Claudia pushed Beck away, her eyes bright, her tan complexion tinged with a flush.

Stunned by this development, I stammered out an apology for interrupting.

My best friend shook her head frantically. “You’re not interrupting anything.” She brushed past Beck who grabbed her wrist to stall her. Claudia tugged out of his hold, glowering at him. His eyes narrowed and he turned away, staring at the wall, the muscle in his jaw flexing.

Claudia gave me a look that screamed, “Don’t you dare ask,” and rushed out the door behind me.

Well, this was uncomfortable.

I watched Beck as he blew out air between his lips and hung his head.

Sympathy opened my mouth. “Beck.”

He looked at me over his shoulder, appearing so disheartened I actually forgot my own woes for a moment.

“Be patient,” I told him. “Keep doing what you’re doing. Claudia just needs to know that she can piss you off, try your patience and drive you a little crazy, and you’ll still be there at the end of the day.”

Something in his eyes flickered, something a little like hope. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

His face darkened. “But the TA?”

“She’s not in love with him.” I shrugged and took a step toward the door. “Why do you think she’s so scared of you?”

“You shouldn’t really be telling me this stuff, should you?”

“No. If Claudia finds out, I’m on her shit list, so I’m taking a risk.”

Beck laughed softly. “Well, I appreciate it.”

I smiled back at him and turned around to resume my search for the bathroom, still a little stunned. I shouldn’t have been surprised to walk in on Claudia and Beck making out, and I guess I wasn’t. The truth was it wasn’t the fact that they’d kissed that had me reeling—it was the kiss itself. It wasn’t just the kiss of two people who were attracted to one another; it was the kiss of two people who needed one another. There was desperation in it, a longing so intense, it had been palpable to even me.

It was the kind of kiss I’d once shared with Jake.

Feeling even lower than I had been before, I walked down the hall, wondering if the bathroom was perhaps right, rather than left.

I was approaching an open dorm room door when two familiar voices made me stop in my tracks.

“I’m trying to tell you that you’re fucking up,” I heard Lowe snap.

“I know what I’m doing,” Jake replied, sounding irritated.

Curious, and yes, hoping to overhear my name, I pressed back against the wall and held my breath.

“Jake, I’m confused. I thought you got me to throw this thing, invite her here, so you could talk to her, patch things up. Who the fuck is the redhead?”

My mouth dropped open. They’d orchestrated this party just to get me here? What? Since when did Jake and Lowe work together on anything… especially something involving me?

“The redhead doesn’t matter. The whole point of tonight was to get Charley and me in the same room and show her what life is going to be like for us if we’re not together. Practically strangers at a party. I know Charley. She’s hating this as much as I am. We’re possessive of each other. We need to be in each other’s lives, know what’s going on with each other. Sooner, rather than later, she’s going to realize what a mistake this is. But not if she’s three hours away. It was only when we started hanging out again in Edinburgh that not being together was too hard.”

He was… manipulating me?

I just stopped myself from gasping out loud.

Jake wasn’t over me. This wasn’t… what the hell was this?

“I hate to tell you this but your plan is backfiring. She thinks you’ve moved on so she’s moving on. She thinks this proves that she was right to break up with you.”

“What? What are you talking about?”

I’d done a lot of cowardly things these last few months, but walking away from this wasn’t going to be one of them. Nobody, nobody manipulated me, and got away with it!

With anger burning in my blood, I stormed into the dorm room Jake and Lowe had chosen to have their little tête-a-tête. They both blanched when they turned to see who was interrupting them.

My eyes must have registered my feelings of betrayal when they met Lowe’s because he flinched. “Charley, it’s not—”

“Since when do you align yourself with him?” I snapped, gesturing to Jake. “You got together to manipulate me? Are you high?”

He shrugged helplessly. “I was trying to help two friends out. I wasn’t trying to hurt you.” Lowe shook his head, looking between Jake and me. “It was a mistake to get involved and I’m now uninvolving myself.” He was still shaking his head as he walked past, not meeting my fiery gaze.

As soon as he was gone, Jake took a step toward me, holding up his hands in placation. “Don’t be pissed. I was just trying to fix us.”

“No.” I stepped back. “You were playing games, and I thought we were done with that.”

“Charley,” he stared at me, looking incredulous, “did you honestly just expect me to give up, walk away, after everything? I didn’t know what else to do. You wouldn’t have come here if I said I just wanted to hang out, talk, try to actually work out our problems instead of running from them. You’re the one acting like a child here. I just picked up where you left off.”

I couldn’t actually dispute any of that, which made me even more pissed, hurt, defensive, scared and… confused.

I started to shiver. “I… I can’t do this.” I turned away.

I hadn’t taken two steps when I felt his hand wrap around my wrist. Jake tugged me, forcefully, pulling me around so I stumbled into his chest. His lips crashed down on mine, his kiss hungry, desperate, angry…

For a moment I forgot everything else but the hard pressure of his mouth on mine, the smell of his cologne, the feel of his body. I was surrounded.

Drowning.

And I let it happen.

His lips moved from my mouth to my chin, along my jaw, as his hand slid up my waist, his thumb just grazing my breast. I sighed, my body arching into his. I was hot. Hot and wanting. Nothing else mattered but the way I felt when he touched me.

His voice was ragged in my ear. “I’ve missed you so much. I love you so fucking much.” He squeezed my waist and pulled me closer, his mouth reaching for mine again but those three little words had broken through the spell of lust created by Jake’s proximity and the four beers I’d had.

“Stop,” I whispered, pushing gently on his chest.

Instead of stopping, Jake kissed me again.

I pushed harder, breaking contact. “Jake, stop!”

He stumbled back, frustration and something else in his face. Panic? “Charley—”

“No.” I moved away from him, holding a hand out to ward him off. “This was a mistake. We’re…” I trailed off, not really knowing what to say as I tried to catch my breath.

We stared at each other in tense silence.

That’s when I came to the hardest decision of my life.

I felt like someone had stuck burning needles into every muscle in my body, and all I could feel was torturous pain, and I didn’t know why it was necessary. What point it had? Why it had to be that way? I started to imagine that perhaps those needles were my family, and horribly in that moment I resented the hell out of them. “We’re done for good. We can’t be friends and we can’t be this. Lose my number, Jake.”

He looked grief-stricken. “You can’t be serious?”

The tears slipped down my cheeks now and I brushed them hastily away. “Deadly. I won’t answer if you call.”

“Why?” he shook his head, his own resentment building his gorgeous eyes. “Just tell me why. A real answer this time.”

“I told you why. You didn’t listen.”

And just like that, I turned and walked out.

It was hard to make sense of something to someone else when you had a hard time figuring out if it really made sense to yourself. But I wasn’t crazy.

The truth was I’d made a promise. This was me keeping it.