“What. In. The. Hell?” Jameson growled and stalked up to the camp site. Landon just turned to look at me and grinned. Your “captors,” were that large group of senior citizens.

“It looks as though you ladies were being missed! We kept you far too long!” one of the elderly ladies said, standing up from her chair as Landon and I followed behind Jameson.

You turned in your seat, and even though your expression confirmed you were fine, my eyes still tracked over every inch of you. I think I just needed to rid the thought of you being hurt. Since you left, I’ve been having a reoccurring nightmare of this whole situation, except we never find you, and when I wake up, you’re still gone.

Remember those cookies they sent back with us? There was like a hundred of them I’m pretty sure, who knows—we learned an important lesson that night—Kendall likes to eat sweets when she drinks. We discovered part of the reason Kendall’s damn bag weighed so much. She’d packed a fucking liquor store in there! Neither of you drank much, only enough that Kendall wasn’t rigid with fear and turning around every two seconds, positive she heard a bear. And apparently enough that she wanted to eat cookies. There were like four flavors, gingersnaps, chocolate chip, oatmeal raisin, and one other. Do you remember what the fourth one was? It’s going to drive me crazy. Forgetting these details is starting to scare the shit out of me. If they’re gone, like you, what will I have left?

We all went to bed commenting about how beautiful it was outside, and how the air smelled different, cleaner. I hadn’t realized how tired I was until we got in the tent and then I think I fell asleep within seconds.

The lilt of your laughter is what woke me up. I didn’t need to roll to see if you were behind me, I never slept with my back facing you, I liked to feel you against my chest. I heard more laughter and the undeniable sound of splashing, and grabbed a flashlight before crawling out of the tent. A smile kept working its way onto my face though I wanted to be serious. You two were going to attract some horn balls. Then we’d be praying for a damn bear.

The gravel crunched under my feet as I made my way down the embankment. The moon, nearly full, reflected off of the lake, illuminating your dark figures racing down the dock, giggling and screaming as you both catapulted into the water with a splash.

You both surfaced and laughed, and then began swimming back toward shore before I reached the embankment. I was pretty positive you guys had been drinking by how many giggles were punctuating your conversation. Even without the interruptions of laughter, I couldn’t understand most of what you guys were sharing. Half of the time, you Bosse girls communicate through osmosis it seems.

A movement in the bushes caught my eye, and I turned to see what might be prowling when I heard you. My foot connected with an empty glass bottle, confirming you two had been drinking as I looked back to the water.

“Max?” You sounded a little hesitant, making me question if I should have gone down.

Before I could consider it, Kendall saw me. Remember her reaction? God, she screamed loud! I knew she was naked, I’d seen your clothes on the shore, but if her scream hadn’t caught my attention, her failing attempt to plunge into the water that didn’t even cover her knees when she stood, did.

You were in hysterics, still far enough back that you were mostly beneath the water, nearly choking on laughter.

“What are you doing? Did you see my lady bits? Oh my God! You saw my lady bits!” Kendall screamed, thrashing through the water.

My head spun, trying to process everything going on. I was a little worried you two drunkettes were going to drown with you still laughing and Kendall screaming and moving like she’d been capped in the ass. Not to mention you were naked and only twenty feet from me, which had me completely distracted. It was ruined only slightly by the words ‘lady bits’ running through my mind. What in the hell are lady bits anyways? And then those damn bushes moved again, and I was a little concerned that a bear or cougar had spotted some easy prey.

“What’s wrong? What’s going on?” Landon called as he slid down the embankment in his jeans and flip flops. That of course only led Kendall to start shrieking about her lady bits again, and you to break into a new fit of giggles.

“What in the hell’s going on?” Landon’s eyes were wide and alert, and I knew that the hand behind his back clutched a gun.

“I think there’s a bear in those bushes,” I quietly explained, pointing toward the movement I’d seen.

“Shit,” Landon whispered. “Is that what all the screaming was about?”

“No, I’m pretty sure Tweedle drunk and Tweedle drunker aren’t able to focus on something long enough to notice a bush move.”

“Um, are you guys just going to stand there? Because if I show you my lady bits again, I’m expecting breakfast!” Kendall yelled.

We ignored her. Landon was focused, his eyes slitting as he stared into the darkness. I knew he could handle himself, we’d gone to a couple of shooting ranges when we lived in Alaska, but having you around a wild animal and a gun, scared the hell out of me.

Landon pulled his gun from the back of his waistband. I knew Kendall was yelling about towels, or something, but I didn’t really focus on what she was saying until she started screaming again and then asked what we were doing loud enough I’m sure Texans heard her.

“Shhh! There’s a bear in those bushes!” Landon’s tone was clipped, verging on impatient. I’d never heard him use that tone except once, when we’d gone to an indoor shooting range and a guy kept talking to his buddy, waving his arms around with his gun still in hand and loaded. Landon went over and took the gun from the dude’s hand and emptied the chamber and then pointed it down range and told the moron that was the only direction to point a gun, loaded or not. The guy was so stunned he didn’t reply, but when we left, they were waiting for us in the parking lot.

That really isn’t a story you’d want to hear … anyways, so his tone, or maybe the fear of the bear seemed to sober you both up quick because you asked, “What should we do.” And your voice was quiet, all traces of laugher gone.

“Landon’s going to shoot at the bushes and scare it off,” I explained.

“What if you hit it?” I should have anticipated that question from you.

I shook my head just slightly, to rid the thought and calmly explained that it wouldn’t hurt the bear much. Bears are huge, it takes something a lot more powerful than the pistol Landon held to hurt them.

Landon stepped forward, his gun extended and those two punk ass kids came barreling out of the bushes, making both of you girls scream in shock. They were lucky it was Landon holding the gun; it caught me off guard too. I probably would have accidentally shot them, but after his time in war, Landon’s training was engrained in him.

“We’re not a bear. We just got lost!” one of the boys said as he held his hands up in surrender.

The other shithead tripped, his voice sounding pre-puberty as he squeaked, “Yeah, we were trying to find the bathroom!”

Kendall of course didn’t buy their shit. Neither did I. “Oh my God! How long have you been spying on us, you pervs!”

“Long enough we saw your lady bits!” the first one said with a snicker. He elbowed the other one, and they dashed back through the shrubs, up toward the embankment, and we heard the other boy swear at him in warning about getting shot by a jealous boyfriend.

“I feel drunk enough to think this is funny, but sober enough not to laugh.” Your words broke through my anger because when you spoke them it sounded like you’d reached a profound revelation, and even though I had half a mind to go track those asswipes down, I smiled.

“I’ll go get towels. You mind keeping an eye out for a minute?” I asked, turning to Landon who seemed to find the process of events fairly amusing based on the lopsided grin that replaced the intensity that consumed him earlier.