Without permission, we kissed. There were a few moments in that kiss where I lost track of where we were. His lips were so gentle but determined. When he finally broke away, he said, “I love you,” as if it were the first time he had said it.

I smiled. “I love you, too.” In that moment, I finally became aware of the guests as they started to clap. My sister Skylar hit the first note on the piano, which cued us to walk back down the aisle and toward the tent. We walked hand in hand, saying hi to everyone and smiling. There was thrilling energy running between me and Jamie.

Our reception was intimate and romantic. The tent was lined with white lights. Each of the long farmhouse tables had sunflowers and other wildflowers in vases running down the center. The food was impeccable, of course, thanks to Chef Mark, who had hired the best. I left the entertainment up to Jamie, so I was a little surprised that I didn’t see a DJ set up. Skylar played to us through dinner, and then just before it was time to cut the cake, I turned to Jamie. “What’s the entertainment?”

With no trace of humor, he said, “Karaoke, of course.”

“You’re kidding?” I was actually a little peeved.

“I am kidding. I wouldn’t do that to you. The entertainment is my wedding gift, and it’s a surprise.” He smirked.

“Oh, I’ll give you your gift later.” I winked.

“You better. We have to consummate this marriage, you know.”

“Oh, I think we’ve covered that.”

He frowned. “You mean we’re not going to . . . on our wedding night?”

“We can, but that’s not my gift to you.”

“You’re gonna make me crazy thinking about it.”

After we cut the cake, I noticed someone began setting up instruments on a little stage at the end of the tent.

Two people took the stage, and as I got closer I recognized that it was Mia and Will Ryan, a musician couple that I had been following for a few years. They had their two young sons sitting at the front of the stage, their little legs dangling over the edge. One held a tambourine and the other had some sort of shaker. Will spoke into the microphone.

“Good evening. My family and I are honored to be a part of this day.” He spoke confidently and clearly as he made eye contact with Jamie and me. Mia gazed over at him with the most tranquil and loving smile. “To exist in each other’s souls so strongly that you are bound without a physical tie is the greatest mark of love, and Jamie and Kate are lucky enough to be blessed with it.” He held up a champagne glass, as did the rest of the guests. “May your heaven be here on earth with each other always. To Jamie and Kate!”

The whole group yelled, “To Jamie and Kate!” and clinked their glasses along with us. We kissed and then Mia took to the piano and Will picked up his guitar and they immediately went into an original upbeat song. Someone else played the bongos and another musician played the stand-up bass. The little boys played their instruments at the front of the stage as if they had done it a million times. It was a true family affair. Jamie took me in his arms, spun me around, dipped me, and then kissed me very seriously.

“What do you think?” he said after catching his breath.

“I am truly amazed. What did you have to pay to get them here?”

“They were on the West Coast and needed very little convincing. They’re genuinely good people.”

“Well, this is amazing.”

He stared down at me, mesmerized. “I like this,” he said, pointing to the wreath that held my veil. “Truly, my angel, aren’t you?”

“I’ll be whatever you want me to be, Jamie Lawson. I am so in love with you.”

After Mia and Will wrapped up their set, we said our good-byes to them and then to the rest of the guests. Jamie seemed very eager to get back to our little house in the barn.

We walked hand in hand through the dark vineyard until we reached the single light outside the door to our home.

“Here we go,” he said as he swooped me up in his arms. Once inside, he kissed me near our bed, a very tender and loving kiss. He took my veil off and set it aside while he kicked his own shoes off. He unzipped my dress slowly and cautiously. I wore a white silk and lace slip underneath. “Wow, this is even better than the black.” I helped him remove his clothes and then I marveled at Jamie in all of his naked glory. There was one warm, soft light silhouetting him and shining on me. I traced his broad shoulders and defined arms. He kissed me on the mouth and traveled down until he was kissing me through the silk, down my side to my hip.

“Jamie?” I said quietly.

He was on his knees at that point as I stood in front of him. His hands traveled up the back of my legs and slowly pulled my lace panties down. Between kisses through the silk, he said, “Yes, what is it?”

“I want to tell you about your gift.”

He still had not looked up at me. He pushed me to sit on the edge of the bed and then began kissing a trail up my inner thigh. “Okay, tell me, baby,” he whispered.

“You’re going to be a father.”

He stopped kissing and looked up at me. There was so much love in his expression. I wished that I could bottle it. “Really?” Tears quickly filled his eyes.

I smiled and began crying myself. “Yes. We’re going to have a baby.”

He stood up, reached for the hem of my slip, and pulled it over my head, then he moved us up onto the bed together. He kissed everywhere and then stopped near my stomach and spoke quietly. “I loved you before you existed, and I’ll love you after I’m gone.” I felt a tear hit my belly. He kissed it away and then looked up at me. “Thank you. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.”

“Me, too,” I whispered.

Jamie

Whispers, that’s what she calls them. They’re signs, small sounds, or little reminders, letting you know that there’s something bigger than us out there. That there’s a force working hard to make things right in the universe. That’s what she says, anyway. The whispers came to her in a dream. She believed that her fate was predetermined and that she had to follow these whispers or listen to what some grand power told her to do.

I’ve never said it to her, but I know the dream was a manifestation of something that was alive in Katy from the beginning. It came from her. It’s the desire we all have in us to love and be loved. It’s what lets us get our hearts broken over and over again. Maybe the force she talks about is a collective energy put out by the whole of humanity that simply says: love each other, fight for each other, take care of each other. I know I fought it out of fear, just like her. I needed to feel a force so strong that I couldn’t fight back. The pull toward her was like our own world existed around us, spinning so hard that the gravity forced us to the center, to each other, into each other’s arms, into each other’s souls.

Katy exists in my soul now, and she can’t be taken out. If there were whispers happening in my life, then they were loud and clear. Mine were shouts that came barreling at me in a tiny Toyota rental car. It crashed into me with the force of a thousand suns and never stopped crashing, over and over again. She still hasn’t stopped crashing into me.

I know that now, as I watch her from across a field of vines. She takes my breath away. She’s holding our baby girl, Charlotte, looking up to the sky and soaking in the sun. Every day they are both more beautiful than the last. I stand here for several moments, watching her in her white sundress. Charlotte’s in white, too, and I realize that heaven does exist on earth. The wind hits the back of my neck, pushing me gently in their direction. She spots me and smiles serenely as she bounces our baby girl. When I reach them, I take Charlotte in my arms. She coos between little belly laughs.

“Someday you’re going to break my heart, little girl, do you know that?” Her little smile literally makes my heart skip a beat. “It will all be worth it.”