“Jesus, baby. I’m so sorry.”

She shrugged. “I’ve never told that story to anyone. It’s been like a sore in my belly for so long it’s been what I thought was normal. But Mike Thompson came to me at the shop. He apologized. He and Bonnie have been looking for me for ages. I have closure on that. I needed that. And I have it and it’s been important. He flew out here with me. They live just about an hour away. They invited me to stay with them. But I had to do it without them. But thank God I don’t have to do it without you. That is if you’re still, you know, if you still want to be with me after I told you all that stuff.”

He knelt in front of her chair and hugged her, his face buried in her chest. “I love you so fucking much it should be scary. I wanted to be with you before I knew this. I want to be with you now. I want to make this better for you and I can’t. I want to punch people and sue them and make them sorry they treated you so poorly.”

She hugged him back, her heart pounding against where he laid his head on her chest. “I’m a terrible person, but that makes me feel better. Jonah?”

He pulled back and looked up into her face. “Yes, baby?”

She smiled. “I love it when you use endearments. If you tell anyone, I’ll only deny it. I love you too. I don’t know that you’re getting as good a deal as I am. But there is it. I’m so weary. You make me less so.”

He grinned. “That’s a pretty damned good deal. I’ll take it.”

They talked for a while longer. He watched her while she ate, making sure she cleaned her plate. Though she was nauseated from the telling, she had been letting herself get run down and she needed the energy and calories. It also made her feel better that he was there to frown at her and tip his chin at the next bite to be taken.

“I’m going to take a shower. Why don’t you get snuggled into bed?”

“Sadly, these showers are of the very small variety or I’d offer to get your back.”

“You’re here. I’m here. That’s what matters. I’ll let you get my back when we get home. I’ll join you for a snuggle when I’m done.”

She went into the bedroom adjoining the smaller common space and pulled the blankets back. Two weeks ago, while staying at his house, she’d stopped locking the door. The first night she’d been awake pretty much the whole time. Dreams intruded when she did get to sleep. But the next night she was there, she tried it again and that time she slept.

She hadn’t told him because she didn’t want to get his hopes up that she’d be able to transition into his room soon. And she was tired of it. Tired of the things that had sort of frozen her life into a ball of anxiety. She wanted to be with him and so she pushed herself bit by bit, and the last time she’d stayed at his house, right before Carrie had come, she’d slept with her door open a crack.

And she’d slept all night long.

So when he came out of the shower, she patted the mattress as she drank in the sight of him. So masculine, even in sleep pants and a T-shirt. He smiled and slid in with her, pulling her close.

“Thank you for coming. I know I said it before, but I want to say it again. It means so much to me.”

“I’m here for you. Carrie would have wanted me to come to you, you know. She likes you. She’d be heartbroken to imagine you were here alone all so I could have taken her out to dinner and a movie or whatever.”

“Family is important, Jonah. Carrie doesn’t need to know about this. All she ever needs to know about me is that I value your commitment to her and that I will always expect you to put her first. That’s your job. And memories are made from dinners and movies. That’s more important and you can’t say a damned thing that would make me disagree.”

“Stubborn.” He ran his fingertips over her collar.

“I have to be to keep up with you. I had to take it off. At the airport I mean.”

“The collar?”

“Yes. I’m sorry.”

He laughed, pulling her even closer, which was just fine with her. He gave off heat like a furnace and he made her feel safe. Plus he smelled good.

“Don’t apologize. It’s not because I think you need it to remember what we have. Also it’s the airport, you have to do it and I certainly don’t expect you to do otherwise.”

“It helped. The collar, I mean. When I felt alone or overwhelmed I’d touch it. Or when I was lost, it would be there against my skin. Reassuring. Strong. Like you.”

He hummed, kissing the top of her head. “I like that. You should sleep. I’ll leave when you fall asleep and lock the door. There’s a bed in the couch. I’ll be fine.”

“The last eight times I slept at your house I started experimenting. At first I’d unlock the door when I woke in the middle of the night. Then I left it unlocked, which was hard, I admit. But then I left it unlocked and slept just fine. The last time I left the door open a crack. I want you in here with me. I can’t promise I’ll be able to do it, but I want to try. I want to sleep next to you. I need that. Especially tonight.”

He moved so that she was on her back and he loomed over her. “Really?” He kissed her softly.

“Yeah.”

“Then I’ll have to make you nice and tired, good and relaxed, so you’ll sleep well.” The flash of that grin made things tighten up. Her nipples, her clit. Her skin was extra sensitive with him so close.

“Yay.”

He kissed her again. A slow, deep, meandering kiss. His tongue slid over her bottom lip just before he nipped it. She moaned and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. Holding on.

He slowly unbuttoned her shirt, petting over her skin, bringing her to life in a way only he could. She gave over to him immediately because things were better when she did. Because he took away all the anxiety and worry and he made it all right.

“Love these tits.” He pinched her nipples, tugged at the hoops in them until she writhed into his touch.

She managed to get the muscle control to grab the hem of his shirt and pull it off, tossing it away somewhere. She hissed when she rose up and they were skin to skin. The heat of him was so good.

She licked over his chest. “I can pierce you. If you like.” She ran the edge of her teeth over his left nipple, the one he favored. The one that made his cock jump in her hand where she’d shoved it down the front of his sleep pants.

“Yeah?”

“Mm. Yes.”

She ran her nails down his sides. She still had one last session to do on his back to finish up the shading and he’d be done. She was careful not to dig her nails into the muscles there, though she wanted to. Though he made a rather delightful groan when she did. He needed to be totally healed first.

Then she’d scratch her nails down his back so he’d know he was all hers.

“That smile you’re wearing strikes fear in my heart.”

She laughed, her head tipping back, exposing her throat to his hot, openmouthed kisses. “I was just thinking about how I’m going to mark your back up with my nails so no other ladies can get a taste. You’re all mine.”

He laughed, nipping the delicate skin of her neck. “I’m all yours already. Not like any other ladies will be around me with my shirt off to see anyway.”

“Oh, well done. I like that answer.”

“It’s true.” He reared up long enough to pull her pants and underwear off and kick his own free as well. When he returned he lay on her, all his weight for a short period of time. Skin to skin. Both groaned at how good it was.

“I never understood what it was to be like this with anyone. I heard people talk about the deep connection they had while they were having sex and I thought it was bullshit. Sex is great and you can feel close to your partner, sure, but this? What I feel every time I touch you? Nothing else compares.”

He kissed her long and slow again, seducing her as she let herself fall under his spell. She was safe with him. No matter how much he excited her or stoked her desire, she could trust him with the barest parts of herself.