I felt the familiar ache in my chest, and ignored it the same way I’d been forced to when Reid had started to distance himself. It wasn’t all Stella’s fault though. It was mine too and part of my problem was coping with the guilt it made me feel.

“I don’t think it can be fixed,” – I tried, but only ended up making things worse – “but I’m getting over it. I’m happy if Reid is happy.”

I could tell Kennedy didn’t believe the ‘I’m getting over it’ part, and sadly I didn’t either. He’d been part of my life from the moment we were born, and I felt his absence. Every. Damn. Day. But he’d moved on, and I had to live with it.

“You know he’s not happy, Jade. He misses you. I have no idea what he sees in that girl. She’s nothing but a glorified dancing Hobbit.”

I laughed, picturing a hobbit in a tutu, and rested my head against Kennedy’s. “You only hate her because she’s bff’s with Amy.”

“And because she’s pretty much told Reid he’s to have nothing to do with you, and he actually listens to her.”

Yeah, I didn’t want to talk about them anymore.

I patted Kennedy’s arm, and made an effort to smile at her. “Go and enjoy your dinner, and if you and Dane come back here, make sure you keep the noise down.”

She blushed, and let out a giggle. “I’ll make sure we go to his place if we wanna...you know.”

“Good idea,” I laughed. “Maybe you and Stella can have a screaming competition.”

Kennedy scrunched her nose. “Ew. I don’t want to know what a hobbit sounds like having sex. But I think we’ll come home afterwards anyway, our flight is quiet early.”

I nodded, and placed my luggage on the floor at the foot of my bed. “I was just kidding. I’ll probably be passed out cold when you guys get back.”

Kennedy started walking backwards towards my door, and said, “Call me if you need me, okay?”

“I will.”

Kennedy left, and my smile slipped. I was feeling a little raw inside, thinking about Reid and how much I pined for him. There was only one way I could forget about it long enough expel the feelings burning in my chest.

I took my sketchpad from my desk, and started drawing.

I’D JUST MANAGED to fall asleep when I heard my bedroom door opening. It was just past midnight, and I wondered why Kennedy would be checking in on me at this time. Only it wasn’t Kennedy.

His scent gave him away.

He was wearing the Dolce & Gabanna Light Blue cologne that I’d bought him for Christmas last year. It was all he seemed to wear and I both loved and hated it.

The bed dipped under his bulky form, and I twisted to switch on my bedside lamp.

“Reid?”

His green eyes were watching me – green eyes that showed nothing, hid everything, and still managed to pierce me to the very depths of my soul.

“What are you doing here?” I asked. I sat up, holding my comforter to my chest like armor.

“Kennedy said you weren’t feeling well,” he replied, rubbing his hands over his rather tired looking face. A face I’d never been able to envision my future without. “I wanted to come and make sure you were okay.”

He was wearing dark jeans, with a thick jacket to ward of the winter temperatures, and his favorite black boots. With disheveled blond hair, and a slight scruff on his jaw, he looked every bit the sexy football player he was.

But I couldn’t say that.

His concern came of no surprise, his need to stop by, however, did. “I’m fine.” There was that pesky fucking word again.

Fine.

I was not fine.

I was anything but fun.

I yawned, and covered it with my mouth.

“Does Stella know you’re here?”

Reid sighed, and pulled his hands through his hair. He looked frustrated. Exasperated even. “Yeah. We had a fight about it.”

“Of course you did,” I said flatly. “But what I don’t understand is that if you knew coming to check on me would upset her, then why’d you come?”

Hurt flitted across his rugged features, and I looked away. I couldn’t deal with seeing him hurt, not while I was still nursing my own wounds.

“Because you’re my best friend, Jade,” he replied simply.

It was anything but simple.

“Well there’s no need for you to check up on me if your girlfriend doesn’t like it. I don’t want to be the source of anymore conflict between the two of you.”

Reid flinched at my clipped tone and his shoulders slumped in what I could only assume was defeat.

“I don’t care what she says,” he replied quietly. “If I want to check on you then I damn well can, and I will.”

“Is that why you’ve stayed away from me since you started dating her?” I shot back. I wanted to blame him for some of what had happened between us, even though I knew I had no right to.

Our gazes collided, my brown to his green, and I saw his eyes flash with a hint of anger.

“You’re just as guilty, Jade. You won’t even meet my eyes when we’re in the same room.”

“You’re right,” I swallowed. “You’ll have to forgive me for being unable to stomach the sight of you with someone else when it should be me.”

His face fell, matching my own sad expression. “You didn’t want us to be together, and I’m just trying to honor that.”

“By being with Stella.”

“By trying like hell to move on.”

That stung, but I refused to let him see it. I was only allowed to fall apart on the inside, never the outside. “Right.”

The silence, so thick, and cold, cloaked us, and as much as I wanted to hash it all out with him, I knew it was too late for our friendship. I’d done a bang up job of fucking it up by asking him to sleep with me when we were in Barcelona for my grandmothers’ funeral last November, and again when I miraculously fell into his bed again right before finals in December. He’d wanted us to step outside of our friendship, and make it more, but I couldn’t give it to him. I was too afraid of losing our friendship, and in the end I’d lost it anyway. Now he had someone else, and I had no one. But what hurt more than any of that was that I no longer had Reid.

“You’ve checked on me,” I said, looking away. “You can leave now, before Stella comes looking for you.”

I switched my bedside lamp off, and curled back under the covers, not caring that he was still there or sitting in the dark.

I wanted us to go back to the way things were.

I wanted my Reid back.

If only I weren’t too stubborn to tell him.

Chapter 2

Jade

Cabo

The hotel we were staying in was gorgeous, and swarming with college students on their Spring Break vacation. Our plane had landed a few hours ago, and we’d been checked in before deciding to roam around. The building itself looked incredible, and the resort boasted a stunning view of the horizon with crystal blue swimming pools, a private beach, and luxury suites. I’d opted for a two-bedroom suite, and was happy to find out that my friend Grady was sharing with me.

“I’m going down to the bar,” said Grady. “You want to join me?”

His sandy blond hair was perfectly styled to the side, and he was wearing jean shorts, cut off at the knee, and a white polo shirt with a light blue sweater draped over his shoulders. He was gorgeous - and very gay.

“That’s okay,” I replied. “I’m going to take a walk on the beach. I’ll catch up with you later.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah. I want to put my feet in the water before nightfall.”

“Okay, my tootsie roll,” – he kissed my forehead – “See you at dinner?”

I smiled. “I’ll be there.”

He left, and as soon as the door clicked shut, I dropped onto the plush queen-sized bed and felt my body finally start to relax. I’d been tossing and turning all night after my talk with Reid, and hadn’t been able to let go of my restlessness until we’d arrived at our resort. I might’ve not been looking forward to spending my week with couples – gag – but I had to admit it felt nice to get away.