When days changed to weeks, I realized that she was really gone, and my cocaine use tripled. Knowing that I’d lost Chloe sent me spiraling further and further into the darkness now consuming me. Every day, it grew worse as I realized she wasn’t going to change her mind and come back. Without her, I found it hard to go on. I couldn’t believe that I’d let some chick get to me like this, but she wasn’t just any chick. She was my Chloe.

We had just finished our last show when Eric got the phone call that changed everything. I was sitting at the table, eating cereal and moping, while Jade and Adam were playing cards next to me. Eric came running into the bus with a huge grin on his face. He started fist-pumping while doing the most ridiculous dance.

“Dude, you look like you have a vagina,” Adam said as he watched Eric with disgust.

At his words, I snorted and started choking as milk shot out of my nose and back into my bowl of cereal. I shoved it away, disappointed that my dinner had been ruined.

They all started laughing at the look of disgust on my face.

Jade patted me on the shoulder. “Nice.”

“What’s up?” Adam asked Eric.

“You aren’t going to believe this! You remember those demo tapes we sent out to labels before we left? Well, one of them just called me. They want us to fly out to Los Angeles and record some of our new stuff for them.”

Jade started screaming as Adam high-fived Eric.

“That is unbelievable! When are we supposed to be there?” Jade asked.

“They want us there two days from now. They’re going to send a private plane and everything.”

“Holy shit,” I muttered.

I couldn’t believe this was happening to us. We’d been together for years without catching any major attention.

“Let’s not get our hopes up just yet, okay? They’re not offering us a deal. They just want us to come out and record,” Eric said.

“But they’re obviously interested, right? Otherwise, they wouldn’t have even bothered to contact us,” Jade said as she bounced up and down in her chair.

Eric couldn’t keep the smile off his face. “From what the guy said, they’re definitely interested.”

“Yes!” Adam said as he picked up Jade and swung her around.

I laughed. I was happy to see them excited for once. They needed this. I needed this.

“So, I take it we’re going home today?” I asked.

“Yeah, we’re finished with the tour now. We can go home, return the bus, and then fly out,” Eric said.

My stomach flipped as I thought about flying. I wasn’t afraid of flying, but I wasn’t fond of it either. “Can we just drive?”

Jade looked at me like I’d lost my mind. “Drive?”

“It’s been a while since I’ve been on a plane, and it’s not something I want to do again anytime soon.”

Adam grinned. “Better get used to it, pretty boy. If this takes off, we’re going to be flying a lot.”

“Joy,” I mumbled as I laid my head on the table.

After throwing all of my stuff into my bag, I lay down in my bunk, planning to sleep the rest of the way home. We’d played three shows straight in a row over the last few days, and my body was exhausted. It seemed like I had just closed my eyes when someone started shaking me.

“You’re home, asshat. Get up,” Jade said.

I sat up and rubbed my eyes. I felt like complete shit. I grabbed my bag from beside my bunk and started walking to the front of the bus. Through the window, I caught sight of my house, and my heart lightened a little bit. It felt good to be home even if it was going to be only for a day.

Adam and Eric helped me grab my guitars and anything else I had stashed under the bus, and then they carried them to my door for me.

Jade followed behind us, watching me closely. “You going to be okay by yourself?”

I rolled my eyes as I unlocked the door. “Yes, mom. I’ll be fine.”

“Don’t be a smart-ass. You know, we’re all worried sick about you, Drake, and being here without…her will be hard on you.”

“You can say her name, Jade. I won’t break.” I turned to look at her. “Chloe. See? I’m still standing here in one piece,” I said sarcastically.

The truth was I felt broken. I was glad to be home, but I wasn’t sure how I’d feel walking back into my house and seeing her things—if they were even still here.

“You know what? Fuck off, Drake. I’m trying to be understanding here, and as usual, you’re being an ass.” She sighed, clearly frustrated with me. “Try not to overdose before we leave for L.A.” She turned and went back to the bus.

“Ouch,” I said, pretending to be hurt.

I tried not to be bothered by the fact that I’d just pissed Jade off. She’d been temperamental since Chloe left, but now, she was downright livid. I sighed as I turned back to the door and swung it open.

“She’s right, you know. This Drake sucks big, fat monkey ass. You’ve been acting like a big ass prick, and it stinks. I wish you’d get your shit under control before we all drown,” Adam said, glaring at me.

“I’m fine. Thanks for the concern,” I said.

“Bullshit. We know you’re still using, and we’d be blind not to know that it’s getting worse. I’ve sat by and said nothing, but this shit needs to end. You need help.”

“Shut the fuck up! I said that I was fine. What I do is my business and no one else’s!” I yelled.

“You’re our friend, our brother. Of course it’s our business, especially with this possible deal in L.A. We don’t want to lose it because of your problem,” Eric said.

I was so sick of everyone ganging up on me. It was like the whole world was plotting against me. I knew I was getting in deeper than I had originally intended, but I didn’t care. What did it matter now anyway? Chloe was gone, and she wasn’t going to come back.

“We just want the old Drake back,” Adam added.

“Look, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be a dick. It just comes naturally. I’ll try to keep my cool, okay?”

“We want you to get help, Drake. We don’t want to lose you,” Eric said with concern in his voice.

“Just drop it. I can’t deal with this right now. Besides,” I said, holding up my bag, “I have laundry to do.”

Adam rolled his eyes. “Whatever. Deny it all you want, but you’ll have to face this sometime. I just hope it’s not too late when you do.”

I threw my bag inside and then grabbed the things they had set down by my door. After I put those inside, I picked up my guitars. “Thanks for the concern.”

With that, I walked into my house and then slammed the door in their faces. I couldn’t deal with this shit right now. I slipped off my shoes and went into the kitchen, hoping that I had some food that was still edible after being gone for so long. I found a can of peaches and ate them straight from the can as I leaned against the counter.

I glanced down and froze. There was a key sitting there. I set the can down and picked up the key. I turned it over and over in my hands, thinking of Chloe. She had been here. I threw down the key and ran back to the entryway. Her shoes and spare jacket were both gone. I checked the living room next and saw that her books were gone from where she’d left them on the table. I went to the bathroom and found the same thing. Her toiletries were no longer there.

Taking a deep breath, I walked down the stairs to the basement where most of her stuff was boxed up. We’d planned on unpacking it all when we got back home. Everything was missing. I slid down the wall until I was sitting on the floor with my head on my knees. Everything was gone. She was gone. I’d hoped that her things would still be here. That maybe, just maybe, she hadn’t completely given up on us. But knowing that she’s come to pick up all of her shit was like being slapped across the face.

I stood and grabbed the first thing I saw—one of my uncle’s stupid bowling trophies. I threw it against the wall and watched as it shattered from the force of the impact. I couldn’t handle this. I was done. If she didn’t want me, then fuck it. Fuck everything. Fuck her.