“I know.” I want to tell him to take me away from here. Not that I don’t like the clubhouse, it’s just too many noises all the time and I don’t think it’s helping me.

“We are packing up and moving into our house tomorrow. Tonight will be our last night here, hopefully for a long time.”

My head pops up and I bat the tears away. “Really? We get to leave?” I say, surprised.

He smiles. “Yeah. I finally get to take you home, babe. Away from all of this, where it can be just you and me. I’m not doing any runs for the next two weeks, so it’s just you and me for the most part.”

I squeeze him tight. “Thank you.” It does not pass me that I never got my fight about moving in with him, but I’ll let it go. He is after all going to be my husband.

“Anything for you and I’ll do whatever you need to make you feel better.”

We hold each other for the longest time. When he releases me briefly, he grabs his phone and dials. I hear the one-sided conversation to Princess setting up a meeting with Shaina tonight. I can’t help the nerves that kick in. I don’t want her to hate me because right now I hate myself enough for the both of us.

When my phone buzzes, I jump but answer it when I see Doc’s name. He set up an appointment with Dr. Anderson for me in the morning and G.T. says he’ll take me. Things have to be looking up. Right?

Shaina’s face is faded black and blue with partially healed cuts covering her cheeks and forehead. Her eyes widen as I enter the room and I still myself, waiting for the screams that will come out of her mouth, aimed at me. G.T. is at my back as I walk in the room. I didn’t want him to come in, but he insisted. He didn’t want me to go to the basement alone. He promised me that he would not be far away.

Shaina gets up from the chair and walks towards me. My eyes widen and panic sets in getting ready for the blow. When Shaina’s arms wrap around my body, she squeezes and we both unleash the tears that need to fall. We stay locked in an embrace for a long time, both needing to feel the pain of Paine. And both understanding what it was like in that room. No one else will ever know the terror we felt and still feel, but Shaina got the worst of it.

When she pulls away from me and looks into my eyes, words fall from my lips. “I’m so sorry, Shaina. So very sorry.”

“Shh… It is not your fault Casey.” She grabs my hand and moves us to the table and chairs. We sit. G.T. stays far enough away to give us privacy, but close enough in case something happens. “You didn’t do this. That asshole did.”

“But I couldn’t stop him.”

“No, you couldn’t. I couldn’t either. I’m not gonna lie and say I’m okay, cause I’m seriously not. But I do know that it’s not your fault. At all. You cannot think any of this is.”

“I feel so damn guilty.”

“Why? Because you’re not Diamond’s daughter? That’s why he wanted me Casey. You heard him. He wanted to make Diamond pay from the grave. Instead of that, he made me pay. There was no changing his mind. Nothing. What happened to me is a result of who my father was.”

“You can’t blame your dad.” I whisper.

“I don’t know how I feel right now about that. I’m not sure how I feel about a lot of things. But one thing is for sure, I do not blame you in any way. You are probably the only reason he didn’t kill us immediately. I know we were buying time, but it doesn’t make it any easier.”

“I’m going to talk to someone. I think you should too.” I say wanting to suggest it but not step over bounds.

“Princess said the same thing. I’m not sure what to do right now. I’ll figure it out though. You do not worry about me. The only thing I ask of you is that you keep in touch with me. I need to know that you are okay.”

I am stunned by her words. If anything, I thought she’d want to hightail it away from the club and never look back. Not want to keep in contact with me and certainly not to make sure that I am okay. If anything it should be me voicing my worry for her. “Of course. But you have to do the same.”

“Absolutely. I’m going to go to my mom’s cabin for a while. It’s quiet up there and I need time to figure this out.”

“You sure being alone is a good thing?”

“For me. Yes.”

I nod my head trying to understand, but I’m not her and I don’t make choices for others.

“Keep in touch. Okay?”

“Okay.” I rise from the chair and hug her tight. A small bit of weight lifts off of my shoulders but worry still encases me. I hope the doctor will be able to help.

“How’d it go, Angel?” G.T. asks as we walk out of Dr. Anderson’s office. He wanted to come inside with me, but I needed to do it on my own. To be honest, I’m glad I did. Dr. Anderson is a slender woman with dark brown hair that is cut in a pixie cut. She has the glasses that scream doctor. But what I really like about her is when I walked in, she oozed comfort. There is something about her that makes me feel like I can talk to her and open up.

I surely didn’t think that would happen, but with her it did. And boy did I open up to her.

“It went well.” I smile. “She’s easy to talk to and I like her.”

“I’m glad you’re seeing a woman.” Like I didn’t already know this. Not only did I choose a woman for myself, I did it for him as well. I’m not stupid. “You want to talk about it?”

“I feel good G.T. I’m ready to move.” I say excited for the first time since it happened.

“Me too. Let’s get you home.” He smiles putting his hand on the small of my back and pressing me into my car.

For the first time in a while, warmth creeps through my body. Home. Something I haven’t felt in a long time. Now, I’ll have a home with G.T. Now if I can just shake all the rest.

“That’s the last of it.” G.T. says dropping the box to the ground with a thud.

“Thank you.” I say looking around at the space that G.T. wants to make ours. The term bachelor pad doesn’t seem right, but it’s the only thing that comes to mind. When we walked in, the house was so damn musty that it suffocated me until G.T. opened some windows and got the funk out.

Food boxes, beer bottles and clothes were strewn throughout the place and I did a quick clean just to move around. Furniture wise, there isn’t much, couch, chair and huge TV. I’ll need to pull some things out of storage soon.

The bedroom is the same, barren, with a bed and dresser. The first thing I did is grab the sheets and bedding and strip them off. G.T. laughed as I went straight out to the trash and chucked them into the can. I do not want to know who or what has been on those sheets and it will be the first order of business to get a new bed. If this is our new life, I’m not doing it on a bed that God knows what happened in.

“Angel, let’s go get a bed and some other shit you want. I want you to make this your place. But none of that pink shit.” He smirks and I damn well know that if I find a damn pink pillow, he’d suck it up and have it, at least for a while.

“Please. I want a place to sleep tonight.” I joke and he laughs.

After shopping and dinner, we lug everything back into the house and I mean lug about ten bags of new, clean things. The bed is being delivered in one hour and I’m tired. Really really tired. Sleep hasn’t been good for me these past few nights.

I yawn and lay on the couch, a feeling of calm washes over me. The sounds here are soft and I find myself relaxing. I fall into a deep sleep.

My eyes flutter open as G.T. picks me up and carries me in his strong arms down the hallway. I look in the bedroom we just walked into. The bed showed up while I was sleeping and G.T. made it with the new sheets we bought. “You set it up?” I whisper surprised.

“Anything for you, Angel. Sleep.” He lays me down softly pulling the blankets up over my body. The bed dips down and G.T. climbs in behind me wrapping his arms around me. I snuggle into his warmth, feel the soft sheets and close my eyes for the most peaceful rest I’ve had in a long time.