“Did you talk to her, see her?”

“Yeah, I drove up to see her. We’re cool. She told me it had nothing to do with me, but she was pissed I never called her back.” He laughs for the first time, breaking the tension that was filling the car.

Then his eyes finally meet mine again, and the smile is back in them. “She was like, ‘Oh, so is this how I get you to return my calls.’ I honestly think all the calls were just a distraction for her, and the whole thing was to prove a point to her parents”—he takes a deep breath—“but I never wanted to talk about it. It felt private and like it wasn’t something to talk about. Ryan doesn’t even know the whole story. I mean, Brian knows most of it because he saw the fight. They both knew I got suspended for the last week of work, and they knew what happened with Dylan because it was all over the club. But they were cool, asking if I wanted to talk about it, and when I said no, it ended there. Only my parents know about the football thing.”

He looks down at my hand as his fingers run over mine. “I still blame myself a little, though, deep down. I should have called her back. Maybe just talking to someone would have stopped her.”

“You were right before; this is not your fault.” I pull his face toward mine, needing him to see how serious I am about this and how grateful I am that he is opening up to me. “Todd, it is not your fault. She chose to take those pills. She told you herself. She stuck up for you.”

His eyes travel back down to my hand as his fingers move up to the bracelet he gave me on my birthday. “I know,” he whispers. “Thanks for listening, Ash.” He squeezes his eyes shut. “I just need you to understand why I can’t stand him. And then, when I got that picture of you both and I knew you were with him every day at the pool, all of my hate for him came back.” His eyes meet mine again. “I trust you with everything, but I don’t trust him.” His look changes from filled with love to harsh and hard. “Now do you see why?”

I take a deep breath, which may be the first time I have actually breathed since we started talking. This is a tough one. I do fully understand, yet at the same time, I know Casey, and I’m sure he wasn’t thinking straight when he found out about his sister. They only really have each other, so he must have lost it, and it was easy to blame Todd.

Suddenly, there is a loud fist slamming on my window.

“What the hell?”

“What’s up, jackass?” Todd says as he rolls down his window, looking past me.

I turn to see my brother Ryan standing there with a wide grin on his face. “You scared the shit out of me, jerk!”

“Ash bug, language.” He makes the tsk-tsk motion with his finger. “What are you two doing in here? You’ve been out here forever, and we’re going to be late for practice.” He stops almost mid-thought. “Better yet, don’t tell me. I don’t want to know,” he says as he notices our hands intertwined. “Come on, Todd; we’ve got a fancy dinner date.” Ryan gives me a smirk. “He’s mine tonight, Ash. Come on, Toddy; we don’t want to be late for our date.”

“You truly are an idiot.” Todd says with a laugh. “You’ve been hanging out with Brian too much,” he shouts out the window to Ryan who is walking backward to his car.

“You were mine first,” Ryan shouts back before he points to me. “I saw him first, Ash.”

“I’ll see you at practice,” Todd yells back. “I just need a minute. Cover for me with Coach if I’m late.”

“I’m not running laps for your ass, so hurry it up,” Ryan shouts back as he throws his gym bag in his car.

“I love you, too,” Todd calls to him as he rolls the window back up. Then his eyes lock with mine. “I guess I’ve gotta go.” He shrugs.

“Yeah, it seems that way.” I smile. “Thanks for telling me everything. I’m sorry about Casey and Dylan and the whole thing. I know that had to be really hard.”

“It wasn’t easy”—he smiles—“but it’s done, and she’s fine, and it all worked out. I just don’t think I can ever forgive him for blaming me when we were friends. I mean, we talked about Dylan before it all happened, and he agreed I shouldn’t call her. Then, for him to turn on me like that …” He shakes his head. “It’s over with us. I’ll never trust him again, especially with you.”

His hand caresses my jaw as his thumb runs circles over my cheek. Then he leans in and kisses me, really kisses me, and the feeling of his soft lips on mine reminds me just how right we are for each other.

He finally forces himself to pull back. “Okay, I better go, or your brother is going to kill me.”

“Love you. Have a good practice,” I say, opening the car door to leave.

As I watch him drive away, I’m so happy he finally told me everything. No more secrets. I have no idea what to do about Casey, though. I get Todd’s side, but I also understand Casey’s. He freaked out and needed someone to blame. I wish Todd could understand Casey’s side, too. I wish Casey would just apologize, but I know he never will. They are both too proud, although of what, I have no idea.

Casey! I never checked his text.

Hey, Ash. George said he wants to keep the summer swim team together for fall/winter swim. Want to do it?

I can’t believe it. My first thought is that this is amazing. Then my second thought is Todd.

I close my eyes and mentally scan through how I think the conversation will go. I’m sure he will be totally cool with me hanging out with Casey every afternoon while he is at football practice. Shaking my head, I look back down at my phone to see there is an entire chain of texts from Casey.

Come on, Ash.

Do it.

You know you love to swim.

And you get to spend every afternoon with me.

“Yeah, that’s the problem,” I say out loud to my phone.

Great, now I’m talking to myself.

Ashley Taylor.

Say something.

Actually text something.

What am I going to do?

Chapter 2: First Day

ASHLEY

It’s the very first day of my sophomore year. I am no longer a freshman, and it feels great! If I’m excited, I know Ryan must be ecstatic because it’s the first day of his senior year.

“You know, you’re very lucky that I’m your brother,” he says with a smirk as we pull into the senior parking lot.

“Oh, yeah?” I ask with an eye roll. I know exactly what he means. The senior parking lot is a big deal at our school. It’s seniors only, of course. The only exception is if you ride to school with a senior, which thanks to my parents’ timing of my birth, I do.

“Yup. I’m your free pass to the elite.”

“It’s just a parking lot, Ry. Relax.” It is pretty cool, but I would never admit that to him.

If you try to park in the SL—senior lot—and you’re not a senior, the seniors will egg your car. All seniors get a special front window sticker, and if you don’t have one, you can kiss your car’s paint job good-bye.

As soon as my foot touches the pavement, I hear Brian’s voice. “What? I’m sorry. You must be lost. This is the senior parking lot. I get how your tiny, sophomore brain might get confused since they both start with S.”

“Shut up, Brian.” Todd elbows him as he comes up to meet me.

“Well, at least you’re not a freshman anymore,” Brian says with some sincerity.

“Well, at least you’re not an asshole anymore. Oh, wait ... never mind,” I say back.

“She’s got you there.” Todd smiles as he wraps his arms around my waist. “Hi, Ash.” He leans down and kisses my cheek, his warm breath feeling wonderful on my neck.

We’re interrupted by Mark Conner’s bright red pickup truck pulling into the lot, which distracts Brian from belittling me for a minute.