“That explains it,” I mumbled out loud. Her words made sense and it helped me realize something else.

“Explains what?”

I looked at her sheepishly and felt a tinge of guilt of what I was thinking. “Can I tell you something?”

A smile curled onto Anna’s lip as she eyed me suspiciously. “I know that look.” She leaned toward me and giggled. “What is it that you haven’t told me?”

I laughed as I was again reminded of how well Anna knew me. “Well…what you said earlier about how I was passionate about living life and doing things that scared me…well the day I got out of the hospital, I bumped into this guy…”

“Oh.” I could tell this was the last thing she expected me to say.

“Well he was cocky, confident, and way too forward with me. At first he didn’t even seem to care when I said I was engaged.”

“So what happened?” Anna’s face lit up with a mixture of excitement and surprise.

I told Anna about my encounters with Ethan, feeling a sense of relief that I was telling someone about this mystery man that Connor didn’t know about.

“So have you talked to him since the night he helped you look for Scooter?”

I shook my head. “No. He texted a few times to check to see if everything was okay, but besides texting him back to let him know that Scooter was home and safe, I’d been avoiding him.” I paused, feeling guilty about what I was about to admit. “I’ve been trying to distance myself from him, but—”

“But you can’t seem to get him out of your mind?” Anna finished my sentence with a glimmer of excitement in her eyes.

“God, I’m an awful person, Anna. How can I be thinking of another man when I have Connor? He’s been so understanding and patient. Not only am I not letting him touch me, I’m secretly thinking about someone else. Who does that?” I bury my face in my hands in shame.

“Liv, you’re not an awful person.” Her voice was soft and compassionate as she gently rubbed my shoulder to console me. “Maybe you’re just confused about your feelings. I mean, I can’t imagine how it feels to wake up one day being engaged to someone you can’t remember and have people tell you that you loved him when you don’t have those feelings. That has to be a lot of pressure.”

“Thanks,” I said gratefully.

“For what?” She gave me a small smile.

“For listening to me without passing judgment; for being so supportive and understanding.”

“Liv, I love you, sweetie. You may not remember everything about our friendship, but you’re like the sister I never had, and I’m pretty sure you felt the same way.” She grinned at me widely as she boasted about our friendship.

I smiled, feeling thankful to have a friend as supportive as she was.

“I know things will work out the way they should. At the end of the day, do what feels right to you, and I’ll be behind you the entire way.”

“Thanks, Anna. I think I really needed to hear that. I’ve been so confused lately with what I’m feeling versus what I should be feeling, and it’s been making me question everything about myself and how much I’ve changed.”

“Liv, there may be things you don’t remember, but at the very core of who you are, you haven’t changed one bit.” She reached for my hand and squeezed it reassuringly. “You are still the same caring, selfless, and loyal person.”

“You think so?”

“I know so.” She beamed at me. “So what do you think you’re going to do?”

I took a big sip from my Bloody Mary and thought about her question. “Connor’s an amazing man. I’m not giving up on us. I think you’re totally right. I do feel a lot of pressure with my relationship with Connor. To me, he still feels like a stranger, and he’s been so busy with work, I haven’t really had much of a chance to really get to know him. But I know he loves me, and I loved him too. And the idea of not being able to feel those same intense feelings for him scares me. Ethan’s a lot of fun, but maybe he’s just a distraction or an excuse to run from my feelings for Connor simply because I’m scared to confront them.”

“That makes sense.” She flashed me a sympathetic smile.

“So I need to just focus on my relationship with Connor. It’s hard enough as it is trying to figure out my feelings for Connor, I really don’t need to add Ethan to the mix.”

“That’s probably a good idea.” She raised her nearly-empty glass of Bloody Mary in the air in front of us. “A toast! To your birthday! I hope you have a blast spending it with the love of your life.”

“I’ll drink to that.” I grinned and raised my glass to hers.

“Speaking of which, what is Connor doing for your birthday tomorrow that forced us to celebrate your birthday a day early?”

“We’re going to Milburn Orchard and then a romantic dinner at some restaurant he picked out.”

“Oh that sounds like so much fun! I love going apple picking there. Sounds like Connor has a nice birthday planned out for you.”

Anna’s excitement was contagious and as she began to tell me all about her last trip to Milburn Orchard, I smiled and realized how much fun tomorrow will be. By the end of brunch, I felt less confused and more hopeful about my relationship with Connor. Anna’s right. Things will work the way they should.

***

It wasn’t until I got home later that afternoon that I noticed I’d missed a few calls and a voicemail from Connor. I checked the voicemail.

“Hey, babe. I’m jumping into another meeting but wanted to give you a call before I did. So it looks like I can’t make it back tonight as planned. We still have some loose ends we need to tie up before we finalize this deal. I’m so sorry this has been taking so much longer than I had thought. But don’t worry about tomorrow. I promise I’ll be there. I’ll be on the earliest Acela Express Amtrak train back from New York City in the morning and will probably be home before you’re even up. I can’t wait to do some apple picking with you! I’ll see you tomorrow, Birthday Girl. I love you.”

By the time I got to the end of Connor’s voicemail, some of the hopefulness I’d felt from my day with Anna had evaporated. In its place was this ominous feeling that tomorrow won’t go as planned. When Connor left for New York City several mornings ago, he said he was only going to be gone for a day. But by that evening, he had called to tell me that he had to stay another day. This had happened for the previous three evenings, and it had happened again this afternoon. As much as I didn’t want to believe it, I was beginning to feel as if in Connor’s world, his company would always come first, and I would always come after.

Then my hand touched the emerald diamond necklace around my neck and I instantly felt awful for doubting Connor’s love for me. Stop it, Liv! Why do you keep thinking the worst of Connor? Have some faith in him for a change. I let out a deep sigh and tried to reclaim some of the hope I had from earlier today. I knew that if our relationship was to work, I had to show just as much understanding, patience, and trust in Connor as he has been showing me over the last month and a half. I had to believe that he would keep his promise. I had to believe that he’d be home tomorrow morning and he’d be there to wake me up so we could spend my birthday together.

***

The next morning, Connor was indeed the one to wake me up.

But he wasn’t there in the room.

Instead, it was his call that woke me up. The alarm clock on my bedside table said it was 6:56 a.m. I sat up against the bed and yawned. As I pressed the button to pick up the call, I clung on to the hope that he was just calling to let me know that he was on his way home.

“Hello?” My voice was tentative as I held my breath, waiting for him to start talking.

“Happy birthday, Liv.” There was a forced cheerfulness in his voice, and it immediately sent a wave of dread and disappointment to wash over me.