“Vicky,” Derek said, holding the door open for me. I stepped out of the SUV. “There will be refreshments on board,” he said smiling while passing me my bag.

“Thank you,” I replied.

“You take care of yourself, Vicky,” Derek said with a solemn smile. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

“Thank you, Derek. Bye.”

I climbed the steps and entered through the side door of the jet.

A blonde stewardess greeted me. “Hello, Miss Molino, I’m Kathy. I will be in charge of your in-flight service. Right this way, you can choose a seat or there is a bedroom at the back of the plane through the door on your left.” She motioned with a bright smile.

Before I had come to New York I had read a lot about Bryce on the Internet and I had seen the Tyson Towers and I knew how rich and powerful he was, but the jet somehow made the idea hit home.

“Thank you, Kathy, I will just take a seat up front,” I said getting into one of the chairs. The plane was beautiful with white leather seats and dark wood moldings.

“Sure, hon,” she replied with a smile. “You will want to buckle up, we are scheduled for take-off in five minutes and flight time is two hours.” I nodded my head and did up my seatbelt. Had the circumstances been different I may have enjoyed this adventure. Kathy walked off to the front of the plane, and I stared out the window as the plane reversed, and then picked up speed as we took off. I tried to close my eyes and get some rest but I was overtaken by anguish. Everything kept slipping through my fingers all at once: my father dying, Luc falling into some dark hole. I tried to make sense of what could possibly cause him to drink. He was right; alcohol did bad things to him. He managed to scare me, especially when he whipped the glass against the wall. Nonetheless, I had a feeling in the pit of my stomach that he had complete control. That he made himself out to be a monster to push me away. I just didn’t understand, why now? After all that we shared and had been through, why was he pushing me away? His rejection had stung right through my heart.

***

Two hours later I was exiting the jet on a small tarmac in Thunder Bay. I didn’t even know that this little airport existed. It wasn’t meant to handle the commercial airlines, only local plane flyers. Bryce was right when he said he could get me home much faster. As I got off the plane, a cab was waiting for me. Bryce really thought of everything. Luc was right to say that he was a kind man. The cab driver took me to the home I grew up in. The home that had been filled with happy memories once, a home that was now empty and lifeless. As I walked through the front door, I felt overcome with loneliness and dread. I pictured my mother walking down the stairs at any moment and my father reading the paper at the kitchen table. The ghosts of them haunted me. As I turned to enter the kitchen, I heard the door creak open behind me, I startled and turned my head.

My eyes went wide and my heart warmed. “Joe, you’re here,” I said taking fast strides toward him before wrapping my arms around his neck.

“Yeah, Vick, I just can’t believe it,” he said shaking his head. His eyes were red. I could tell he’d been crying. Papa was not my biological father, but I loved him all the same even with all of his mistakes.

“I know Joe, I knew he was headed down a bad road but I didn’t expect things to unravel so quickly.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean, Marie called me a couple weeks ago…”

“You answered the phone for Marie?” I asked, sounding wounded.

“I knew something was wrong if she was calling. I knew you were just calling to talk everyday…” he answered hesitantly. He winced before I even had a chance to rebut.

“You saw my daily phone calls and you didn’t have the courtesy to say a small hello. 'Hey, Vicky, I’m alive no worries'…something, Joe, dammit.” My voice had raised about ten octaves and I felt my blood boiling. My older brother had always been responsible. I knew he felt just as broken as I did when Mama died. I knew she left him a letter too, but I didn’t know what it said. I sure as hell wasn’t going to tell him that she wasn’t his biological mother because she treated him like a son in every way. I would never taint that. I didn’t know what he knew exactly, but I was pissed that he left without staying in touch. That was straight out selfish, he was the only older brother I knew. This wasn’t the time to attack him but we would need to talk soon.

“What did Marie tell you?”

“She said that Hal stopped by a week ago and Papa was looking thin. He thought he might have stopped eating…” he frowned.

“And no one thought to call or inform me of this? I just get the damn call. 'Hi Vicky but I’m sorry your father’s dead.' Maybe I would have come home sooner. Maybe I could have done something….” I threw my hands up in the air with frustration; my heart was beating a mile a minute. Joe was too damn infuriating.

“Marie asked me if she should call you, but what for Vicky? We both know he didn’t want to live anymore, or else he would have taken us up on our offers for help. He wanted to die and none of us thought it would be healthy for you to sit around and watch that happen. Especially since your reaction to Mama’s death had been drastic, and Marie said that you were just getting your life back together in New York,” he trailed off sounding defeated. Maybe this was a no win situation.

“What?” I winced. “I never told Marie about my life in New York,” I muttered angrily.

“She said you had your reasons for being there and to leave you be,” Joe argued back. My brother was a Molino through and through, tough and stubborn. “The truth was that I was on my way back here anyway. After spending a little too much time on the beach in Mexico, I felt the need to come home. I was staying in Toronto a few days when Marie contacted me to say that Papa died. I’m cursing myself because I should have come home sooner to say goodbye, but it was so hard to say goodbye…instead, I hung around Toronto because I was too damned scared to come home and see more death,” he said, shaking his head back and forth as tears filled his eyes. He was a big guy but a cuddly teddy bear at heart. I walked back over to console him. Clearly I was being too hard on him. He’s just as messed up as me. Now was not the time to tell him about Mama’s letter either. I was beginning to think I might never tell him. My older brother was the only family I had left and I didn’t want to push him away.

“Come, Joe, I’ll make you some tea,” I said, patting his back and walking into the kitchen. As I entered the kitchen I noticed the clean floors and counter tops. I’m sure Papa hadn’t kept it this way. Especially since he was in such bad shape. Joe took a seat at the kitchen table and I hit the kettle. I leaned on the counter waiting for the water to boil and watched Joe with his head between his hands. This was a fucking mess.

“What were you doing in Mexico?” I asked, trying to make conversation despite the dreary mood.

“I was trying to clear my head, run away, I don’t know, Vicky, but whatever I was doing wasn’t working and it began to weigh on me hard.”

“How was New York?” he asked, throwing me off. I couldn’t believe Marie told him I was in New York. I hoped she hadn’t told him about Mama’s secret.

“New York was good,” I answered solemnly.

“Isn’t New York like really expensive? Everything was dirt cheap in Mexico so I managed…”

“Yeah, you managed for a year and a half Joe. It wasn’t cool how you took off and you could have at least replied to my text messages. Shit! After everything I had been through, I didn’t expect for you to up and leave and forget I existed,” I bit out and I knew I was being too harsh again he had just lost his father.

“Shit, Vick, I’m sorry I was really messed up, I needed to get my shit together and I had a hard time facing you. You always have everything under control and I didn’t. I needed to find my balance,” he explained regretfully.