As I retrieved my keys from the tent, I chuckled as the scene played through my head again.

“My God! It’s freezing!” If you had been alone, I don’t know that I would have had the control to turn around as you waded to shore to get the towels I left, but since Kendall was with you, Landon and I had turned to face camp.

Your entire body was shivering as you huddled close to me, and I instinctively wrapped my arm around your shoulders to pull you closer.

“I think I have your bra,” Kendall said as her teeth chattered violently.

“I’m hoping you have my underwear,” Your clothes were wadded in your hands, so I’m not sure how you knew what you did or didn’t have.

Kendall stopped, causing you to as well as she tried to hold her towel and sift through the pile of clothes she was holding. “Son of a bitch, they stole our underwear!”

This pisses me off far more now thinking about it than it did at the time, because you started laughing. Not just chuckling, no, you were bending over, your clothes about to fall, and the nearby campsites likely heard you—and I couldn’t help but smile. I miss everything about you Ace, but your laughter, I miss it so much it makes my chest hurt.

We were still over a month out until “slow” ended so I’d left you to get some dry clothes on and went to thank Landon and make sure Kendall got in the tent because as sober as her words sounded, her veering steps assured me she was still feeling the sauce.

The tent was barely lit. You didn’t have a flashlight on, but we’d left the top cover off, exposing the mesh screen, and I was just able to see that you were still wrapped in your damp towel under the sleeping bag.

“Babe, where are your clothes?”

I knew you were smiling when you whispered, “Over there,” and pointed to your bag in the corner. “Come on, those boys saw me naked. Let me end the crazy streak by enjoying a make out session with my seriously hot boyfriend.” You pulled the towel off before your suggestion fully settled on my brain.

The light was dim, but it was more than enough to fully see you naked in front of me. Every muscle in my body became alert as my eyes traveled over you, inch by beautiful inch.

Waiting was already hard, pun intended. What you did that night nearly broke me. I had started to realize you never knew the full effect you had on others from spending so much time with you that summer, but watching you then, seeing the hesitation, and nerves on your face like you thought I’d be disappointed, made me want to worship you and show you exactly what I thought of you in that moment. How did you not know? How did you not know that I’d have done anything for you, and everything to prove how much I cared for you.

“Afraid I’ll bite?” I’m sure your hands were restlessly moving, as much as I wish I’d have paid attention to every single detail in that second, you being naked was a shock I wasn’t expecting and I was distracted. Even though your words were a joke, your tone was uneven, confirming your nerves.

“I’m kind of hoping you do.” My admission made you laugh and I saw a small piece of your self-consciousness drift away with it.

Obviously, we didn’t do anything that night. I wanted to. God, I wanted to. But you’d been drinking, and we were less than thirty feet from both Jameson and Landon. You gave me a valiant pout, but seconds after your head rested against my chest once I’d stripped off my shirt and jeans, you were out cold.

The next morning you didn’t even shift when I slid free. I nearly didn’t. You always slept nestled against me, conforming to me, but that night you were clutched to my side. Holding me like you never wanted to let go. You were warm, and even though you’d been in the lake, I could smell the familiar scent of coconut from your shampoo. But I heard Jameson moving around, quietly grumbling and swearing and it was his birthday, so I was worried something had gone wrong.

My clothes were back on when your arm moved, sliding along the spot I’d just vacated, making me regret getting up. I remember your skin looking so soft and smooth with the sunlight streaming through the screen. Jameson started rambling about something again, so I carefully leaned forward so I wouldn’t disturb you, and covered your exposed shoulder with the sleeping bag. I paused for a second and then pressed a kiss to your forehead while breathing deep through my nose to smell you. This probably sounds weird, but I love way you smell in the morning. When your body is warm from the blankets and being pressed against me, you smell like heaven. I’d pushed up on my forearms to sit up and caught sight of the curve of your neck as you breathed. I can still see you like that. Measure the way your chest rose, and your eyelashes brushed your cheeks, and how your hair glowed a lighter blond with the sun. I kissed you once more and reluctantly crawled out to find Jameson.

His hair was ruffled and sticking up, and he looked exhausted and as grouchy as a black bear being woken up in December.

“Sleep well, sunshine?”

He scowled at me as he dropped into a lawn chair and released a loud yawn. “Between the goddamn birds and Kendall’s drunk snore, I feel like I barely slept.” He rubbed his eyes a couple of times to wipe the sleep away. “I didn’t realize she had drank so much last night. She’s out like a rock this morning.”

“Yeah, they got up and decided to party without us last night.”

“What?” The shock in his voice made me laugh.

“They got plastered and went skinny-dipping in the lake.” I nodded my head in the direction of the water that looked so peaceful and pristine. Calm, as if she hadn’t seen you two Bosse women frolicking naked in her arms.

“Are you shitting me?”

My head shook, trying to hide my grin as I started making coffee.

“Let me get this straight, you got to see my girlfriend and your girlfriend, naked, for my birthday? You lucky fucker.”

“How did you not hear the screaming?” Landon asked, rubbing a hand over his tired face.

Jameson looked from me to Landon. “You saw them too?”

Landon smirked in confirmation, and Jameson threw his hands up in the air, looking toward the sky. “What the hell? It’s my birthday!”

The doorbell rings as I’m putting the jelly back in the fridge. I hate myself a little more as my heart races and my breath catches with the same hope that I’ve been holding on to for the last month, since I watched her pull out of her driveway without looking back.

Muriel faces me as I open the door, looking immaculate as always. You’d never know that her husband unexpectedly passed away only two months ago. When she smiles at me, her neck stretches and her blue eyes drop, exposing holes in her perfect façade.

“Do you have a moment, Max? I’d like to talk to you.”

I take a step back, allowing her to enter without saying a word. I haven’t seen Muriel since before Ace left. I have no idea what she wants to say, but I know I can’t take another failed promise.

She leads us into the living room without looking to see if I’m following, which I am because that small bit of hope that seems to die a little each day, refuses to be smothered.

Muriel takes a seat on the love seat. She’s perched on the very edge of the cushion, looking like she’s prepared to get up and run at any second.

My heart hammers in my chest as I watch her face give me the most miniscule of hints as to why in the hell she’s decided to finally come over. Slowly, I sink into the chair across from her, realizing she’s waiting for me to take a seat before she begins. Her and those damn manners … I wonder if they taught her to find a new husband as soon as the first one passes away in all of those cotillion classes she talks about.