As much as it hurts to not have Jax in my life anymore, I know that him pushing me away is the best thing that he could have ever done for me. He’s not my savior, and I need to stop thinking that one day we might end up together.

“Order ready for Addie,” a server calls out, jerking me out of my thoughts.

I jump up from the bench and snag two salads for the lunch I’m surprising Kohen with, since he’s working all night. He didn’t take anything with him and he usually forgets to eat unless someone forces him to sit down. Lately I’ve become that person. I jog out the door and hail down a cab.

When I reach the hospital, a passing nurse gives me directions on where to find him. I head into another corridor and come across Kohen facing a young guy in scrubs.

“I know I’m sorry, it won’t happen again,” the man says, with exasperation.

“Sorry. That’s all you have to say? I could have you fired for this!” Kohen shouts.

“I’m not going to make excuses, there are none. This won’t happen again I promise.” The guy’s eyes bulge out of his head as if he’s afraid. He doesn’t know Kohen as well as I do because he wouldn’t hurt anyone.

An older doctor steps out of a room and notices the situation unfolding. It takes him about a nanosecond to guess what’s going on.

“It’s an easily corrected mistake that happens with interns, Dr. Daniels. He won’t let this slip by again and just to make sure it sticks, he’s going to be doing grunt work for the next three months.”

The older guys pats Kohen on the shoulder and walks away, leaving Kohen and the intern alone. When the other doctor is out of sight, Kohen grabs the intern by his throat and slams him into the wall. When Kohen has the intern’s attention, he releases his throat but doesn’t back away. Instead Kohen whispers into his ear. The intern can only nod because it’s clear from where I’m standing that he’s too terrified to speak.

I’m speechless. I know that I need to stop this from happening, but I can’t make my legs move. I’m transfixed as Kohen tells him something unimaginable. I watch in horror as the blood slowly drains out of the intern’s face. I can’t even pretend to know what he’s telling him. I release my death-like grip on the bag. The salads crash to the floor. Suddenly my legs move on their own accord.

Out of nowhere, Kohen backs away. I have no idea if I’ve yelled his name or if he heard my too-loud feet. The guy sinks to the floor. Immediately I squat down beside him, ignoring Kohen. I have no idea how much time has passed, but it feels like hours, not minutes. I can’t believe Kohen reacted this way. I desperately want to know what he said that was so terrifying.

“Are you okay?” I ask like an idiot. Obviously he’s not.

“Yes . . . Fine,” the intern wheezes as he glares at Kohen.

Brave man. I help him rise and when he’s finally able to stand on his own, I take a small step back, but keep myself in between him and Kohen. I don’t know this guy, but I need to protect him. There’s no telling what Kohen’s capable of. As I turn to face Kohen, the intern mumbles something under his breath that I don’t hear. Kohen does.

In the next second, Kohen shoves me out of the way and slams the intern into the wall. I land onto the hard ceramic floor. I feel as if all air has left me. I can’t believe I’m dating someone like Wyatt, Jax’s abusive father. I swallow the bile rising.

It isn’t until Kohen comes up behind me that I realize the intern is nowhere to be seen. I jump to my feet and put a good distance between us.

“Don’t touch me,” I warn.

I’m so mad at myself for not seeing the abusive man standing in front of me. My body hums with the anger coursing through my body. I’m furious with Kohen. I stalk away from him, leaving our lunch on the floor, but he stops me by wrapping his hands around my forearm.

“Ads, wait. I’m sorry, let me explain, please.”

I don’t know if it’s the fact that I just watched him slam his intern into the wall, that he touched when I told him not to, or that he called me Ads, but for whatever reason I slap his face as hard as I can. Each one is reason enough in my book. Without another word, I flee.

The entire ride back to my apartment is a blur of every moment I’ve spent with him. I try to pinpoint times when I could have noticed his abusive tendencies, but I come up blank. It’s scary how much you think you know someone, just to be proven wrong. Can you really ever know somebody?

After finishing a ten mile run through Central Park, I still don’t have any answers. I don’t know how I didn’t see that Kohen is exactly like Wyatt. He has been nothing but perfect since I’ve met him. He doesn’t even give off that too-nice vibe. He just seems to have the same amount of worries as everyone else.

With Jax’s father, Wyatt, it was obvious since the first time I met him that he was a troubled man. He showed it in everything that he did. Even when I was little, I knew that there was something wrong. As a kid, Jax would cower away from his father whenever he raised his hand or made any fast movements. I feared him from the moment I met him and even more so the first night I saw what he was capable of; the night that Jax finally let me in, and shared his burden.

Stumbling down the hallway leading to my apartment, I’m so preoccupied that I don’t realize someone is sitting beside my door until I trip over a pair of legs.

“Crap I’m—” The apology dies when Kohen leaps off the floor.

“Please, Adalynn, five minutes, and if you still don’t want to talk to me, I will never bother you again.”

I cross my arms over my chest and nearly yell, “Oh, so you expect to tell me some bullshit excuse that makes it okay to slam someone into a wall? Wow, this must be good. I can’t wait. You now have four minutes. Go.”

He runs his hands through his hair and down his face, exhaling loudly. He moves toward me, but when he sees me take two steps back, he gives up.

“Adalynn, you know me, I’m not the person you saw today. I lost it with Mike. I’ve been his mentor for so long I didn’t even think to make sure he knew what he was doing and I failed him. I was more mad at myself than him for expecting too much, so early, and I lost it.”

I roll my eyes and make a point to glance down at my phone to check the time. Times like this I wish I was wearing one of my watches.

“Simple mistakes like the one Mike made today can cost people their loved ones. Families can be ruined by one simple mistake.”

Guilt washes over his face. Before his eyes cast down, I see the sign of unshed tears. It’s almost enough for me to wrap my arms around him, but I need more from him. I stand frozen as I silently beg him to let me in, waiting for him to fill in the last puzzle piece.

“I know this doesn’t excuse the way I handled everything earlier, but all I saw when he told me what happened was the doctors explaining to my dad that the brain tumor was inoperable and she didn’t have much time. It was a simple mistake. If they were paying attention to the signs, they could have noticed it sooner and things may have been different. That’s all I saw today, I didn’t even realize what was happening until I heard you whisper my name.”

I hate that I feel badly for him. For the first time, I can see how broken he really is, like me. He’s not the perfect man I thought he was. More than anything, I hate that I can justify his actions. It’s painfully obvious how hard it is for him to share this, yet he is. I have no idea why, I’m nothing special. But for some reason, he thinks I’m worth it. I let him take a timid step towards me. He stops when he is a breath away from me.

“I’m so sorry for what you saw today. As much as I want to say I wish you weren’t there, I won’t lie to you. I’m glad you were,” he whispers.

“Why?” I whisper back.

“If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have stopped. You saved me from making the biggest mistake of my life.” Skimming his fingertips over my cheek, he gazes intently into my eyes. “I would never hurt you, Adalynn.”