“You would never hurt me.” Stepping forward, I tuck my head under his chin and slide my arms around his waist. “There’s always another way.”

He starts to embrace me, but resists. “You don’t understand. I’ve tasted your blood. Your blood is part of what made me. I want you so badly, I can’t promise what I won’t do.”

A shiver of desire moves through me. “I do understand. I’ve been where you are. Let me help you.”

He gives in, and for a few golden moments he holds me.

“My humanity kept you safe from me.” My voice is consoling, soothing. “I knew I couldn’t live without you, even in that state.”

“That’s the point.” He pulls back. Large hands cup my cheeks, and he forces me to look at him. “No humanity is left in me. Melissa, I would steal your life with no remorse. I would be the most selfish monster you’ve ever encountered.”

“Sloan was the most selfish monster I’ve ever encountered,” I argue. “I would give you everything. You only have to ask.”

He’s completely apart from me now, taking several steps into the woods. His head drops, and his hands go into his long, wavy locks. Pushing them back, he straightens, his broad shoulders, his beautiful back to me.

“Stuart wants to see if…” He exhales deeply. “If I can’t find a way to handle this, to control it, I’m ending it.”

“NO!” Ice floods my veins, and I rush forward, clutching his arms, my cheek against his back. “Come back to me. I’ll wait for you.”

“I won’t take your life.”

They’re his final words before he steps out of my grasp and disappears into the darkness.

I try to follow him, but he’s too fast, moving at vampire speed. The woods are empty, and I’m alone. Still I push forward, needing to feel him, dying at the thought he might end his life. Doesn’t he understand? By doing so, he would end mine as well.

“Derek!” My voice breaks, a desperate cry. I’m too weak, too blind now to chase him into the dark swamp. It wouldn’t matter anyway. He’s gone.

Everything in me collapses. I’m on my knees when Elaine appears at my side. Wordless, as we don’t need words, she lifts me by the shoulders.

“Come inside now.” She’s holding me, keeping me close. “I’ve got you.”

Otherwise, she knows I’d run after him into the night, to my death.

Derek

The depth of my desire for Melissa is overwhelming. Her blood hums in her veins, making my heart race at the sight of her. I want to change her. I want her to be mine for immortality. I’ve never wanted anything as much as I want her.

Walking away from her tonight was excruciating. It was like ripping my insides out and leaving them on the ground at her feet. Nothing in my human life compared to the pain of leaving her there.

I wanted more—one last night, but I knew as I held her, smelled her, allowed her gorgeous essence to flood my senses, I’d never make it through a night with her. I’ve tasted her blood. I’ve risen to the heights of ecstasy with her. She would be a vampire before dawn.

Worse, she wouldn’t fight me. She wanted the thunder of our lovemaking as much as I did. Oh, god. How can I live without my soul?

Running is the only thing that saves us both. I won’t rob her of her life. I can’t hold myself back from the thing I crave above all. There’s always another way. Her words echo in my head. If only they can be true. I have to find a way to make them true.

Back in my suite in the Royal Sonesta, I can barely tolerate the scent of shifter blood in my tub. No amount of bleach can cover it. I don’t know how I’m going to stand working with my brothers. Yet they’re still sworn to help me find a way through this madness.

Melissa’s scent in my pillows tempers it. Her hybrid scent intoxicates me. I hold the sheets to my nose and inhale deeply, wishing with everything in me I didn’t have to leave her. Just as I’m heading out, I remember one decadent pleasure and step back to my nightstand. A scrap of black lace is quickly slipped in my coat pocket.

I’m in Princeton by morning. The red-eye doesn’t bother me now—it’s actually preferable. I make my way through baggage claim and into my Acura as the sun cracks the tips of the horizon. I’ll sleep the day away and see what I can get accomplished tonight.

Sloan mentioned Lilith, a woman who met him at the fountains and seduced him. A woman with red hair, for whom glamour wouldn’t have been necessary. It sets me wondering who she could be. None of our records mention her, which leads me to believe she’s might somehow be a key.

Night falls around me. Hunger burns in my throat. Sitting behind my desk, my collar is unbuttoned, and my hair falls around my eyes in damp waves. The pain is so strong, I have to find some way to feed or something bad will happen. Our office manager Nikki cut her hand on a broken light bulb before leaving just now, and I had to close the door so I wouldn’t attack her. I’m glad she and I have never had a close relationship. Still, she can tell something is off with me now.

Standing, I pace to my wall of windows and look out on the courtyard. I don’t know what to do. I don’t have time to research criminals in the area. A hunger pain hits me with twisting force. I lean my head against the glass and release a low groan as I wait for it to pass.

Blinking up, the night is plain as day. Just at the highway, where the thin forest begins, a large doe stands frozen. A light flickers in my mind, and I see a possible way to fend off my hunger. My jaw drops open as I look at her dumb cow-eyes. I don’t even register slipping the coat off my shoulders. I turn, heading for the door without thought.

The stairs are behind me at vampire speed, and I’m pushing through the door. The beast runs, but I’m faster than she can move. Her large body is in my arms, my fangs sunk deep into her neck before she even slows her sprint. We continue for several paces, her blood pulsing fast and strong into me. I’m sated before I’ve had a chance to process what exactly I’m doing.

Unlatching, I fall to the ground on my feet. The doe goes on a bit further before she drops, as if muscle memory drove her on. I know what it feels like to pierce Melissa. What happened just then is not the same, but my hunger is gone. I’m strong. The meaning of this swirls in my brain as I make my way through the woods.

Stuart is waiting when I get back to my office. It’s only then I notice my bare feet.

“Finding alternatives so soon?” He grins at me. He’s on the other side of my desk holding an open manila folder. “You have more control over this than you give yourself credit for.”

“Nothing in my studies suggested vampires could live successfully on livestock.”

“It makes sense if you consider your chiropteran relatives.”

“Bats.” Shaking my head, I drop into a black leather chair. “Yes, the vampire bat lives off the blood of cows and livestock.”

“Fish gotta swim.” He’s a bit too merry about this development. It solves nothing as far as I’m concerned. “It also helps with the smell. Not that I’m sure you care.”

That statement does catch my attention. “You’re right.” Lifting my head, taking a deep breath, I nod. “Tolerable.”

“Another piece in the puzzle.”

“What were you able to learn about this woman?”

“Not a damn thing. Whoever she is, she’s deep undercover.”

Sitting back in the chair, I focus on my last conversation with Sloan. “She had a reason to come out. When she seduced him at the reflecting pool, it was for a purpose.”

“But what?”

No vampire fitting her description appears in any of my journals or notes. No allusions to her, no references. Why would she come out specifically for Sloan?

“She wanted something. Seducing Sloan makes her significant.”

“Then we’ll keep digging.”