“I’m a guardian of this world,” she said. “Just like Eli Rowland and Kade LaLaurie were for the netherworld. Ultimately, we’re all competing to claim souls. My side just does it a little differently than theirs. Meaning that the other side . . .”

“Cheats,” I finished, thinking back to what Eli had once said about stealing souls for the darkness.

Melissa nodded. “They pick out some of the living as targets—victims. And when someone dies at the hands of one of the dark guardians, it’s far more likely that the dark will be able to claim that soul first. That’s what we thought had happened to you. We didn’t even realize that Eli hadn’t actually claimed you, until . . .”

When she trailed off, I waited for a beat and then prompted, “Until?”

“Until someone here alerted us to your presence in the living world. Problem is, we don’t interfere with ghosts who still wander, unsettled. Especially ones like you, who’ve gone unclaimed for so long. There’s a really tacky name my fellow guardians have for your kind—damaged goods.”

By now, my pleasant mood was starting to crumble. I crossed my arms over my chest and scowled at her. “I’m not some forgotten piece of luggage at the airport, Melissa. I’m a person. With a soul.”

“Trust me, I know,” she said hurriedly. “When my friend told me about you, I bent the rules a little and made sure you’d be at the scene of one of Eli’s conquests last fall. So that Eli would have to notice you again.”

I blinked back in surprise. “Wait—what? Are you saying you made me find Joshua on the night of his car accident?”

“I didn’t mean to place you in Joshua’s path, specifically. I just wanted to make sure your nightmare occurred at the right time, in the right place. I thought that would draw Eli’s attention back to you—make him finally do what he was supposed to do after you died.”

I sucked in a sharp breath. “You were trying to send me to hell?”

Melissa waved her hands anxiously. “No! No, not . . . technically. I was just trying to get things resolved, as far as your afterlife was concerned. No matter what my friend wanted me to do for you, I couldn’t just bring you to the light immediately. And anyway, you didn’t end up in the darkness, did you?”

“No,” I growled. “And just so you know, Eli hadn’t forgotten about me—he’d been toying with me for over a decade.”

“I know,” she said, shaking her head sadly—for me or Eli, I didn’t know. Then she brightened, suddenly smiling widely. “But instead of Eli winning, the most amazing thing happened. On the night of Joshua’s accident, you did something that none of us anticipated. Something that robbed Eli of two souls.”

I stared at her blankly for a moment. Then realization hit me.

“I saved Joshua’s life,” I whispered.

Her smile grew even brighter. “You saved his life. And that act of kindness showed the light who you really, truly are. So, even though they determined that you still weren’t quite ready, the Highest Powers decided to give you extra abilities that could save you from the darkness. That’s why you have that protective glow and the ability to harm those who might try to hurt you. The Highest Powers also gave you a connection to everyone whose life you’ve saved since: Joshua and Jillian. That’s why you can touch both of them.”

I snorted. “Well, that’s not true at all. I haven’t been able to touch anyone since the Lazarus spell.”

She raised one eyebrow and gave me a suggestive smile. “Oh really? Because that’s not what it looked like in the Mayhews’ front yard the other night.”

The kiss. She was referring to that inexplicable kiss.

“But . . . but how?” I sputtered. “How did I touch him, just that once, when I haven’t been able to for months?”

Melissa shook her head. “Not everything that Gabrielle told you about your current state was true. She thought that you couldn’t touch anyone just because you couldn’t touch Felix. But you can still touch those people you saved. Only the Highest Powers can take that ability away. It’s just that you now need—what should I call it?—extreme concentration.”

I leaned back, stunned. Then, after I’d thought through a few things, I began to speak haltingly.

“If I’m hearing you right,” I said, “then I have all these—I don’t know—extra-ghostly abilities, because I did something out of the ordinary. But . . . it had nothing to do with some unknown quality of mine. It was a reward for my willingness to protect the living. Right?”

Melissa nodded emphatically, her red curls bouncing. “Right. Which is why you’re so lucky.”

I closed my eyes, tuning her out as she droned on about why I was “so lucky.” Right now, I had more important things to think about. Like what it meant if the things Melissa said were true. Was she right when she said that these extra abilities—the capacity to touch those I’d saved, the protective glow—could have been granted to any ghost, if they’d done what I had?

If that was truly the case, then I was . . . thrilled.

In fact, the longer I thought about it, the more it felt as though an enormous weight had been lifted off of me. Because I’d concluded something that Melissa hadn’t said.

My afterlife wasn’t predestined.

Even if the “Highest Powers” or the universe or whatever had granted me extra abilities, that hadn’t happened by some random twist of fate. It had happened because of my choices. I was this ghost, this person, because I chose to help people. I chose to fight.

The demons, the light, even Ruth, who used her final words to beg me to disappear—none of them knew what would happen to me until it actually did. They could plot and plan and scheme all they wanted, but I still had power over my own future. I still had the power to decide.

This realization brought with it an almost overwhelming sense of relief.

And somehow, the realization made things with Joshua seem better, too. He and I had been thrown together by chance, not fate. We weren’t star-crossed lovers, moving on some doomed, predetermined path. We were just two souls who saw each other, and in seeing, loved.

That simple bond was stronger than any supernatural connection. Stronger than any threat posed to us by the afterworlds. For the first time since the demons had threatened me, I allowed myself to hope.

I opened my eyes to find Melissa staring quizzically at me.

“Didn’t you listen to anything I just said?” she asked, clearly exasperated. “I’m asking you again to come into the light now. To join us. Tonight.”

I arched one eyebrow. “What do you mean? You’re ready to—what?—finally let me go to heaven now, after what happened on the bridge?”

Melissa smiled in confirmation, but I couldn’t help my dry laugh.

“You know, a friend of mine taught me that you don’t get one blessing without giving up another. So . . . what’s the catch?”

Melissa shook her head, frowning as if I’d disappointed her with the question. “Like I said earlier, Gabrielle Callioux wasn’t all-knowing.”

I flinched. “‘Wasn’t all-knowing’? Are you telling me that Gaby doesn’t exist anymore?”

“My best guess is that she’s with Eli and a lot of other lost souls,” Melissa said, “somewhere in the darkness beyond the gateway at High Bridge. In a place you can’t reach her.”

“I won’t accept that,” I said automatically. “I could try to reach her. I saw her tonight—I know she’s not beyond help. With light on my side, I could try.”

Melissa winced. “No, technically you couldn’t. If you accept my offer, then you’ll be bound by the same rules that I am. I guess that’s part of the ‘catch.’ You’ll have to give up your desire to save people once they’ve entered the netherworld. And you’ll have to remove yourself from the living world. That means no more visits to your mother. No more nights with Joshua. In fact, you don’t get to ‘protect’ any of your living friends . . . unless, of course, we end up claiming them after they die. You’ll be a guardian of our gateway . . . not a guardian angel.”