GAME’S ON. I’LL SWING BY AROUND 6 WITH A 12 PACK.

Jace was referring to Monday night football. Something he rarely, if ever, missed. That sounded great to Michael. He’d forgotten the game was even on, but it would be fun to kick back with Jace.

I HAVE BEER. SEE YOU THEN.

Jace texted him back.

NOT MY BEER. NOT THE KIND THAT WINS GAMES.

Michael chuckled. Jace wasn’t usually picky about his beer, but when he watched one of his favorite teams play, he drank only a certain kind. The guy was superstitious like that. Michael replied.

DO YOU HAVE STOCK IN BUDWEISER? IF YOU DON’T, YOU SHOULD.

The bubble started as Jace typed.

HEY, MOCKING MY BREW WILL NOT GET YOU FREE USE OF MY TOOLS IN THE FUTURE. SEE YOU AT 6.

It was three fifteen.

Michael headed up to the library, thinking about Piper and a particular service elevator he couldn’t wait to get back into, readjusting his hard-on as he went.

20

__________________________

____________

“Then Larry started to cry!” Piper exclaimed to the women seated around. “Seriously, he broke down right in front of me. It was the saddest thing I’ve ever seen. I took everything over from that point. The guy was behaving like the company already had one foot in the grave and clients were going to fire us left and right.”

“So what did you do?” Caroline asked. She was seated next to Gillian. The contrast between the two was like night and day. Caroline was soft and blonde, Gillian hard and dark. They’d met for the first time twenty minutes ago, and Piper had witnessed a genuine admiration form between them immediately. Mostly because Caroline had gone head-to-head with Gillian from the start, both of them bandying retorts back and forth. Piper could tell Caroline had been apprehensive about meeting Gillian, but that had faded as soon as Gillian had opened her mouth and asked Caroline what kind of a Stepford wife she was, to which Caroline had replied, “The kind that swallows.” Gillian had been duly impressed. And so had Piper.

“I called an all-company meeting, of course,” Piper told them. “I spelled out all the implications to all the employees if this information ever got out—including none of us having a job anymore. I played down Rory’s role as pimp extraordinaire and equated him to a hipster trying to fulfill a deluded fantasy. By the time the day ended, everything seemed pretty back to normal. Larry was so happy with me he told me he was giving me a bonus, which he deemed ‘a cool in the time of crisis’ bonus.” Piper took a sip of her martini. “I have no idea if he was serious, but I’ll take it. I still can’t believe our Web developer is a pimp. Well, former Web developer, because he is so fired. Do pimps do hard jail time?”

“Don’t look at me,” Gillian said, holding up her hands. “I have no idea. I don’t have regular dealings with prostitutes or pimps.”

“I think it’s a felony,” Emma said. “Each state is different, but I’d think if he was running something that big, and they could prove it, he’d do some time.”

“I don’t get how they wore masks and weren’t stopped by security. They had to see them on the cameras,” Caroline said. “That seems odd.”

“Oh, I forgot to tell you!” Piper said. “It seems one of the security guys was in on it. I’m not sure which one, but that must’ve been why one of the cameras was out in the parking garage. I’m sure the girls came in that way. Because of that, we’re all getting these high-tech cards coded with our information, and they’re adding more cameras all over. I’m so glad I had my happy-fun-time before all this happened.” Piper waved the waitress over. When she arrived, Piper said, “We’d like to order some appetizers.” She gave the woman the order they’d decided on, and once she was gone, she addressed the group again. “Okay, other than to share my juicy work gossip, the other reason I wanted to meet is that I’m in need of some serious advice. I’ve talked to each of you, some of you multiple times, but I’m really struggling.”

“What’s going on?” Caroline asked.

“Michael and I had a very sweet night the other night, and I love what we’ve got going on, but I have a confession to make.” She glanced around the table, then down at her drink. “I’m totally scared that I’m going to have a relapse if I push the agenda I want too far.”

“A relapse in what manner?” Emma asked.

Piper shifted in her seat. “You all know to some extent what happened to me in the past. My breakdown happened a long time ago, but just to sum it up, I had a bit of a crisis when I had sex with Pete all those years ago. It sent me spiraling down into a deep, dark hole. Since then I haven’t really enjoyed sex as much as I used to. That’s not true—I have enjoyed it, but I’ve chosen, almost without realizing it, to be a passive participant, something Marianne always warned me I was doing, but I refused to listen. But, honestly, I was too scared to change anything after the breakdown, for fear I’d experience that same crushing feeling again. It really was horrible.” She glanced around the group. “It was out of my control completely, a visceral reaction I couldn’t stop. It felt like I couldn’t breathe for days. I don’t have to tell all of you that I value control in my life, so this really freaked me out. I didn’t think I’d recover. But”—she held up a finger—“lately all that has slipped away. I’m happy to tell you that when I’m with Michael, I finally feel normal again. I love the new path we’re on, but it’s still a little rocky. I think I’m holding back—no, I know I am. I don’t want to, but what it boils down to is, I’m still really scared, but this time I’m scared to ruin it.” She spread her arms open. “So there you have it.”

Gillian was the first to respond. “I get it, Piper. I really do. I’d be surprised if any of us were immune to that feeling with our own husbands. We’ve all chosen to live on the edge in terms of sex and pleasure. And that in and of itself makes us vulnerable to massive insecurities. I came into this lifestyle early—like teens early. I knew I liked it my way. But that doesn’t stop me from feeling withdrawn and unhappy on occasion, or overthinking what the world thinks of me. But it’s one of those things where after I accept I’m having an off day, I allow myself to forgive myself for being who I am. That way I’m able to keep those feelings at bay. You can, too.”

Caroline nodded along to what Gillian was saying. “You know my story all too well,” Caroline said. “Having just gone through it, it’s still very raw for me. That’s why Jace and I aren’t seeking out anything more than the two of us right now. I’ve come to accept who I am, slowly, and I feel much stronger for it. But I’m still taking those baby steps you drilled into my head. Without those, I’d be a mess. Every day is a new level of acceptance for me, and some days are harder than others. But, overall, like Gillian said, I finally feel like I have control over my emotions.”

Emma leaned over the table, lowering her voice since the waitress had just stopped at the next table. “Piper, you’re someone who loves being in control, and you’re so confident in all other aspects of your life. This is the only place you’ve stumbled. But that doesn’t mean you can’t get that control back. Like everyone here is saying, you really have to accept that what you did with my husband wasn’t a bad thing. If you can let it go, and embrace it as something good instead, maybe you’ll feel less…uncertain moving forward.”

Caroline set her drink down. “If you think back, can you identify exactly what you felt after you were with”—she cleared her throat—“Pete? I felt shame. Like I’d cheated on my husband by receiving pleasure from another man. I felt that I’d broken our marriage vows. The feeling in my chest was so tight, I couldn’t think straight—hell, I couldn’t even see straight. I still have a hard time remembering what happened exactly after the encounter. But you’re the one who helped me through it by challenging me to see that Jace and I didn’t share the same viewpoints on the matter. That was a huge deal for me. Jace was coming at it from a totally different place, and I had heaped all my insecurities on him, thinking he was internalizing it like I was. If you can identify the trigger, maybe you can get past it once and for all?”