When she left, I couldn’t take it.

“What’s this?” I asked Mom.

“It was taped to the front door with your name on it,” she said curtly.

Who the hell would tape a note to the door? Texting, calling, emailing … but a letter. Really?

Climbing up the stairs to my room, I opened it.

She left? No, she didn’t leave. I just talked to her last night. She never said one word about leaving me.

Grabbing my keys, I ran outside and two doors down to her house. Banging on the door, my heart was beating feverishly. No answer. I slammed the door again with my fist, but nothing.

Running around the house, I peered up at Vann’s window. I’d climbed in it several times, and she always left it unlocked for me. Hoisting myself up, I found it open. Bingo.

Climbing in her room, everything was scattered. There were clothes, books, pictures laying aimlessly on the floor. The closet door was wide open, hangers dangling from the racks.

Shit.

Walking through the house provided the same picture. Everything was out of place and ransacked. If I hadn’t gotten the note from Vann, I would have thought they had been robbed.

She’d really left. Going back into her room, I slowly eased onto the bed. Lowering my head into my hands, a lone tear fell from my eye. She couldn’t have just left me.

Raising my head, I looked up to the ceiling; I thought God really hated me. I didn’t understand what I had done wrong in my life to keep having bad things happen every time I turned around.

Glancing at the dresser, I noticed a bunch of jewelry thrown about. Rifling through it, I didn’t see anything of significance. Looking down, I noticed the top drawer askew and something shiny caught my eye.

Inside was a long, black leather rope chain, and attached to the end was a key—a very old looking key with a long, rounded belly and a lone notch at the end. The top was rounded in several spots in a swirly design.

Reaching in, I picked it up in my palm, the weight of it heavy against my fingers. Clutching onto it for dear life, I wished that Vann would come walking in the room and say it was all a joke. But she never came in.

Eyeing the key, I realized this was the only connection that I had to her now. Slipping the key around my neck, I clutched it to my palm.

And five years later, I could still feel the rope of leather around my neck. Placing my hand on my chest, I could feel the key through my shirt. The rope was very worn since I had yet to take it off.

Heading back into the bar, I set my sights on grabbing Z and getting fuck out of here. Sliding up to him, I said, “Let’s go.” Z was still talking with Kinsley and Sawyer at the bar and, from that damn smile on this face, appeared to be enjoying himself. I wasn’t sure why he did this to himself; he knew these girls were off limits. They were the relationship type and that was not Z or I.

A slight brush of a hand on my arm caught my attention. Sawyer. I smiled politely at her. “Did Vann get in the cab okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Sorry about her. She’s just not herself right now.”

“It’s cool. She told me about it.”

Sawyer’s eyes bore into mine as she whipped her head around. “She told you about him?”

“Yeah.”

“But she knew you a whole five minutes,” she argued.

“Guess I’m easy to talk to.”

Sawyer sat for a bit, staring at me. “Huh. Well, he doesn’t know it, but he did a number on her.”

He did a number on her. What the fuck? I didn’t leave, she fucking did. Shaking my head out of my internal freak out, I focused on Sawyer.

“She said she had to leave.”

“Yeah, not by choice; her mom guilted her into it. She’s a piece of work. She tried to stay with her Grams, but her mom spewed a bunch of shit at her, and she believed it. Hell, she even tried to stay with me.” Turning to look me in the eye, she added, “I’m not sure what she told you, and she just has a lot to get over, but don’t count her out yet.”

Winking at me, she pulled Kinsley back out to the dance floor, leaving Z and me in the wake.

“Let’s go,” I growled.

“We gotta get some first,” Z argued.

“No. Not tonight. Let’s go.” Grabbing his arm, I pulled him to move.

“What the fuck is your problem?” Z barked at me.

“Nothing. Let’s go.” I let anger flow through me. I knew I was radiating some seriously mean vibes. I couldn’t put how I was feeling into words anyway.

“Fuck.” Z finished his drink and followed me out.

The car ride back was quiet, except for the roar of the Camaro engine. My mind replayed the entire conversation with Vann and Sawyer. She was guilted into going? Really?

Climbing out of Vann’s window, I ran. I took off until my body couldn’t move, and I couldn’t catch my breath. I hunched over and leaned against a large oak tree. The run did nothing to clear my mind, though. Did she even know how deep her leaving cut me? Did she even give a shit?

Jaxson left me, and now Vann. What the fuck was wrong with me that everyone I loved left? Tears freefell from my eyes, sadness roaring through me.

That was the last time I cried for Vann, and anger since took over. And I could deal with anger. I joined the gym and took every bit of frustration out on that damn bag, punching it ‘til my hands bled.

I thought I was over this shit.

“You gonna tell me what the hell’s going on?” Z muttered, breaking the silence.

“No.”

“Come on. If you want Vann, go for it.”

“If I wanted her, I would have her underneath me.”

“But instead you’re moping like a pussy.”

My hand instantly wrapped around the arm of his shirt, pulling him tightly. I knew my grip was rough, but I didn’t give a shit. “I’m not a fucking pussy.”

“Dude, chill.” Z didn’t even turn to look at me.

I released him and continued my blank stare out the window.

Waking up this morning sucked, but I needed to write. I had deadlines and they needed to be met. Sitting at my favorite spot on the deck, my hands began to glide over the keyboard.

“Vann!”

“Shit.” My hand fumbled on the keyboard.

“Yeah?” I yelled back at Kinsley.

“Here.” As she handed me a large mug of coffee, the thought crossed my mind to kiss her smack on the lips.

“Thank you. I need this.”

“So, you writing?”

“Was.” I glared at her.

“Sorry. I’m getting bad at that, huh?”

“It’s fine. It’s just something we gotta work out.”

“You know, Gunner was hot.”

Taking a deep breath, I knew this conversation was coming. I’d been trying to avoid it most of the morning. “Yeah, I don’t know what it was about him, but he was really easy to talk to.”

“Maybe you can go out with him sometime,” she suggested, shrugging her shoulders.

I knew she was trying to get me over Deke, but going out with Gunner wasn’t going to happen. “He reminds me too much of Deke.”

Kins’s eyes bore into mine. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know. Just a vibe I got.”

“No biggie. There are tons of hotties around here.”

I smirked.

Going back to my laptop, writing became difficult as thoughts of Deke continually entered my brain.

When I talked to Grams on the phone, she was so excited to see me tonight, and I’d admit I was, too. After not seeing her for so long, I felt as if I needed to make up for lost time.