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advantages. Why, we can set you in the way of rollin in a coach before weve done with you, and who knows, years hence, when youre older than you be now, who knows but what you might not succeed to the headship. If anything was to happen to the great chief wots to prevent you from taken his place, eh? Youre smart, aint you? Theres no gainsayin that, now, is there, Missus Waggetts?
No, indeed, replied that lady.
Then take my tip, the straight tip of an old gentleman o fortune, and you join us.
Whatll I have to do and what is it Im a-joinin, though? asked the boy.
The great scheme of wool-runnin, said Mr. Mipps.
Ah, sighed Jerry, I thought as much. And what am I to do, always supposin that Im willin to join?
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Weve a vacancy in the horsemena man short, you see, though weve got the horse. Its Mr. Rashs horse, but weve turned out the schoolmaster and kept his horse. He werent one of us, you see, so we found that we didnt want him no more.
Youve killed him? cried the hangman, starting up.
I didnt say that, retorted the sexton. I merely remarked that we didnt want him no more. And now just give me your attention. Ive every reason to believe, and so has the great chief that I work for, that you are gettin very thick with that swap of a Kings captain. Well, now, dont go suddenly a-givin him the cold shoulder, do you see? You cant drop a friend all at once like a hot potato without excitin the gossip and suspicion of folk; so remember what I says and keep civil to him. But its my opinion that after to-night youll know which side you be on, for once get the thrill of the demon ride and youll not
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want to get dismissed. Besides, gettin dismissed by our chief aint exactly
what you might term a pleasant form of bein entertained.
And what do I do, Mister Sexton?
Youll get told all in good time.
But what do the demon riders do? persisted the boy.
Frighten folk from the Marsh when the ponies are trottin under the wool packs.
And where do the wool packs come from?
From nearly every farm on the Marsh.
And they put it all in packs and send em down to the coast?
Thats the ticket, my lad. Pack em all up on ponies and bring back coffins full of spirit from France.
Coffins full of spirit from France? repeated the amazed boy.
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Yes, thats why Im a coffin-maker. What would you expect to see inside a nailed-up coffin, eh?
Why, a dead un, said the boy.
Exactly; and as folk aint particular fond of amusin themselves with a sight of dead uns they lets my coffins alone, do you see, and the spirit is treated with every respect and is allowed to go on its way very snug and all knocked up most particular solid.
And the head of it alls the squire, is it?
I never said so, replied the sexton quickly; but the less you think and say on that subject the better, for those who know the identity of the great chief would sooner have their eyes put out than betray him; so dont you hamper your young career with thinkin about it. All youve got to do is to obey.
And what do I get out of it?
Gold and the time of your life.
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And when do I start?
To-night.
To-night? faltered Jerk much relieved, for he had thought of his promise to help the captain, and was greatly thankful that the dates had not clashed.
At half-past twelve at Old Tree Cottage; but dont go to the coffin-shop side. Tap at the back kitchen window.
And half-past twelve, you say?
Thats the time, answered Mipps, holding out his hands and seizing Jerks in both his. And I can tell at a glance that your a-goin to be a credit to the undertakin.
And a minute afterward he was gone and Jerk was sent by Mrs. Waggetts into the bar to polish up the tankards.
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Chapter 24
The Coffin-Maker Has a Visitor
About noon of the same day Captain Collyer, in walking through the village, found himself passing Old Tree Cottage, the lowlying residence of Sexton Mipps, with its coffin shop facing the street and its small farmhouse behind. Attracted by a great noise of hammering, the captain stepped up to the window and glanced in. Rows of coffins lined the walls and coffin planks were everywhere propped up against shelves containing everything imaginable. In the centre of the shop stood two black trestle-stools, and upon these funeral relics reposed a large coffin with no lid. Inside this gloomy thing sat Mr.
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Mipps. He was sitting straight up and hammering lustily upon the coffin sides, singing away with much spirit to the rhythm:
Oh hammer, hammer, hammer, And damn her, damn her, damn her, For I dont fear my wife now shes dead.
The captain, amused at the crude words, pushed open the casement and leaned into the room. Whether the sexton saw him or not the captain did not know, but the song changed immediately to a song of the sea:
Theres no swab like the captain, Theres no swab like the captain, Of all the swabs Ive ever seen, With a diddle diddle diddle diddle diddle diddle dee, No swab like the captain.
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A very appropriate song, Master Sexton, laughed the captain.
Mipps turned round and surveyed the intruder.
Why, knock me up solid if it aint the good captain! The gold of the high noon to you, sir, though there aint much gold in the sky to-day. I take it as a very friendly piece of impertinence that you should come and look me up so unexpected. Had I knowed of your arrival Id have had these grizzly relics stowed away, for some folk has a distinct dislike to lookin at these last dwellin houses.
You are used to em, I suppose, by now? said the captain.
Oh, love you, yes, I dont mind em. Some undertakers has fearful superstitions about coffins. Some wont get in em to measure em. Lord! I always does. I lie down inside em and pops the lid on the top to see if its airtight.
Awkward if the lid was to stick.
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You may well say that, cos once it did. But it werent so much awkward as peaceful, for after Id pushed and struggled for a power o time, I just resigned myself to my fate, feelin thankful that at any rate I had had the privilege of bein my own undertaker. I shall never forget my feelins when my last bit of breath came up and went out. It was just the sort o feelin you gets when you drowns, only more so. Cos when you drowns you sees all the bad actions of your life a-troopin before you, but gettin buried alive is different, cos you sees all the good actions wot youve done. Mind you, things Id clean forgot. Little acts of kindness wot I thought could never have been recorded anywhere. Why, they all walked out, and I seemed to be greatly comforted, cos, you see, I thought as how I was quite in the runnin for heaven. In fact I was so pleased with my past self that I fairly kicked with delight, and that was the means of bringin me back to earth, cos over went these trestles, and the jar I got knocked the stuck lid off. No, Ive been near gone these many times,