“You have something special with Ky. He’s your … your person. How is it that you don’t see that?” She reached up and put her hand on my arm. “You need to give your relationship with him a chance, Harper. I have a feeling your reluctance to commit goes deeper than just seeing your mom go through men. Does any of this have to do with your dad?”

Bingo! She knew me well enough to see past my bullshit and to ask the right questions. But how do I explain to her that my issues all root back to my dad?

“Well … yeah, it does.” I shrugged my shoulders. “My dad left when I was just a kid and he was always in and out of my life. I don’t want that for myself, or any future kids I may have. All I ever wanted was my dad to be there for me, and he wasn’t. He was more interested in his buddies and whatever drug he was using to get high.”

Em reached out and touched my cheek. “God, Harper, I knew your dad had used drugs, but I didn’t know he’d kept using them.”

She was being so tender-hearted, and her touch felt like a mother’s touch. Even though she is my best friend, this isn’t what I wanted from her. I didn’t want pity.

“Yeah well, such is the life of a user. He was never around when I needed him, and my mom was so messed up after she kicked him out that none of her relationships lasted. I think my dad was her one great love, and the pathetic fools that came after him never stood a chance.”

“All of that was messed up, yes, but that doesn’t mean that has to be your life. You could be missing out on your forever.”

I smiled at her, and her need for a happily ever after. “Even when I start to get close to someone, Em, I’ll always be waiting for that other shoe to drop. I can’t help it.”

“Ky won’t do that to you. He’s faithful, and loyal. That man only has eyes for you, and I think you should tell him all of this. How else can he help you work through it if he doesn’t know why you won’t commit?”

I felt a large lump forming in my throat. Kyler deserved the truth but I was afraid that my issues would be too much for him to handle, and he would prefer to be with someone who didn’t come with the baggage I did.

“He convinced me to go to New York for the week, so he can prove to me that we have more than just a sexual relationship. What if he’s right, Em?” I leaned my back against the wall and put my head in my hands.

She smiled at me and said, “He is right, Harper. You just need to let him in. I think you going and spending time with him will be a good thing. But will you be able to let your guard down?”

“How do you drop walls that have been there your whole life?”

Em took a step towards me and wrapped her arms around my shoulders, bringing me in for a hug.

“It’s Ky, Harper. I have a feeling he will know what to do.”

I pulled back slightly and wiped at a stray tear.

“We’ll see, won’t we? Now can we go back in and watch that sweet little girl sleep? It’ll probably be your last chance before she wakes up and figures out she has a set of pipes to use.”

Em hooked her arm through mine and we went back in to Allie’s room to baby gaze.

I flew into LaGuardia airport and made my way to the hotel. When I arrived, I went to the check-in counter and requested that they upgrade me from a one-bedroom to a two-bedroom suite. Harper would expect me to either put her in her own hotel room, or she might even think that we would be sharing a bed in my room. Well, that wasn’t going to happen. I meant what I said when I told her that I knew we had something that went beyond just sex. I also wasn’t naïve enough to know that she wouldn’t tempt me with her hot little body, and I needed to keep some space between us and my bedroom. That girl was a sex kitten, and I knew I would struggle to keep my dick to myself.

After unpacking my suitcase, I walked down the hallway to where I knew my fellow band mates would be more than likely playing Xbox and screwing around. Sure enough, the metal bolt was sticking out to keep the door from completely shutting, so I let myself in.

“Hey, pretty boy, how was your trip?” Anders asked.

Anders was the lead singer for Down Glory Road, or DGR as we were known. He was your typical rocker—tatted up, with dark spiky, messy hair, and dressed like an emo. He was actually a pretty cool guy, and a wicked songwriter. He sat in the corner, his guitar propped up on his knee and a piece of paper on the glass table in front of him. He liked to call me ‘pretty boy’ because I was the total opposite of him. In high school we probably wouldn’t have run in the same crowds, but in the band we got along great. In fact all of us were a pretty tight knit group.

“It was … well, it was good, I guess. Finn’s little girl, Allie, was born and they are all doing well.” Anders nodded and started to strum a tune. The band knew Finn back when we were writing songs for them so they were just as happy to hear about Allie’s arrival as I was. “But there’s something I need to talk to you all about,” I directed to all the guys.

“Oh you’re going down, dickhead.” Sonny yelled.

“Keep dreaming, you’ve never beaten me.” Levi grinned.

Both were dueling it out over Call of Duty. Lincoln sat on the couch next to Sonny, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. All three of them were completely immersed in the game. I didn’t think any of them had heard me. I was still trying to figure out how I was going to tell them about Harper, but I guess just coming out with it was the best way.

Levi laughed deeply, tossing the remote down on the coffee table, while a very pissed off looking Sonny looked ready to pummel him.

“You cheated.”

A smug looking Levi said, “No I didn’t, you just suck at this game.”

“Yes, you did. You can’t camp out and wait for me to come to you. That’s not how war works, asshole.” Sonny’s face was getting red.

“How would you know? You ever been to war? I was just playing the game, man. If you’re going to be a dick about it, maybe you shouldn’t play anymore.”

Sonny growled and got up and went into the kitchen to grab a beer. He clapped my hand and said “hey” on his way by.

Levi and Lincoln both got up from the couch and walked over to me. Levi was who I would call the ‘smart guy’ of the group, and he had a very carefree attitude toward life. Girls fell all over themselves for a chance with him. He was a tall, blonde haired, surfer-looking kid. I didn’t really know why Anders called me ‘pretty boy’ when Levi fit the bill.

Lincoln on the other hand was what I would call … ‘broody.’ He had caramel colored eyes, and was always in the gym. I’d never seen a dude more cut than Linc. I didn’t know his whole story, but I knew he doesn’t smile much, was a genius on the drums, and had been with the band since before they were signed to the record label.

“‘Sup, boys?” I said to the two of them.

“Back already, huh?” Levi asked.

“Yeah, and I was just telling Anders that I have something to talk to you boys about.” I rubbed the back of my neck.

“Sounds serious.” Sonny came up behind me and handed me a beer.

All joking aside, Sonny was the one I had become closest to. He was a few inches shorter than me, but he was a jokester and loved sports. His role in the band was the same as mine—back-up vocals and bass guitar. Girls called his smile the ‘Fifty-Watt Smile’ and he used it to melt panties in every city we visited. Sonny was rarely seen without a girl after a show.

“It kind of is,” I responded. “I’m having someone come out to stay with me this week. Someone I’ve known since high school.

“A chick?” Anders said from by the table.

“Is she hot?” Levi asked.

I felt my blood start to simmer and I spoke through my teeth. “Yes, she’s a chick, and yes, she’s hot. She’s the hottest fucking girl I’ve ever seen. And if I catch any of you fuckers trying to hook up with her, I’ll rearrange your balls. Harper’s mine.”