“But there are a lot of states between Arkansas and California.”

“Sure, and that was part of the appeal.” Not that anyone really would have looked for her by that point anyway. “Los Angeles had lots of opportunity. Or I thought it did anyway.”

“It didn’t?”

“It was harder than I thought it would be. I was homeless for a while when I first arrived. That sucked.” Not as much as the place she lived back in Happy Bend though. “But in a few months I had enough saved for a shitty little apartment. I had a few jobs. It got better.”

“You were how old?”

“Seventeen.”

“Christ. That’s young.”

“I was never young.” She kept working, working to keep herself detached from the details. It was her life; she wasn’t ashamed. She didn’t necessarily hide it. But she didn’t go into it with much depth with many people. With most people, she supposed.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Not much to tell really. Shitty childhood. It’s not a unique story. My adulthood is better. I overcame it and I prefer to keep it that way. My past doesn’t hinder me, it serves as a reminder that there’s better out there for me and it wasn’t in Arkansas.”

“I’m sorry. Abuse?”

“Here and there.”

“While in foster care?”

“Not always.”

He sucked in a breath. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s long done. Be glad your daughter has a bright future and a wonderful past to look back on.”

“I am. Her mother, my ex, well, Carrie will probably have stuff to deal with, but she seems to be handling it fine.”

“She’s got a parent who loves her. She’s got a great future. If she can’t make something of herself with that, she’s not the kid you talk about.”

“She and I went to counseling for a while. Did you ever go?”

She laughed but then cringed because there was nothing but loathing in the sound.

“No.”

“Don’t believe in it?”

“Look, there was no money for that stuff. There wasn’t anything. I made it through. That’s what counts.”

It was easier to talk about it to his back.

She outlined, wiped the ink away, outlined, wiped the blood away. It was what she did. She created new things and didn’t think about the old. Looking back slowed you down.

He sighed. “I don’t know what to say.”

“There’s nothing to say. Not really. It was a shitty childhood. It made me into who I am today. I survived it. Lots of people didn’t. So, let’s talk about you again.”

“No, I want to keep talking about you.”

“For fuck’s sake, why? I’m not a project like a hygiene center.”

“I don’t think that. I’m trying to know you.”

This is why she kept things light. “Don’t. I’m sure you’ve heard. I know you asked about me. I’m not worth knowing. Just fuck me and enjoy it and then move on.”

“That’s not who I am. And that’s not who you are.”

She snorted. “That’s totally who I am, Jonah. I’m a bitch. I’m a whore. I like to fuck. Lots of people.”

He turned then, grabbing her wrist, his eyes ablaze. She didn’t even have a moment to be angry at how he could have just made her ink a line across his back if she’d had the needle down.

“You’re not a whore. I’ve touched you. I’ve seen you. Stop.”

“Don’t make me into something I’m not. I’ll break your heart if you expect more.”

“I expect all of you. You should know that going in.”

Her heart pounded so hard and fast she was a little light-headed. He tore her defenses down. She barely knew him and he had this much power to affect her. What would it be like if they continued?

“Then we should be friends. I can do that much better.”

“Oh, we are friends. And we’ll continue that. But we’ve moved past the ‘just friends’ stage.”

“You barely know me. I don’t do relationships.”

“Oh yes, you do. You’re doing it right now. Neither of us is naive. Neither of us is so young we don’t know what this is between us. I’m too old to pretend away what this is.”

“I told you, I don’t do relationships. I’m not a monogamous person.”

“When you’re in my bed you are.”

“Then I can’t be in your bed.”

He smiled and it sent a shiver through her.

“Oh. Yes. Yes, you can. You are.”

“Then you need to accept you may have to share me.”

He shook his head slowly. “Gorgeous, I don’t even share pizza. I’d never share something as delicious as you. I don’t share.”

He scared her. Not physically. He held her wrist but if she really wanted to get away, he’d let go. And that scared her too.

It shouldn’t scare her. She barely knew him! But this was different on so many levels. The way he spoke to her, the way she found herself speaking back to him. He wasn’t shocked by her. He wasn’t scared off.

“Don’t be a coward, Raven. Give yourself to me and me only. I promise to make it worth your while.”

It was a struggle to keep her breath even. A struggle not to run for the door. She should run for the door. She was not cut out for this stuff. If she couldn’t make it work with a stand-up guy like Brody, she truly was a failure at it.

But Jonah wasn’t like Brody. They shared things in common, yes. Both men were both strong and intelligent. But this thing . . . the way her entire system reacted when Jonah touched her or even just spoke to her, well, that was something else entirely.

She understood without a doubt that should she refuse to keep things monogamous, things would be over.

And while she’d been able to accept that and move on every other time this came up . . . she was couldn’t just then. She didn’t want to walk away.

“It’s not marriage. It’s monogamy. You can do it. You’re the girl who came out to L.A. at seventeen and made herself a life. You sure as hell can fuck me and only me. Unless . . . well, I’d say something like unless you’re not really into this thing between us. But that would be a lie. Because I know you are. I can see it in your features. I can feel it around my cock when I’m inside you. You’re not a liar, Raven, and neither am I. I won’t let you be.”

Fascinated, he watched the emotion play across her face. Panic. A whole lot of it. He wondered, not for the first time, what she’d endured to make her this way.

Fear. Oh yes. Not of him. At least not that he’d physically harm her. He hoped his own didn’t show. His fear that she’d reject this and back off. Because though he’d made the threat that it was all or nothing, he wanted her too much and he wasn’t entirely sure if he could resist her.

Desire. Which he knew mirrored his own.

Hope. Which nearly broke his heart. And reminded him that she was not a thing to be played with, but a complicated woman with flaws and no small amount of baggage. But he wanted something with her. There was no denying it. No denying this woman brought so many things to the surface. More than need, which he nearly drowned in. More than lust and sexual hunger for her.

He wanted to dominate her in all the best ways. Her pupils flared when he’d grabbed her wrist. Her lips had parted, skin flushed. She got off on it as much as he got off doing it. And that only made him want it more. He’d given himself a little; the delight of that crack on her bare ass as he’d fucked her had only whetted his appetite for more.

He wanted to show her the power of what they could have together. Wanted her to trust him enough to give it to him willingly. Wanted to cosset and shower her with delights. If any woman he’d ever met needed spoiling, it was this one.

He wasn’t stupid. He knew she was headstrong and it would take a strong hand to set a tone. To keep the balance right. He had to deserve her submission, and once given, he needed to keep deserving it.

Against his fingertips, the rapid beat of her pulse told him she was freaked out. But the way she hadn’t just told him to fuck off also told him she was considering it.

He needed to push.