Me: I know, love. I just wanted to make you smile.

Kayden: You did, incredibly large.

Me: It’s a good day for you to get it. I know you had a shitty day at work.

Kayden: I love you so much.

My body grew warm and tingly. I could never get sick of seeing or hearing those words from Kayden.

Me: I love you, too. I want to make you smile every day. You work hard, and we are so far away. There will be more, mostly silly stuff. Now, stop smelling me. Get your shit done so I can see you on Skype… I’ve waited all day.

Kayden: I’m going to put the Kleenex in my pillowcase. I want to smell you as I drift off to sleep.

I made sure to send as many packages and cards as possible. I wanted him to know that I was always thinking of him. I wanted him to know that he was loved and thought about… even if I couldn’t be with him; he was always with me in my heart.

Laughter is the Spice of Life

Sophia brought so much joy into my life in such a short amount of time. I didn’t want to do anything to lose her. I always find a way to fuck things up. There’s still so much I needed to share with her, things she didn’t know about my past. They’re important details that made me into the person I am today. I had to find the right time to share everything with her, but would there ever be a perfect time?

She sent cards and packages a couple times a week. They gave me something to look forward to after a grueling work day. I filled my pillowcase with the Kleenex she sent me. I wanted to wrap myself in all things Sophia.

There were things I’d already shared with her that I regret. I never would have told her about the women I’ve fucked, the manner in which I handled those relationships, mostly my callousness when it came to love. I never thought we would meet, let alone fall in love with her. She didn’t seem to hold any of it against me. I was thankful that she was forgiving or forgetful.

She made me want to be a better man; I wanted her to be proud of me. I would be the man she deserved and always wanted. She was the most unique woman I have ever known. She had a knack for always making me laugh; even on hard days she found ways to make me laugh.

Me: Hey, beautiful. Can you send me a picture of the two of us?

Sophia: Sure, give me a second to find one on my phone.

Me: Thanks, baby doll. I want something to remind me of our time together. I have plenty of pictures of just you, but I want some of us.

She sent one from our first evening together sitting on steps of a building on Bourbon Street. We both wore goofy grins and had drinks in our hands. A smile crept across my lips remembering the evening.

Sophia: Here’s one of us in the French Quarter.

Me: We have to take more next time we’re together.

Sophia: Yes, I don’t have a ton. We always get wrapped up in other things. We’ll definitely take more next time we’re together.

Me: I need one to put on my nightstand.

Sophia: Just remind me please. Time just seems to go so fast.

The photo popped up on my screen. The glow of the street lights bounced off my shiny head.

Me: Wow. My head is shiny in that picture.

Sophia: I love how smooth it is—and love running my fingertips across it. It’s why I have to wear my sunglasses all the time when I’m with you … the glare kills my eyes.

Me: Smart ass.

I wanted to tickle her, bring her to tears.

Sophia: I read cataracts are caused by head glare, or is it sunshine?

Me: LMAO. Then you’re totally fucked.

Sophia: I know, because I plan to look at that shiny head for a lifetime.

Me: Most people would be insulted, but I know my head is fucking sexy.

I loved her most for her brains, her wit lightning fast. I longed to be with her. I needed to book my ticket to Florida, I couldn’t wait any longer.

Mother Nature: The Bitch

Me: Have you watched the weather forecast at all today?

Kayden: I’ve heard people talking about a hurricane. Is it going to hit New Orleans? I thought it was going to make landfall in Texas.

Me: They’ve changed the location. They’re predicting NOLA now, and it’s supposed to hit the day you’re scheduled to fly out.

Kayden: Fucking unbelievable, I swear I have a black cloud following me around.

Me: You may have to postpone your trip.

I chewed my nails thinking about him being stuck in NOLA during a hurricane. Would I know is he was ok? Visions of Hurricane Katrina filled my mind and made my stomach queasy.

Kayden: I’m not staying in the city if a hurricane is coming. I’ll see if I can cancel my ticket. If one is going to hit they’ll close down the office anyways.

Me: When will you know about work?

Kayden: By morning I’ll know what’s going on.

The storm track never wavered, landfall would be New Orleans. Kayden cancelled his airplane ticket; deciding to drive to get out of the path and to see me.

“I’m getting ready to leave now, babe,” Kayden said over the phone.

“It’s already five here, you worked all day, and it’s a long drive. Are you going to be okay?” I asked.

“I’ll be fine. I have a cooler filled with energy drinks, a bag of candy, and music to keep me awake. Knowing I’ll be with you in a couple of hours will keep me awake.”

“Just drive slowly for God’s sake. I’ll be here waiting, no need to rush.”

“I’ll drive like I always do. I’ll be there in about nine hours.”

“That’s what worries me. Be safe love, I just want you in one piece,” I said, sighing into the phone.

“I’ll text you in a little while and keep you updated on where I am. I love you.”

“I love you, too, Kayden.” I tapped the end button on my phone.

I needed to make myself busy while he drove. I knew he’d be careful, but the radar showed pockets of rain along the Gulf Coast and it would be dark soon. I cleaned my bedroom, straightened up the house, and showered. His text messages were sparse, each one giving me solace.

Kayden: I just crossed the Florida line and stopped for gas.

Me: Not much longer now. I’m tired, how are you going to stay awake?

Kayden: I’m wide awake, babe. Knowing you’re my reward at the end keeps me awake. Lie down for a bit, I’ll text you when I’m close.

Me: I’ll set my alarm in case I fall asleep. I want to be awake when you get here, but I’m reading right now.

My eyes stung and grew heavy with each passing minute until I drifted off to sleep.

I blink a few times to clear the haze that formed on my contacts as I grabbed my phone. Fuck, my alarm never went off.

Kayden: Forty miles away, paying a toll now.

Me: Which station?

Kayden: I have no idea; just know I’m forty miles from you.

My heart pounded in my chest. I had to get out of this bed. I wanted to be outside when he pulled in. I brushed my teeth, covered the dark circles that formed under my eyes and headed outside, book in hand.

It was after one a.m. and the stillness filled the air. The stars twinkled above as the moon illuminated my surrounding. Sitting on the front step, I opened my book, but I couldn’t process the words.