I feel my phone buzz from underneath me, but I ignore it. There is no one else on earth I want to talk to right now.

While I press my body farther into his, in the back of my mind, I remember we are in public. Just as quickly, I push that thought out of my head. Todd’s kisses are deep, telling me he feels exactly the same way. Then I feel the buzz again and again.

Todd finally pulls back after the fifth or sixth buzz—I lost track.

“Um, our blanket seems to be vibrating,” he says with a smile. “I kind of like it.” His smile turns mischievous, and I can’t help laughing as I shake my head. “But maybe you should check. It seems like whoever it is really wants to talk to you.”

I reluctantly pull away, my anger at Sid already building. I mean, she knows we’re together, so why does she keep texting?

When I pull my phone out, I’m shocked at the name staring back at me. It’s Casey. I haven’t really talked to him since he came to see me in the hospital. Nothing was said to officially end whatever we were doing. It didn’t need to be. It was understood. I still care about him, but he is nothing more than a friend to me. However, I know Todd doesn’t see it that way.

Todd lies back on the blanket and runs his fingers through his hair as he checks his own phone. “What does Sid want now?” he asks, assuming the same thing I did.

I promised myself to always be completely honest with him, and as much as I dread his reaction, there can be no more secrets.

“Actually, it’s not Sid; it’s Casey.” Just rip off the band-aid.

I feel his body tense beside me, yet on the outside, he’s his usual calm, controlled self. If I didn’t know better, I would say he was unfazed, but I can feel his tension, his anger. I see the deeper blue his eyes turn instantly at the mention of that name. The hate is emanating off him, which is so unlike Todd.

“Oh, yeah?” he remarks, his voice not giving anything away. “What does he want?”

“I don’t know,” I say, locking my phone and putting it away without reading the texts. I lean back in to kiss him. “Now, where were we?”

He turns his head toward me without returning my smile. “You should see what he wants.”

“It doesn’t matter,” I say, leaning in closer. “I. Don’t. Care.” I complete each word with a kiss and make each one deeper than the one before it.

Todd only half-heartedly returns my kisses. I know he’s angry, but he’s not saying anything. Instead, he’s stiff and suddenly uninterested, no matter how I attempt to undo the wall that one name just put between us.

I run my hand down his ridiculously firm chest. The different sports camps this summer really defined what was already a perfect set of abs. I can see the contours of definition through his T-shirt as it rests on his stomach. Feeling them through this barrier of thin cotton isn’t enough, though. I need to run my hand across his actual skin, so I slip my hand under his shirt in hopes that this gesture will remove the wall. Plus, touching him is so divine.

“Stop, Ash.” He pushes my hand away, breaking the moment and my smile.

That is a first; he’s never pushed me away, not physically at least, even when we were broken up.

His eyes finally meet mine, and I can see the anger in them. It’s written all over his face; he’s no longer trying to conceal it.

“I hate that you still talk to him.”

I pull my hand completely away and meet his gaze, unsure how to respond, so there is only silence as I study his body language.

“Todd, there is nothing between us. We’re just friends. I love you. It will always be you for me, and he knows that.” I move my hand back toward his chest, making another attempt to wipe away his concern.

His hard look doesn’t soften at all. He pulls his hand away before mine touches his. “Ash, I know how you feel, but he doesn’t feel the same way. He wants more. He is always going to want more. I told you before that I don’t trust him. He’s bad news.”

“He’s not. He’s a good guy. I think you might actually be friends if you got to know him.” As the words come out, I can’t believe my automatic reflex is to stick up for Casey, and by the stunned look on his face, Todd is just as surprised.

“We were friends,” he says matter-of-factly, no longer trying to hide his hatred.

“I know, but that was different.”

“How? I can’t believe you are sticking up for him.” His stunned look is now pure anger.

“I’m not. It’s just—”

“Just what? I don’t trust him. You know what happened with Dylan, and I know he has a different agenda with you, Ash. He doesn’t want to just be friends. I know it. He knows it. Why don’t you know it?”

Todd is now shouting, and the few people scattered across the field all start to turn in our direction as he stands up to leave. His eyes haven’t left mine, but they are cold and distant.

“Let’s go. I need to eat before practice.” He grabs the blanket as soon as I stand up, his motion so quick it almost knocks me off balance, but he’s already halfway to the car.

By the time I slide into his passenger seat, he has the car running. As we drive in complete silence, I can see his knuckles turning white from his grip on the steering wheel.

I can’t stand how angry he is for no reason. It’s just a stupid text that I haven’t even read yet. I know he hates Casey, but this is ridiculous. Maybe I shouldn’t have stuck up for him, but I just need Todd to understand I don’t care about Casey, and I hate that he doesn’t trust me enough to know nothing will ever happen.

As we pull into my driveway, we still haven’t said one word to each other. I don’t want to leave like this. He has his last summer football practice tonight, and since it’s Sunday and the night before school starts, the entire team is going out for one last team “bonding” dinner, so I won’t get to talk to him until tomorrow morning at school.

“Can we please talk?”

Todd shakes his head and turns to look out of the driver’s side window. “I can’t believe you stuck up for him.” His voice is filled with anger.

“I know. I didn’t mean to. It’s just—it just came out. I just want—no, I need you to know that I am friends with Casey, but I love you. I mean, even when we were broken up, I didn’t choose him, so why do you think I would now?” My anger begins to fill my voice, too.

There is more silence.

“Look at me,” I say sternly. The more I absorb how angry he is, the angrier it makes me. He needs to trust me, or this is never going to work.

He finally turns to me, and the gorgeous aqua color of his eyes takes my breath away. If I didn’t already know he was upset, I would know now just by their color. Still, I need him to talk to me.

An apology washes over his face as he strokes my cheek. “I’m sorry, Ash. It’s just … I can’t control myself anymore when it comes to him. He’s made it very clear what he wants.” He pulls his hand away and continues, “We used to be friends and he”—Todd looks down and shakes his head—“he blamed me,” he says in a low voice. I know what happened with Dylan, but not from Todd. First Blythe and then Casey, but never Todd.

I pull his face toward mine. “I know. He did a shitty thing.”

Todd shakes his head again. “No. I know you think you know, but you really don’t. I didn’t want to tell you the whole story, because I hate talking about it, re-living it, but I have to. I want you to know. I need you to understand my side.”

His gaze shifts to the front window, and as he stares out, I can see how conflicted he is. “I know I told you about Dylan before, and I’m sure you figured out she was the older girl from Ridgewood last summer. She was my first. I’m not sure why I didn’t want to tell you before; it just seemed strange to say.” He looks back at me with a small smile.

“I get it.” I return his smile.

“Anyway, I really did care about her, and I still do, I guess. I mean, she’ll always hold a special place for me. I know I said this before, but it wasn’t the same with her, Ash. I cared about her a lot, but I’m not sure I ever loved her. She was crazy. Older. Daring. She pushed me to do things I would never have done on my own. She was wild, and it was contagious. We did a lot of things I would never have done.”