Whoa!

I draw back hastily, and press my hand to my shocked belly. This is far worse than any debt collector. By far worse. The bell rings again and holds. The sound is loud and insistent. It’s not going to go away. I turn my head and look at myself in the mirror on the wall. My hair is a spiky rat’s nest. I pull my fingers viciously through the unruly mess, but it does not improve. The bell goes again. Oh, fuck it! Whatever. I don’t care, anyway. I take a deep breath, rearrange my face into one of impatient exasperation and fling open the door.

Cor… Look at that. Tight black T-shirt packed hard with muscles, he fills the corridor like the Incredible Hulk, only he is all blond, and he makes little kitty clench tight even on a Sunday. Damn this man to hell. How can anyone look this good at this time of the morning?

He removes his finger coolly off my doorbell and smiles a devastatingly attractive smile, before letting his gaze, all wicked and sexy, start roving down my body. It’s like having melted chocolate poured all over me. I want to lick myself. Keep it together now.

‘What do you want?’ I demand aggressively.

‘To fuck you senseless.’

I don’t succeed in stifling the gasp that rises into my mouth. The cheek of the man is astounding. Last night he brazenly introduces me to his girlfriend, and this morning he stands on my doorstep wanting a legover! I feel a fine rage in my veins.

‘Fuck off, you cheating skunk,’ would, as Ali down the sweet shop would say, be giving him too much face. ‘Piss off, I don’t want you to fuck me senseless,’ would be a lie. So: I nod, and move quickly to slam the door in his lazily smiling face. With lightning speed he lays his palm firmly against the wood and resolutely pushes his way in. I am engulfed by the smell of his freshly showered body. Probably washing off her smell, I think sourly. I don’t do the undignified thing and attempt to fight against such a male show of strength. I will decimate him with pithy wit instead.

Inside, he looks as out of place as a rhino in a China shop.

‘The polite thing to do would be to offer me some tea,’ he says, one blond eyebrow arching.

I cross my arms over my chest. ‘I’m actually not feeling very polite at the moment.’

He flashes a pearly white grin: wolfish in the extreme. The guy is a walking sex bomb. ‘That’s just grand,’ he says. ‘We can be impolite together.’

Pithy wit deserts me. ‘Don’t make me punch you in the face.’

‘You were the best lay I ever had.’

My eyes widen. The surge of pleasure I experience irritates me. I pretend to laugh dryly. ‘Is that supposed to be some sort of compliment?’

‘Yeah, and a goddamn fine one too.’

Before we go any further, let me first tell you that this man is good in bed. And I mean he’s really, really good. Like out of this world good. He butterflyed my legs and went to work on my girly bits with the precise dedication of a Swiss watchmaker until I nearly fainted with pleasure. And believe me, I’m the expert in muff diving, since I have been for most of my life a lesbian.

‘Well, you were the worst lay I ever had,’ I lie.

Unoffended, he laughs merrily. ‘Time to make amends, then.’

‘Don’t you fucking dare come near me,’ I warn. I realize instantly that there is not enough threat and too much desperation in my voice.

His eyes glint, dark and dirty. They make me horribly uneasy. I’m not in charge here. We stare at each other and the rush of sexual heat that sweeps over my body makes me feel oddly dizzy. The memory of his touch still burns in my bones. Unable to speak I stare foolishly at him. The truth is I’m pissed off with this guy for not calling after he promised to, for making me sleep with my phone for nearly a month, for confusing the hell out of my sexuality, and for having a girlfriend who is the exact opposite of me, but as the seconds pass, I am not sure anymore if I am more pissed off with him or with myself for being so pathetic.

The problem is that my pulse is racing and I can’t think past the aching throb between my legs. I take slow breaths as my body, the hyperaware Judas, remembers and replays the sensation of all the hard planes, the raw silk of his skin, and the absolute perfection of that one night we shared.

I blink. Big mistake.

He advances, his lips twitching with amusement.

I step backwards, purely instinctive, and he takes another step, and so do I, but in the opposite direction. A warm flush spreads over my skin. All kinds of thoughts are running through my brain. Uppermost: of course he’s going to get what he came for. I can already feel his hand on my hips, and the lure of a seriously explosive orgasm. He got me the last time through the same fearlessness of consequences he is exhibiting now. No fear of rejection. Such naked confidence can be mind-numbingly seductive.

He turned my no into a maybe and my maybe into a yes.

And afterwards, when the curiosity and desire had been aroused inside me, he delivered big. I mean BIG. I told myself that I had gone with him because I loved that he did not have a prejudged idea of beauty. He found my spider tattoos beautiful! But the truth was/is, he intrigues me like no other. My body is already craving it. It’s only sex, Billie, I tell myself.

I stop retreating when I feel the hard edge of the table against my buttocks. He takes his next step silently. With his hands around my neck he tilts my face upwards and swoops down on my mouth. Sweet mother, Mary. So bad, and so hot. My will is slipping away. What will? It’s been a long time. A long time. Bloody hell. He tastes so fuckin’ good I want to eat him. I get lost in the raving desire that comes in waves from his mouth into mine.

For a few more pulse-ripping seconds his lips bruise mine, a clash of teeth and lips and tongues. It is brutal, arousing, and totally feral. And then I tear my mouth off. The insides of my mouth are still stinging. He is strong, I’ll give him that. Very fucking strong. And that arrogant tilt to his chin. Like he should be in a vampire movie. Like he’s never heard the word no.

‘So you don’t think I’m cute?’

‘If you like psychos.’

He grins and lifts me up by the waist as if I am a doll and deposits me on the table. My legs dangle off the edge. With both his hands he rips open my nightshirt. The tearing sound is deliciously erotic. Nobody has done this to me before. Underneath I am butt naked. His eyes drop to my breasts. With a slow smile he cups them in his hands.

‘I wasn’t wrong last night: you’ve had them done,’ he growls and pushes his tongue into my mouth. The man’s an animal and I love it.

His tongue drives in as I suck it enthusiastically. So different from a woman’s tongue. So demanding. So muscular. Suddenly his mouth leaves mine, and a complaining mewl escapes me. Watching me like a hawk he bends down to take a nipple in his mouth and sucks at it cruelly. I close my eyes and moan. His hands move lower. He spreads his fingers into the thatch of light brown curls.

‘A hairy girl is hard to come by these days,’ he murmurs. ‘You’re one in a million, Billie.’

‘Fuck you.’

He runs his fingers along the slit. I am embarrassingly soaking wet for him. One finger dips inside.

‘Yes,’ I gasp. Even that one word sounds incoherent. I want more.

He plunders my mouth. Slowly the finger inside me becomes two and then three. The stretch is delicious, but I want more. I need more. And holy fucking shit, I know where there is smoking more. I reach for his belt.

‘You’re throbbing for release,’ he whispers huskily as he pulls away from me and splays my legs open. He watches me, his heavy-lidded eyes roaming my thrown back throat, my excited nipples, my legs spread so wide he has a full view of my pussy dripping and swollen for him.

He tears open the condom foil and then unbuttons the top button of his bulging jeans. The zip comes down and he takes out his cock. This is the thing about us lesbians. We’re used to big toys, but this boy’s toy—it struts right out at a right angle to his body. In its own way it is an aggressive angry thing with large veins. I’m not really sure if I consider it attractive. Certainly it is not pretty the way a pussy is, but there is something wild about it. Something animalistic and caveman-like.