrows. That’s where I met Nessa. You will meet her; she is a great girl. My best friend, she introduced me to the sex clubs and they made a dark world feel a little brighter for brief moments. The weekend my mother died, I felt like I was suffocating. The doctors said three months to live, I never thought it would be sooner. I had spent my days holed up in the house taking care of my mother and watching my father drink himself into a stupor. I had to get away because I feared losing my sanity. That’s when I went home with Scott. I returned to Thunder Bay more damaged than when I had left. Scott broke me completely. I required medical attention after, and I went to the hospital to get stitched up. When I came home and realized my mama had passed, the darkness only grew deeper. My father bailed out on us. Jamie bailed out on me and Joe was stuck inside himself.