“I love them both.”  I admit.

“No you don’t.  I actually am starting to believe you don’t love either one since you are stringing them along like this.”  She stops at a park bench in the middle of our town square patting the seat next to her to join her.

“No, it’s not that.  It’s because I love them both that I don’t want to hurt either of them.”

“Huh.”  She looks over the grass in front of us.  There is a family with a young little girl.  The mom is relaxed on the park bench while the dad is following the little girl with brown curls walking a couple steps and then falling down.  They both laugh each time she falls.  “I thought that would be you and Trent.”  She motions her head.  All I can think is I can’t have this conversation.

“Sorry.”  I bite my lip in nervousness.  I am sorry I took that away from her but she will have other chances.

“You think I blame you.”  It is a statement not a question but I answer anyway.

“Don’t you?”

“God no Maddy.  I don’t blame you, it just makes me sad.”  Her eyes still focus on the young family in front of us.  “Do you think Trent is capable of that?”  Pointing to the family again.

“I thought at one time he was, not sure now.”  I honestly state.

“He has always been about himself.  On one hand I am so proud of his drive and success but the way he got there I’m not so sure of.  I’m not blind to my son’s faults Maddy.”  Her eyes finally drift from the family back to me.

“He’s a good man Mrs. Basso.”  I assure her.

“Yes he is.  They are so different, him and Gabe.”

I shake my head in agreement.

“Don’t get me wrong, I see why you have fallen for both, I am biased to them.”  A low laugh comes out, more nervous than happy.

“They are both good men.”  I confirm again about Trent adding Gabe to the list.

“Listen Maddy, I am going to cut to the chase, ok?”  She turns her body directly towards me crossing her legs.

“Ok.”  I gulp hard turning towards her.  This is where she tells me to leave her family alone.

“I love you Maddy.  You are the daughter I never had.  Ben and I would be happy to have you join our family but this has gone on too long.  Seeing my boys fighting and destroying their relationship is tearing me apart.  Do you know Trent is driving back and forth from Chicago because Gabe is at the house?  They haven’t talked to each other for over two years.  If one comes home for a holiday the other doesn’t.  I know I have been cold to you but I see you as the reason my family is in distress.”  Slow tears start to flow down her cheeks but she catches them automatically.

“I’m sorry, I know it has caused strife with them over the years.  I assumed after I left Trent they would rekindle their relationship.”  My stomach hurts after realizing how much I have torn the Basso family apart.

“Are you kidding?  It’s made it worse.”  She smirks like she knows something I don’t.

“I am not surprised you hate me after hearing what you just said I ripped your family apart.”

“I never hated you.  I was mad at you but someone recently told me to talk to you and help you understand where I am coming from.”

“Really?  Do you mind me asking who?”  I know this isn’t the time to talk about who is trying to get Mrs. Basso to become my ally again but I am eager to find out.

“Your mother.”  She smiles up at me.  “She has really turned over a new leaf Maddy, you should be proud of her.”

“She’s like a new woman.”  I roll my eyes.

“Give her a chance.  I know it’s hard.  I was there to witness how bad she hurt you first hand but she loves you.   Forgiveness might take time but don’t shut her out.”  She pats me on my knee.

“We’ll see.”  I exhale.  I have to remember this town loves to delve into peoples business, isn’t this the reason I left.

“In regards to my sons.  Do me a favor and choose?  I thought you had walked away from both of them but after this week I see my boys fighting over your attention more than ever before.  I honestly can’t take it any longer.  I want my family back.  I know it’s a hard decision, I raised good boys.”  She laughs.  “But if I ever want them back they need to know whatever you decide is final.  Once you ultimately choose the other will have no decision but to accept it.  I pray that over time whichever one gets hurt will heal and come back to their brother.”

“I understand Mrs. Basso.”  I shake my head up and down.

“Soon Maddy, please do it soon.  My family is on a tightrope and I am afraid it is going to snap soon and never be able to be repaired.”  Her blue eyes are dull with pain as she divulges her worst fears.

“I know, I promise.” I nod again slightly.

“Thank you.  See you tonight.”  She pats my knee leaving me on the bench.

I sit on that park bench for another fifteen minutes after Mrs. Basso walks away.  I now had two people in less than an hour tell me to make a decision already.   I stare at the family across the way.  The man bends over handing their little girl over to the mom kissing her on the lips before sliding next to her letting his arm fall behind her.  I am amazed at how at ease they are with each other.  Their love for each other is imminent.  I can’t help but smile at them appreciating their love for their family.

Would that have been Trent and I if things were different?  If I am honest with myself the answer is no.  After the taste of celebrity Trent has received the past couple years, I don’t think he is able to appreciate a simple life, where your success is your wife and family, where you want to come home at night.  Trent loves the spotlight, loves the clubs, the fancy restaurants and the nightlife of being a soccer celebrity.

Getting up letting the family finish enjoying their afternoon without prying eyes, I venture back to my house.  Relaying the conversations with Jack and Mrs. Basso, they are right I have to break one heart in order to let another come alive with mine.  I am not being fair leaving them both in the lurch.

Jack’s car is in the driveway of my mom’s house when I get there.  When I open the door I notice all the pictures are gone from the floor and I hear laughing in the kitchen.

Walking into the kitchen I find Ian unhappily chopping onions, my mom mixing some sort of salad, Mitch soaking the brats and Jack stocking the fridge with beverages.

“Hey Maddy, didn’t I leave you like an hour ago?”  Jack says shutting the fridge door handing me a water.

“Yeah, I ran into someone.”  My mom turns around giving me a knowing small smile then turning back around to her salad.

“Who may I ask?  One of the two suitors?”  Ian laughs.

“No, their mother.”  I respond opening my water bottle taking a sip.

“What did the ice queen want with the girl caught in the middle of her two precious boys?”  Ian wipes his eyes from cutting the onions.

“She just wanted to talk to me.”  I shrug my shoulders insinuating it was nothing more.   “Is the Bar-B-Que here tonight?”  Changing the subject.

“Yeah, our house is full of wedding stuff so I asked mom if we could have it here.”  Jack exclaims.  Another new trend, mom never entertained well at least not more than men she brought home from the bar.

“Well, I am going up to shower.”  I turn on my heels.

“Hey Maddy” Jack catches up to me in the hallway.

“What’s up?’  I ask.

“Tonight, Trent and Gabe will both be here.  I don’t want any trouble, Lindsey is so stressed out with the wedding and the next two days are only going to be worse.  Do you think you could stay away from both of them?  Just while all the guests are here.”  Jack looks so worried I can’t say no.

“Of course Jack.  I will make sure nothing happens.”

“Thanks.”  He squeezes my arm and goes back into the kitchen.

The party is in full swing by the time I make it downstairs.  All the bridesmaids are fawning over Lindsey in the living room drinking their fruity margaritas.  I smile as I walk by them, that’s the way it should be.  Lindsey should be the center of attention for the next three days.