I look over to Amanda, and I see her hands gripping the steering wheel; I can tell her mind is working on overdrive. She begins to open her mouth, I’m sure to begin the lecture, but I butt in before she can get a word in.

“All right, first, before you say anything, remember that you have an audience in this car and they are sponges; anything you say can and will be used against you at some point, and more than likely in public, so keep it appropriate.”

Amanda looks in the mirror again, and I turn my head around to peek into the backseat. “They are fine; they are totally zoned out,” she says. “Besides, they have no idea what we are talking about. Just keep your voice down and I’ll turn up the radio a little.”

I sigh and look out the passenger window before looking back to my sister, who I know means well, but needs to loosen the leash a little. “Amanda, I understand that you said you would step back and let whatever this is between Brooks and me progress. However, you’re my sister and I know you’re worried that I will still end up hurt. Honestly, I’m scared of the same thing, and I’m kind of freaking out a little bit. But I’m willing to venture down that road anyway, and you know why?”

She gives me a side glance and just shakes her head, keeping quiet to let me finish.

“Win or lose, I’m willing to give him another chance, because I’m tired of being afraid. I haven’t felt this happy and this content since Will. I haven’t felt anything but numb for the last year, Amanda, and I may end up with a broken heart, but if Brooks can make me feel something again, if he can bring me back to life, then I think it’s worth the heartache.”

Amanda takes a deep, calming breath and I reach out to grab her hand. “I know you just want to protect me, Manda; thank you for that. The thing is if losing Will taught me anything, it was that there are no guarantees in life, and I don’t want to regret a minute of it.”

Amanda squeezes my hand and smiles through her teary eyes; I’m beginning to struggle to keep my own from spilling over. “Okay,” she says.

She didn’t need to say more; I know Amanda wouldn’t be a silent spectator anymore, but would jump both feet in with me. If I stumble and face-plant, she will help me up and clean the dirt off me…then hunt Brooks down and drown him in the mud I fell in.

Pulling the visor down, Amanda checks her makeup in the mirror, wiping away any running mascara. She lets out a long sigh, and I know this particular topic is officially closed, thank goodness. “So tell me about the brother. If I’m going to spend the day with him, at least give me details.”

“I’ve never met him; they are half-brothers, and his name is Lakin, but that is all I know about him.”

“Lakin?” An obvious frown appears between her brows. “Brooks and Lakin…were his parents sailors or hippies, or something? What’s with the water theme?”

“I never thought of that,” I laugh. “Really, though, I know nothing about him. I’m assuming he’s nice since Brooks is bringing him along; I don’t even know what he looks like, but I would guess that he probably looks a lot like Brooks.”

A devilish grin flashes across her face.

“Oh, no!” I warn. “Don’t you even think about it; you go through men like bottles of water, and that will just make things awkward.”

“I do not!” she protests. “Besides, if he looks anything like Brooks, I wouldn’t mind taking a drink.”

“Whatever, Amanda. You and I both know that you have the most–” I stop and turn to the back seat before whispering, “the most ravenous nether region known to man. You chew men up and spit them out. Keep your hands to yourself on this one.”

She turns to me, noticeably trying to suppress a laugh, “Did you just say ravenous nether region?”

We both burst into laughter, drawing attention from our backseat audience just as we pull into the parking lot of the zoo. “We’re there!” both children shout.

We quickly get our tickets and make our way to the spot we are meeting the rest of our group, by the giraffes; they are Emma’s favorite. Brooks, Lakin, and Grace are already there waiting for us.

As we get closer, I give Lakin a once-over and yup, he’s cute; he’s nothing compared to Brooks, but he certainly can hold his own. I steal a glance at Amanda, and yeah, she likes what she sees. She’s fluffing her hair and adjusting her sundress; she looks like she is about to go in for the kill. So much for the hands-off policy I was going for back in the car. Amanda is on a Defcon 5 manhunt. Poor Lakin doesn’t have a chance.

Once Emma sees Grace, she grabs Blake’s hand and they race over to her. They all point at the giraffes and begin an intense discussion about what animals they want to see.

As soon as I reach Brooks, he pulls me into his arms and gives me a chaste kiss on the mouth. Pulling away, he has a huge grin on his face. “Hi,” he says.

I giggle—yes, I actually giggle. “Well, hi to you too.”

Amanda clears her throat to get our attention. I’m a little surprised that my tiger of a sister is even waiting for an introduction. Brooks tucks me into his side, and I begin the formalities.

“Brooks, you remember my sister, Amanda,” I say, and each gives a half-hearted smile and pathetic wave. The enthusiasm is just pouring from them. Maybe this was a bad idea.

Lakin smiles brightly at her, though, and grabs her hand to kiss her knuckles. “I’m Brooks’ younger brother Lakin. It’s lovely to meet you.”

Amanda tucks her gorgeous blonde hair behind her ear and gives him her best flirtatious smile. “It’s nice to meet you as well,” she says. Oh, Jesus, shoot me now. I give it ten minutes before they wander off from the group to enjoy their own animal-like behavior.

Before it goes any further, all three children interrupt their googly eyes.

“Amanda! Amanda! It’s time for snow cones!” Emma shouts as she starts tugging on Amanda’s dress.

“I heard you promise snow cones, Aunt Amanda, and I want a blue one,” Blake adds.

Amanda looks to me for help, clearly wanting to spend more time with Lakin and not her darling niece and nephew. I just raise my hand to her. “Hey, you did promise,” I tell her, offering no help at all.

She looks to Lakin, and then to Emma. “I’m not very hungry, munchkin, and we just got here; let’s check out some more animals and work up an appetite before we get snacks.”

Emma frowns and places her hands on her hips, clearly thinking over her next move in the snow cone negotiation process. “But on the way here, Momma said that you were hungry.”

“What? No she didn’t, sweetheart.”

“Oh yes, she did! You guys were talking about your Netherlands being hungry, and I think a snow cone will fix that.” Clearly, our vehicle audience had better hearing than we thought.

Everyone looks to me to interpret the four-year-old lingo, and I try my best to mutter through my best PG explanation. “Um, Manda, I clearly remember a conversation that included you being in need of something. I think our little sponge mixed up a few key pieces of information.”

When Amanda’s eyes go wide with her realization, I slowly nod at her. “I told you, no public filter, little sis.”

Amanda grabs Emma’s hand, her embarrassment showing all over her face. “Okay, kids, enough talking; it’s snow cone time. Lakin, would you like to help?”

“I would love to,” he tells her, and with that, the kids jump up and down and shout with excitement.

As they turn to walk towards the vendors, I hear Lakin tell her that he thinks it’s awesome that she speaks Dutch, and I absolutely lose it. I laugh so hard that my eyes begin to water; Amanda hears me and looks at me over her shoulder to throw her nastiest of looks at me. It only makes me howl louder, barely able to catch my breath.

“Okay, fill me in; what in the world is so funny?” Brooks asks, noticeably confused at the inside joke.