“I want you to listen to me. There is more behind your desire for me, and I want to prove it. I have a proposition for you.”

What.

The.

Fuck?

I was practically throwing myself at him, and he couldn’t seem to let this go. Jesus! Next time I’ll just ask him to remove his tampon before he comes around me.

“I’m sure you do.” I tried to step away from him but he held me firmly. “Let’s hear it.”

“I want you to come out to New York with me.” He tilted his head to the side and raised his eyebrows, silently telling me to shut up and let him finish. “Come out there and see that it’s just lights and a show. The women that are out there … they aren’t real, Harper. I haven’t been with a single woman since you, and I plan on keeping it that way. But I also want you to see that there is more between us than you’re allowing yourself to feel.”

I rolled my eyes. “Give me a break, Ky.”

“Here’s the part I know you’ll love. I want you to try to not come on to me.”

My mouth parted in shock before I burst out laughing. “You think I can’t control myself around you? Is that it? Oh boy, you really are a delusional chick.”

“Did you just call me a chick?” I could see the same Kyler from back in high school, cocking his head to the side, scrunching his nose up, and looking like a dumb blonde.

“Yeah, I did. You’re being such a girl about this.” What I didn’t say was that he was also being smart. I didn’t like losing a challenge, and he knew it. “If you think you can drag me out to New York just to prove to me that there is more here than just sexual chemistry, then fine. But don’t cry about it when you see that I’m right.”

A self-assured look came over his face.

“Good. I’m leaving to go back first thing in the morning. You fly out later that day, and I’ll have everything taken care of.” He leaned down and kissed my cheek. The contact sent sparks through my body. He brought his lips to the shell of my ear and with a feather light touch, he whispered, “Just remember I caught you when you fell, Harper.”

He pulled away and turned to walk out the door. “What do you mean, ‘when I fell?’”

Kyler turned around. “When you finally realize that you’ve fallen for me … remember that I caught you, and I’ll keep hold of you … and I’ll keep holding on for as long as you’ll let me.”

Then he walked out and shut the door behind him.

“Harper, can you take Allie for a second?” Em asked.

She handed Allie over to me and I cradled her close to my body. “I’ll always hold my Allie girl.” I smiled and cooed down at her.

Em started unpacking her hospital bag and settling in. They’d just arrived home from the hospital, but I had gotten there before them to make sure the house was cleaned up. Em didn’t need anything else to worry about. Finn had left to get Chinese take-out, and I couldn’t take my eyes off of Allie. She was such a beautiful baby. Her little cherub cheeks and her short eyelashes were sweet to look at as she slept in my arms. I was glad she was sleeping. I hadn’t been around babies that much, and even though I loved children, newborns were so … needy, that they made me nervous.

“So tell me what happened with Kyler when he went to see you?” Em asked, with her back to me.

I raised my eyebrows but she didn’t see. “Figures you would know he’d stopped by. What did you two do, scheme and plan it all out?”

I wasn’t exactly mad at her for asking him questions since I was the one that had kept quiet about the split, but knowing that she had talked about me to him rubbed me the wrong way.

As if she could read my mind she said, “It wasn’t like I was talking behind your back, Harper. But I was shocked when he told me that he had nothing to do with you two not being together. I just don’t understand why you wouldn’t tell me about it?”

“It wasn’t a big deal, that’s why.”

She stopped stacking diapers on her changing table and turned to look at me. “That’s just it … it is a big deal. I’m your best friend and we tell each other everything.” She paused. “I want to know, just please help me understand. Ky and you are a good fit, why would you push him away?”

I thought back to the hotel room. After Ky had left my room I think I stood staring at the door for a solid hour. I couldn’t believe that I had allowed the asshat to talk me into going to New York for a week. I’d been fully prepared to hunt him down, beat him to bloody pulp, and drive his body to the mountains for ravenous bears to take care of. But when he knocked on my door and I heard his voice, all of that went out the window. My body craved him. And yet part of me had felt a tinge of sadness. I wanted to run into his arms, and yet I couldn’t.

The fact that I even had that tendency just made me want to be even more brutal the next time I saw him. Yep, I decided that I would make him eat his words. My body might well betray me and beg for his touch, but everything else he’d said was crap. We didn’t go any deeper than sex. I didn’t do all of that lovey-dovey relationship bullshit. Why would I? I’d seen one too many relationships around me crumble because the couple either fell out of love, or the guy decided the grass was greener. Well fuck greener. I’d rather take a shit on that greener side and be the leaver than the leavee.

“Listen, Em, I don’t want to be negative. Especially not right after you’ve just had this beautiful little girl,” I said, looking down and smiling at Allie’s little face. “Can we talk about something else? Anything else … please?”

“No,” she said firmly.

I sighed deeply beginning to lose my patience. “Fine, you want to hash this out, then let’s hash it out. How long have you known me?”

She looked confused, but answered, “Just over fifteen years, why?”

“When have I ever done the relationship thing?”

“You never have, until Kyler.”

I let out an aggravated laugh. “That’s right. Ky was the first guy I ever tried the relationship thing with, and even that was a shot in the dark for me. Have you ever wondered why that is, Em?”

“Of course I have, and every time I ask you about it, you change the subject or completely ignore me. So let’s try this again, why?”

Not wanting to wake Allie, I laid her down in her pink bassinet and led Em out of the room. I was feeling exasperated and I didn’t want to yell. When we were safely in the hallway I turned and faced her.

“They all leave, Em, all of them. I know you’re going to tell me to look at you and Finn, but you are an exception to the rule. Do you know how many men I saw walk in and out of mine and my mom’s lives?” I threw my hands up in the air. Just talking about this made me feel the need to pace. I shook my head and looked to her. “Too many to count.”

“But why would that keep you from attempting a real relationship with someone? Obviously that doesn’t apply to everyone. And yes, I am going to tell you to look at Finn and me. We lost each other and found our way back. Not every man leaves, Harper.”

I took a deep breath before I spoke again. “Open your eyes, Em. Over ninety percent of the people we went to high school with got married, but now they’re all divorced. I’d be willing to bet that if you asked the women, they’d tell you that they weren’t the ones that wanted it to end. Men can’t commit. And you know what? Neither will I.”

Em was looking at me with pity in her eyes. She felt sorry for me. I didn’t want her to feel sorry for me.

“Harper, sweetie, all of those people made mistakes at some point in their relationship and they either didn’t want to put in the work to fix the issues, or it was damaged beyond repair. That doesn’t have to be you, though.”

It was coming. I knew it was. I was just waiting for it.