But at the same time butterflies ignited in my stomach because there were still these concentrated feelings between us. I could feel the electricity as it sparked in the air around us.

“I shouldn’t?” I asked in a pleading voice.

“No.” His hand dropped from my face and reached out to grip my waist almost painfully. He yanked me against his body so that my legs straddled one of his and our chests pressed up against each other. “I’m not the same man, Stella.”

I didn’t know what to say, so I stayed silent, just absorbing his presence and drinking him in. He felt dangerous now, like the enemy he was. But I still couldn’t pull myself away from him.

“But I can’t stay away from you,” he growled. “Not even after I’ve lost so much of myself.”

And then before I could think or process his words his mouth was on mine, hungry and desperate. This was in no way like any kiss he’d given me before. This was passionate and consuming, he was drinking in my soul to fill the place where his was missing.

And I was letting him.

His mouth was insistent and demanding on mine. One moment we were pressing lips together, and the next his tongue had slipped inside and claimed mine. I gasped at the feel, the hot sensation, the explosion of desire inside of me.

He gripped my hips with his huge hands and slammed my body against his. He slid down an inch on the car so our mouths were perfectly aligned. My hands clutched at his chest, his shoulders, I slid them around his neck and then into his hair. I couldn’t decide where they should land or what part of him I wanted to touch more.

And he was the same way. His hands moved from my soccer shorts to pull at my jersey. He untucked it, only to slide his fingers along the bare skin of my waist and then up higher, just under my sports bra. They lingered there for a few moments, sliding along the seam. My mind swam with the will power to slow down, but he was stoking a need so hot and powerful that all rational thinking had fled leaving me a melting puddle.

Finally, he seemed to grasp some control of his wandering hands, because they slammed back down on my naked waist and he squeezed me until it was almost too much.

Almost, but not quite.

And instead of feeling afraid, all I felt was his strong, urgent need to hold on to me, to possess me in some way, as the rest of his life slipped out of his control.

He spun us around and my back slammed into the metal of my mom’s car. The movement knocked the wind out of me, but he swallowed my gasp as he continued to own my mouth with his. Then as if a switch had been flipped, he slowed our kiss down and began pressing the sweetest kisses everywhere but my mouth. He trailed seductive, wet kisses along my jaw, up to my earlobe and then down the column of my neck. His breathing was ragged and heaving and his huge body pressed intimately against mine so that all I could feel was him- all I knew was him.

He was my only plane of existence and my only reality.

And when he paused and I inhaled him into my lungs, I knew I was the same for him.

“You’re my anchor, Stella. How can I live without you?” he breathed raggedly against the hollow of my throat. “I need you with me. Or I will die.”

I trembled at the force of my emotions. He meant that in the most literal sense and my entire soul ached with the hard truth of our situation.

My arms circled his neck and I pulled him to me in a tight embrace. He wrapped his muscled arms around my waist and held me just as securely. He buried his face in my neck, breathing in my sweat from the game, and the crisp wind scent from running around outside. I inhaled him- the delicious scent that was Seth and the aura of Light that he would never lose- no matter how dark his life became.

“You have me,” I swore and I meant it. “You have me.”

He tightened his impossible hold and I struggled to breathe- but it didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered were our beating hearts pressed against each other, our souls intertwined in the metaphysical place surrounding our bodies and our hands clutching at an emotion so palpable and defining that our entire lives would be changed after this moment.

I loved him.

I finally loved him and he was taken from me.

“Stay with me,” I whispered, begged, pleaded. “Don’t leave me. Stay with me.”

“I have to leave you.” His voice was a shadow of himself, desperately harsh and pained. “But I will come back to you. I will always come back to you.” He lifted his head and pressed his forehead against mine. His lightless eyes glimmered with unshed tears; seeing him so close to losing it was my ultimate undoing.

I hiccupped a sob and pressed my lips against his, frantic to stay in this moment forever, to feel him forever.

He immediately reacted, pulling me into his overwhelming need. My lips were bruised and swollen from his insistent kisses, and I was gasping for air, but whatever space remained between us was too much. His mouth became almost punishing as he devoured mine.

Our hands were grasping, clutching, desperate for the touch and feel of each other.

This wasn’t a kiss, it was a love letter. This was our manifesto.

My skin was a beacon of light in the darkness that surrounded us, but his only let off the Darkness that at one time would have shone as radiantly as the sun. He was now my opposite, my enemy.

But he was also my Seth.

And I loved him. 

There was probably never a choice for me but to love him, but to be his. I had taken too long to come to my epiphany and now he was gone from me.

But I needed to tell him anyway.

“Seth,” I gasped when he moved back to my neck. “I-“

“Well, isn’t this cozy?” Seven giggled from behind Seth.

He immediately stopped whatever delicious thing his tongue was doing to me and stood up. His arms braced him on the car behind me. And even though he separated our bodies, he didn’t make an attempt to move away from me. His gaze caught mine and his eyes were as soulless as his contract made him.

Immediately I was anxious for this confrontation to be over.

And once again I was caught without a sword.

Damn it.

Well, they were in the car, under the driver’s seat. But a lot of good they did me now.

“Sister,” Seth greeted tersely. He held my gaze for a moment longer and then stood up. He pressed a chaste kiss against my lips, surprising me, and then backed away.

I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding and stood up straight. I adjusted my clothes that had gotten a little disheveled during our make out, and ripped out my hair tie to redo my hair. Half of my head was soaked with sweat, so it was easy to smooth back and knot in a messy bun on top of my head.

“I hope I’m not interrupting something….. scandalous.” Seven walked over to her brother and trailed her fingers along his shoulder, stopping at the edge and brushing something invisible off his white oxford.

Seth smirked in my direction. He was completely transformed now that Seven had arrived. Gone was the haunted, desperate man and in his place was a stranger. He even dressed differently. He was clean and polished in a white button up dress shirt and gray trousers. He looked like a man, not a seventeen year old boy. His face was hard, his expression unforgiving.

And he shocked the hell out of me when he answered his sister. “You are. We were definitely on our way to scandalous.”

“We were just kissing,” I heard myself whisper.

Seven and Seth laughed like they knew a secret I didn’t and I immediately felt stupid for even replying. This was not the Seth that had snuck away to kiss me.

But then Seven’s attention was distracted and she turned away from me; the laughter abruptly stopped. I looked up at Seth, wondering if he would at least look apologetic, but his eyes were unchanging and the same damn smirk tilted his lips.