Chapter 13 – College - Freshman Year

I got accepted to State along with Makenna and Bryan.  Trent was accepted too and the soccer team was able to offer him a scholarship but he was offered the same at Thrayer University.  Since they had a better program he reluctantly went there.  To say it was devastating to me was an understatement.

When he told me in the barn one night before graduation I cried so hard I started to hyperventilate.  As much as we knew it was the right decision for Trent and his future in soccer, we knew it wasn’t going to work for us.  We made the ultimate decision that we would spend the summer together and break up when we left for school.  When I say we it was more Trent but deep down I knew it would never work going to separate schools.

The summer was amazing.  After a huge fight with my mom about one of her boyfriends I moved in with the Bassos.  With Gabe being up at a school I stayed in his room but I was rarely in that bed.  Each night Trent and I either went to the barn or snuck into one bed or the other.  Mrs. Basso made dinner for us each night and breakfast every morning.  Trent and I would play cards with his parents some nights after dinner.  I loved being part of a real family.

When summer ended, Trent drove me up to school with his parents to say goodbye.  Mackenna and I were rooming together and Bryan was in the floor below us in the co-ed dorm.  She and Bryan had moved in the day before so they were able to help me get all my stuff up to the sixteen floor dorm room.  Mackenna was so excited and I knew I should be too but all I could think about was saying good-bye to Trent.  A half hour later my nightmare came true for the second time in my life I wouldn’t live ten minutes away from Trent.  I wouldn’t see him every day or be able to kiss or hug him.  Since we agreed on breaking up he would no longer be mine and I assumed he would be someone else’s before the month was over.

I said goodbye to Mr. and Mrs. Basso thanking them for taking such good care of me.  Mrs. Basso cried telling me I was welcome anytime and if I wanted to stay there during breaks it would be fine.  Mr. Basso told me to study hard and concentrate on my studies.  They went into the car waiting for Trent.  I waited while Trent said his goodbyes to Bryan and Kenna.  I never thought how hard it would be for Trent and Bryan to separate after eighteen years of being together but they only gave each other that guy hug shaking hands but leaning in really quick.  I saw the sadness in both their eyes.

“So, guess this is it.”  I said to Trent when he walked over to me.  The tears were coming fast and I didn’t want to cry.

“I guess so.  I’m going to miss you Maddy.”  Trent came in giving me a hug.

“I will miss you too.  Be careful at Thrayer.”  I whispered.

“I’ll be fine.  Call me if you need anything and don’t believe all the things the college boys tell you.”  He pulled me back holding my shoulders.

I shake my head up and down unable to talk.

“I love you Maddy.  Have fun, we only get to do this once you know?’  He smiled showing his dimple making me melt.

“Trent, maybe we should try the long distance thing.”  I questioned not wanting to know he is no longer mine.

“Maddy, trust me this is killing me but we made our decision and it’s the right decision.  We have to experience this college thing without dating someone seriously.”  He pulled me closer hugging me longer and harder.

“I know” I lied.  I wondered if I should transfer to Thrayer University.

He started kissing my neck bringing his hands to either side of my face tilting my head so he could kiss me.  I had kissed Trent thousands of times but he must have been saving some skills for right now.  My knees gave way but he held me steady with his hand on my back.

“Man, some goodbye kiss.”  Kenna yelled over from where Bryan was holding her tight.

Trent started pulling me closer moving his mouth to my jaw and then neck.  “Always remember Maddy, I love you.”  He softly spoke.

“I love you too Trent.”  I gave him another chaste kiss.

One more hug and he was gone in his van with his parents waving goodbye to me as Bryan rested on one side of me and Mackenna on the other.  At least I had these two, Trent had no one at Thrayer University but a small part of me thought he liked that.

I was a walking zombie for the first two weeks.  I went to my classes or the library and then came home.  I never went out with Mackenna and Bryan.  On Saturday and Sundays, I stayed in bed the whole day only venturing out for some food, which I would bring home to my dorm.  Trent called me a few times but they only lasted a few minutes and he was too preoccupied with the conversations around him than me.  He seemed to be enjoying himself a lot more than me.

Sunday I was sleeping soundly by myself since Mackenna slept over at Bryans.  His roommate went home every weekend so that is usually where I would find her if I had ever been looking for her.  Suddenly a huge pounding came to my door.  I decide to ignore it; they probably had the wrong door anyway.  The pounding continued and then I heard a male voice telling me to open up the damn door.  I knew that voice and I was surprised to hear it.

I stumble out of bed cringing when I look down at myself.  A tank and boxers, no bra or underwear.  I glance at my closet thinking I should change but he pounds again.  I peek at myself in the mirror, the sight is horrifying.  I obviously have not been taking care of myself these past two weeks.

“Chill out, I am coming.”  I scream back at the guy.  I decide he won’t care how I look so why should I, so I walk over to the door swinging it open.

“About time Madgirl.”  Gabe looks me up and down.  “Not sure what look you are going for, heartbreak girl or an I don’t give a shit girl.”  He walks into my room sitting on Mackenna’s bed.

“Please come on in Gabe.” I close the door behind him walking over to my bed.

“So, are you going to throw this whole college thing away because of my dipshit brother?”  He is blunt and to the point.

“Why are you here Gabe?”  I ask sitting on my bed bringing my comforter over my lap.

“I had a party last night and Little Ross told me how you have been moping around not doing anything.”

“You still live up here?”

“Yeah, my brother didn’t tell you?”  He looks at me dumbfounded.  “Of course he didn’t” he smiles obviously aware of something I am not.  “I decided to double major with marketing and economics.  I have another year until I graduate.”

“Man, you’re a go getter huh?”  Just talking about double majoring sounds exhausting.

“Just making sure I have a future that doesn’t involve Belcrest.”

“Really?”  I am surprised.

“What?  You think I want to live the rest of my life in that small town so everyone can know my business.”

“I guess I just thought you were a lifer.”  I shrug my shoulders.

“You thought wrong.”  He deadpans.  “Now get your shit together and let’s go.”

“Go where?”  I question not moving off the bed.

“We are going to have some fun. You do remember what fun is like, right Madgirl?”  He stands up waiting for me.

“I’m not going anywhere Gabe.”  I shake my head back and forth.

“Listen, don’t think I won’t throw you over my shoulder and drag you into the sunlight.  So, either you get dressed and come quietly or everyone will be able to see you in your tank top and boxers, which I am sure they won’t mind.”  He looks me up and down again.

“You’re so annoying.  Why do you even care what I do?”  I ask still not moving from the bed.

“You are my brother’s girl.  He can’t be here so I will take care of you.”  He starts looking around on my dresser.

“Now you are the one not in the loop.  I’m not your brother’s girl anymore” tears still want to come streaming down.