My stomach pitched, even though I wasn’t exactly surprised by this ultimatum. After all, everyone—from Seers to demons to pieces of filth like the former Kade LaLaurie—wanted to keep Joshua and me apart. Why should a guardian of goodness and light be any different?

As it stood, Melissa’s offer didn’t sound very appealing. Not if it meant abandoning my father and Gaby and forsaking my mother and Joshua and all my other friends in the living world. I’d all but made up my mind, when Melissa shifted closer and shook her head at me.

“You’re going to say no—I can see it in your eyes. But before you do, Amelia, there’s something else you should know about the person who told me to find you in the living world, while you were still wandering unclaimed.”

“I don’t care,” I muttered, fighting a losing battle with my anger. “I don’t care about any more of your explanations or stories. You’re delusional if you think I’ll give up on everyone I love just to save myself. I won’t stop protecting my mom and Joshua; I won’t stop trying to find a way to save Gaby and my father.”

“Ah, but that’s the thing,” Melissa said, her eyes suddenly sparkling. “You don’t have to save your father.”

I gave her a withering look. “You think that I would just leave him there? In the netherworld?”

Melissa shocked me by laughing. “Amelia, your father has never set one toe in the netherworld. It may surprise you to find this out, but he’s my friend.”

I felt my heart drop. My hands splayed upon the grass, clutching at it in an effort to anchor myself to something stable.

“What . . . what are you saying?” I breathed. “That he’s here? That he’s safe?”

When Melissa nodded, I dove forward, plucking her hands from her lap and grasping them tightly in mine. “Let me see him,” I begged. “Please, let me see him.”

“I can’t,” she said, looking genuinely sorry. She gave my hands a light squeeze. “I wish I could, but he and I have already broken so many rules with you: waking you up; giving you the visions in New Orleans; letting him speak to you—”

“That was really him?” I interrupted. “The first time you brought me to this field? And earlier today?”

“Yeah, it was really him. He misses you, Amelia. He wants you here.”

I shook free of her hands and fell back onto the seat of my jeans. This new piece of information changed things. I couldn’t pretend otherwise.

Almost reflexively, I pictured my father’s face: his sunny blond hair; his easy smile; the crinkles around his vibrant green eyes. The man who’d tied my first shoe and taught me to ride a bike. The man I’d sought for the last few months, under the misguided assumption that he’d been trapped in the netherworld.

If my father really did serve the light, then that meant Eli hadn’t claimed my father’s soul when he died. I guess that explained why Eli seemed so confused when I accused him of my father’s death. Maybe I shouldn’t have let it happen, but at that moment, a tiny part of my heart forgave Eli. And another part forgave Melissa for treating me this way, when I realized that she’d probably been the one to usher my father into this beautiful afterworld.

Thinking of those people I needed to forgive, another question struck me. “Is . . . Ruth up there?” I asked quietly. “In the light?”

Melissa rolled her eyes. “Are you kidding? That woman would bring down the whole system if we let her go anywhere else. Besides, she gave her life in an attempt to save all of you—a fact that she’s not going to let us forget anytime soon. She’s been here less than an hour and she’s already trying to run the place.”

I couldn’t help but laugh softly. Then I looked back down, studying the tiny threads in the knees of my jeans. I didn’t really see them—instead, I saw my father’s face again. Heard his voice, telling me to be brave, to do what I knew was right.

“What if I wanted to do something else first?” I whispered. “Before I enter heaven so that I can escape hell?”

I couldn’t see Melissa’s reaction to my question, but I sensed curiosity in her silence. Finally, she asked, “What is it that you want to do, Amelia?”

“Destroy the netherworld,” I said in a rush, looking back up at her. “I want to destroy the netherworld.”

Melissa shook her head. “Haven’t the last few days been any indication that you can’t? Besides, the netherworld is eternal, just like this prairie—just like heaven and hell themselves.”

My heart sank, but only until my next thought struck me. “What about the gateways into the netherworld? Are they eternal too?”

“Well . . . no,” Melissa replied, blinking in surprise. “They can be taken down, actually. I know that it’s been done before, millennia ago—pretty spectacularly in Gomorrah, so I’ve heard.” When Melissa saw my hopeful expression, however, she shook her head. “But a human can’t do that, Amelia. Not even a ghost can. Only the Highest Powers themselves can do that.”

Frowning, I asked, “By Highest Powers, do you just mean the rulers of light?”

“No, I mean all of them—the rulers of darkness and light. Only they have the power to destroy the gateways. . . .” Melissa trailed off when she saw my grim, triumphant smile. She didn’t really know me as well as she thought she did, but even she could see that I was beginning to form a new plan.

“Amelia,” she asked, “what are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking that I want you to make me a deal. A deal that involves more souls than just mine.”

“Go on,” Melissa said, with a note of caution in her voice.

“If I do something to the High Bridge gateway, if I find a way to close it from the inside, then I want the light to take not only my soul, but the souls of those people who helped me.”

Immediately, Melissa began to shake her head. “You know I can’t make that kind of—”

“Think about it,” I interrupted. “Just think about it.”

She opened her mouth to say something else, and then thought better of it. After another moment’s hesitation, she said, “All right. I’ll present your idea to the Highest Powers. I don’t know if they’ll go for it, but . . . I’ll try.”

I gave a sigh of relief, and then asked, “When will I know whether or not they’ve said yes?”

She smiled sadly and stood, brushing grass off her tunic. “You won’t. You’ll just have to make the leap of faith that they’ll answer your prayers.”

Then Melissa held my gaze, obviously trying to figure me out. I thought that she might say something more—give me another unsolicited piece of advice about my future. But as we stared silently at each other, the air began to shimmer and blur around us. Suddenly, the field seemed hazy and insubstantial. Looking at it made my eyes hurt so I blinked, just once. When I opened my eyes, I could once again see the interior of the gazebo, yet the scent of summer still lingered in the air like perfume. Like a hint of happiness. Of a place I’d only dreamed of, and might finally, finally see . . . but only if I didn’t fail. And only if they said yes.

Chapter

NINETEEN

For a long time I sat in the gazebo by myself, puzzling over the things Melissa had explained, and struggling with the choice she’d given me. With the plan that I’d barely begun to form.

My father. My father. If I believed everything that Melissa told me, then he was waiting for me in the light. So it should have been an easy choice. But obviously, it wasn’t.

If it was just a simple matter of choosing between heaven and hell, between the total absence of my father and an eternity in his presence, I would have already made my decision. Especially since neither light nor dark seemed content to let me stay here, in the living world. But the decision became far more complicated when I thought about Gaby, Serena, Eli, and all those trapped in the netherworld. Not to mention those I loved here, on earth, like Joshua, my mother, and the Mayhew family. My head literally ached from the sheer impossibility of it all.