Piper grunted. “I’m selfish in all other areas, believe me. I want what I want, when I want it. I don’t even know if kids are in the cards for us because I like my life to myself. But that’s a discussion for another time. But what turns me on? Just me? God, that’s a good question. I’ve been in the same holding pattern for so long, I’m not even sure. The first thing that pops into my mind is I want to do something brand new and exciting. I want to be floored and totally surprised by sex, and not worry, at all, for one second, about my husband’s pleasure. But at the same time I want to surprise him. To tell you the honest truth, I’m so tired of being worried about my sex life and my marriage, I just want to be. Does that make sense?”

There was nodding all around.

“It makes total sense,” Emma said. “And if this works for you, I might need to take a page out of your book and try it for myself. Like you, I’m constantly wondering if Pete is happy, if he’s turned on enough, if what we’re doing makes him happy. It’s exhausting. I think I’m in the same boat. What he and I really need is a vacation.”

“Then take one,” Gillian urged. “There’s nothing like getting away for a while to figure out what you like about each other—and don’t. Vacation is the ultimate equalizer.”

“Michael and I took a minitrip not too long ago,” Piper said. “But we weren’t in the right head space to figure anything out. My husband’s workload is always heavy, so we’re never able to go on a long trip. But I agree with Gillian. You should plan something big and fun. Total relaxation and lots of sex!”

“I agree wholeheartedly, Emma. You deserve a vacation.” Caroline addressed Piper. “What’s at the top of your wish list for sex? Maybe you can incorporate that into your top ten as the very last thing you do? Once it’s over, you tell Michael everything and get it all off your chest. It’s kind of a must to talk to him. If you don’t do that, you can’t heal this old wound.”

Piper downed the last of her martini. “I know I’ll have to talk to him, but that doesn’t mean I want to. Thinking about telling him all this still makes me queasy. He could just as easily say this is not what he wants, then what?”

“He’s not going to,” Caroline answered. “He’s going to be happy that you’re happy. You’re going to have to trust me on that.”

Piper nodded.

“She’s right, you know,” Gillian said. “Michael is going to be massively relieved when all this is settled. Once it is, you guys can start experimenting again like I know you want to. You just brought up attending an orgy the other day. That’s not for someone who wants to take a passive role in her sex life. That’s someone who wants to jump in with both feet. In fact, that’s what I think your new start should be. You go to the orgy and balls-out have a great time, and don’t worry for one second about your husband. Make it about you and your new beginning.”

“Wow,” Caroline commented. “That would definitely be jumping in with both feet. I think it’s a bold idea. If you can get through that without a breakdown, I don’t think you’ll have anything to fear from that point forward.”

“I’ve been wanting to do something like this for a long time,” Piper conceded. “I think it would be empowering on so many levels, and you know, I’d really love to not give a shit for once. I don’t think you can give much of a shit when you’re at an orgy.”

“I actually think it sounds like a perfect plan,” Emma said. “Something that will wake you the fuck up and shake up your insides.”

Piper shot Emma a look. “You crack me up. You’re like a ballerina on the outside and a badass on the inside.”

Emma buffed her nails against her shirt and blew on them. “Yep. I really try to nurture my badass side. She doesn’t get to come out very often.”

“I like her. She stays,” Piper told Emma. Then she turned to Gillian. “If I decide to attend this orgy, balls-out, how about you and Brad join us?”

It took Gillian a second, but then she grinned. “As your wingmen?”

“Exactly.”

21

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____________

Michael and Jace were on Michael’s sofa in the den off the kitchen, their feet propped on the coffee table. They’d already eaten the pizza Michael had ordered and were reclining with a few Buds, watching the game.

Michael glanced over at Jace. “Can I ask you something?”

“Shoot,” Jace replied, not taking his eyes off the game.

“I think I told you Piper and I are doing this top-ten sex list thing, right?”

“Yeah, you mentioned it when we were putting in your TV. Caroline told me about it, too.”

“What did Caroline say about it?” Michael asked, curious what Piper’s best friend had relayed to her husband.

He shrugged and took a shot of his beer. “She didn’t say much. But the other night she seemed to think Piper wasn’t that into it.”

Michael’s eyebrows raised. He already knew that, based on their conversation at Le Repas, but it was surprising that she’d already shared her feelings with Caroline. Or maybe it wasn’t surprising. “Did she mention why she didn’t think Piper was into it?”

“She said Piper is more spontaneous than that and prefers something more organic.” Jace glanced at him, grinning. “I wouldn’t worry about it too much. She also said Piper told her she’s loving every minute of sex with you again.”

“Again?”

Jace coughed and then took another gulp of his beer. “Dude, it’s not that she was dissatisfied before, but I guess whatever you’ve been doing lately is more to her liking. I don’t know. Caroline is usually talking about this stuff right before we’re about to get busy. I’m distracted by her body and what she’s doing more than what she’s saying to me. It’s in one ear and out the other.” There was an interception, and Jace jumped off the couch and wooted his approval.

Once he sat back down, Michael asked, “Has Caroline mentioned anything about Piper’s worries or fears?”

Jace raised his brows as he looked over.

“The reason I’m asking is I’m going back and forth about whether I should take her somewhere, but I’m leaning toward no. It’s the last thing on my top five, but I’m not sure Piper will want to do it.”

“No, Caroline hasn’t said anything. But if Piper’s not into the top-ten thing, I’d suggest scrapping it. There are plenty of ways to have good sex. No need to stress her out.”

Michael nodded and took a drink of his own beer. “That’s exactly what I’m thinking. I think I’ll scrap it. We had the best sex ever in the elevator at Le Repas. By the way, you need to book that place immediately. Your wife will love it. But in the end, I don’t want to jeopardize the good thing we’ve got going on by taking her someplace she doesn’t want to go. I just wish I could get Piper to talk to me. That’s the only reason I haven’t made a final decision. I was hoping to feel her out.” He set his empty beer can on the table.

“Where do you want to take her?” Jace asked.

“It’s called the Sexual Underground. It’s a white-collar orgy. Very secretive. But I managed to get us on the guest list for this Saturday. Orgies have always been a fascination of hers, and mine, for that matter. But since she had her breakdown, it’s never come up again. I don’t want to freak her out. It’s not worth it.”

Jace shook his head. “I agree. Not a lot of women like to be blindsided when it comes to that kind of stuff.” He laughed good-naturedly. “I don’t know what to tell you, man, except to keep the conversation open. Women are hard to figure out. They want one thing, then they don’t, then they do. I love my wife, but I never want to see her as unhappy as she was that night we left the Slaters. That killed me. She’d have to hit me over the head and knock me unconscious and drag me to something like what you’re talking about. As of right now, that’s not in the cards for us.”