I tell him the story of her all-consuming loins and by the time we are at the picnic tables by the vendors, he too is doubled over laughing. Amanda, understanding our amusement, is shooting daggers at us.

“Oh, come on, sis that was funny. I tried to warn you.”

“Yeah, yeah. Thanks a bunch, Viv.”

“Seriously, Amanda, don’t worry about it. Grace does that kind of stuff to me all the time,” Brooks tells her.

“Well, a change of topic would be much appreciated,” she growls.

The kids finish their snow cones, and we continue our exploration of the zoo with just as much laughter, but with fewer embarrassing filter moments. Any time the kids have their heads turned, Brooks holds my hand or kisses my forehead or cheek. I swear my body is on fire by the time our zoo trip is over. My stomach quivers from the constant butterflies, and my cheeks hurt from smiling so much. This day has been perfect.

We still haven’t told the kids that we are anything more than friends; it is less confusing for them, and we feel it’s best to keep our relationship to ourselves for a while. To be honest, I’m scared at what their reaction will be. There are times when I feel like I’m betraying Will’s memory by caring for Brooks, and my heart would break if Emma and Blake felt the same way. So for now, while we figure this out, our silence is golden.

Within a few hours, the kids are exhausted and our feet are sore from toting them around when their legs get tired.

I settle Blake and Emma into the car, and Lakin takes Grace to get buckled so that Brooks and I can say goodbye alone. “Thank you for today,” I tell him.

He tangles our hands together and pulls me to him. “No, thank you, Viv. This has been the best day I’ve had in a long time. Any day that has you in it is perfect.”

I smile up at him, and he leans down to kiss my forehead. “When can I see you again?”

I step back a little, but keep our hands connected. I desperately want to see him again, but I’ve been down this too-fast-too-soon road with Brooks before, and it got me shattered. I need to remember to keep myself guarded, because it’s too easy to lose myself in him. “Um, I’m not sure what we have going on this week. Let me check the kids’ schedules and I’ll text you,” I say, avoiding his gaze.

He releases one of my hands and lifts my chin, forcing me to meet his eyes. “Don’t do that, Red.”

“What?”

“You know what. You want to see me just as much as I want to see you, but you’re scared. I get that, but you need to understand that I’m not the same kid that you met ten years ago who was afraid of who he was, and was embarrassed of his past. I’m a man who knows what he wants, and I’ll spend every day for the rest of my life proving that you are what I want.”

I exhale the breath that I am holding and nod. A million thoughts are racing through my mind, but I can’t force any words to move past my lips.

“I’m not going anywhere; I’m not running this time. Please give me the chance to hang onto you.”

I step forward and move onto my tiptoes to reach his lips. “Okay,” I whisper against his lips. It’s his turn to let out the sigh he was holding, waiting for my answer. “Call me tonight after Grace is in bed.”

He smashes me to his chest and moves his hands to my hair. His lips meet mine, and he deepens the kiss, sending my dormant butterflies back into overdrive. He pulls back, smiling down at me with a mega-watt grin, showcasing his swoon-worthy dimples. “You bet your ass I’ll call you, Clover,” he says before he kisses my hand and walks away like he hadn’t left me with swollen lips, weak knees, and soaking panties. Great, the car ride home will be just as uncomfortable as the ride here.

Vivian

Brooks follows through on his promise to call. He calls, texts, or stops by every day for the next week. Grace has been over to play a few times, and everyone is beginning to feel comfortable with each other. So when Blake suggests a group dinner and movie slumber party with Brooks and Grace, we see it as a great opportunity to introduce the kids to our relationship.

Jen and Carly, of course, see this as an opportunity for an adult slumber party. I had thrown out all of the lingerie that I owned after Will died. I know it seems silly, but it feels wrong to wear any of it for another man. Needless to say, Jen took me underwear shopping in preparation for our sleepover. I’m not sure my Visa will ever recover.

Armed with our overnight bags and enough movie options to last until the end of time, Emma, Blake, and I make the short trip to Brooks’ for our weekend adventure. His house is somewhat secluded in the foothills of the Rockies, just a twenty-minute drive from our house in the suburbs of Denver.

We creep our way up the long, winding driveway, which is more like a gravel path. A luscious mixture of aspens and evergreens line the pathway on both sides, blocking our view of his actual home. The road begins to widen, exposing the largest, most beautiful log cabin, and I peer into the backseat to see both of my children’s mouths hanging wide open. The house is not a simple family home; it should be showcased in the Parade of Homes or Architectural Digest. The two-story behemoth features a green roof with thick solid pine logs wrapping the exterior. It looks like Lincoln Logs on steroids.

I park the car in front of the entrance, and we all sit idly in wonder of the mansion before us. “Is this really Brooks’ house?” Blake asks, his eyes still bulging out of his little head.

I slowly nod, still staring forward, “Yup, buddy, it is.”

“Wow, it’s like a wooden castle,” Emma adds.

“All right, guys, it’s just a house. We are going to have a ton of fun this weekend. Let’s go find Brooks and Grace, and please remember to be polite. No fighting this weekend, okay?”

They both agree, and we all tumble out of the car and begin lugging our bags up the stone pathway to the front door. Before we even reach the porch steps, Brooks barrels through the front door and rushes down the stairs to grab our bags; his excitement is evident in his haste as he nearly trips on the flagstone.

I hear Blake laugh, but I turn around to shoot him my best mom-glare, and he suppresses his chuckle. Emma lightly punches him in the arm, emphasizing the tone of our silent family conversation. I turn the stare her way, and she throws her hands up in surrender just as Brooks reaches us.

“Hey, you guys. I’m glad you could make it,” he says as he takes the bags out of my hands and kisses my cheek.

“Thank you for having us,” Blake responds as he hands Brooks his bag.

Brooks reaches for Emma’s bag as well, but she refuses to hand over her backpack; she hasn’t let the thing out of her sight since we got it at Target. “Where’s Grace?” she asks.

“She is with Katie, my babysitter. They were out running errands when I got home, but they should be here anytime,” he answers as he throws everything over his shoulder. He leads us up the walkway. We enter the foyer and he immediately leads us upstairs to a long hallway with a string of doors on either side.

Brooks looks completely relaxed in his faded, scuffed-up blue jeans and soft cotton tee. Instead of the shrewd, polished architect, he is loosened up and carefree, just like I remember from college. His broad shoulders and toned muscles are at war with the thin, tight shirt he has selected. I can see every bit of his definition, and it’s a gorgeous sight to behold. As the slapping of his sandals smack against the wood flooring, I begin to pull my eyes away from Brooks’ body and take in our surroundings.

The décor throughout the house is very masculine; the color pallet a mixture of light greys and cobalt blue. It’s certainly not what I would have expected in a log home, but it works and feels like Brooks. While there are pictures of Grace everywhere, the family pictures stop with her. There are none of his mother, or brother, or even friends–nothing, just him and Grace.