This time it’s an, “Oh, fuck,” that I let go of and I suddenly feel his teeth sink into my bum cheek.

“I don’t want to hear that. It’s not ladylike.”

“Tiger, I’m lying face down naked on your bed while you rub my clit. I think I left my ladylikeness at the door.”

Without saying a word, he pushes his fingers inside me, but he doesn’t move them. He leaves them completely still as he lifts my leg by my foot and gently bites the back of my ankle. My Achilles heel and I can’t help but think how appropriate that is. That’s what he’s always been for me, my Achilles, my weak spot. Despite being happily married and in love with my husband, I fucked this man and I thought about him far too often during my marriage, and now, here I am. My husband’s dead and now here I am, back in his bed, and as much as I want this, I know it’s wrong, but I don’t want it to be. I want to somehow make it right, make it okay. It’s not even the rest of the world I care about convincing. It’s just myself.

The sensation of Cam’s tongue licking up the back of my leg brings me back into the here and now. He stops at the back of my knee and alternates feather-light kisses, licks and bites. The sensation is exquisite and I give up trying to hold in the moans that want to escape me.

“That good, Kitten?” I nod, but I know he wants more. He grabs my hips and pulls me up onto my knees, leaving me with my arse in the air and facing towards him. He bites down gently on my right cheek. “Tell me, Kitten. I need to hear it.” He pushes my legs as wide apart as they will go. My knees are on the very edge of the bed and I’m grateful that the only light in the room is coming from a lamp in the opposite corner.

His tongue is suddenly inside me from behind, his arm is over and around my hip, his two fingers coming back into contact with my clit.

“God, Cam, that feels good.”

“I know it does, you’re so fucking wet.” I can’t help but smile at how self-assured he sounds, especially as I know that he’s not, that he needs me to tell him how good it feels, how good he makes me feel and to let him know how much I want him.

“I want more, Cam. I want to feel you inside me.”

“Where, Kitten, where d’ya wanna feel me?” He licks me from front to back and pushes the two fingers that were at my clit inside me and curls them. My whole body shudders.

“There, right there.”

“You like my fingers there, Kitten, or d’ya want my cock there?”

“I want your cock inside me. I need to feel you. I want you inside me.”

He bites my shoulder and says into my ear, “So where shall I put my fingers, Kitten, if my cock’s in your cunt, where shall I put my fingers?” He slides them out, and using my own juices as lube, he pushes one inside my arse. I see stars. I’ve never let him touch me there before, Sean did, but I’ve never let anyone else.

“Fuck,” is the only word I can manage as I push back on him.

His teeth and lips and tongue are on my shoulder, neck and jaw. He bites gently on my earlobe, then flicks his tongue around my ear.

“More, Kitten, you want more of this?” He pulls his finger from inside me but then circles two around my hole.

“I want your cock inside me, Cam.”

“In your arse?”

“No, no fucking way is that fucking thing going in my arse!” I hear him chuckle, but as I turn to look at him over my shoulder and our eyes meet, the laughing stops. The atmosphere in the room changes.

“Turn over, Kitten. It’s been too long since I’ve seen you naked.” My stomach and my heart do what feels like a synchronised flutter at his words and I have a moment of panic. I was twenty when he last saw me naked. I’m thirty-two now. I have scars that he’s never seen. I’m not as perfect as he once thought I was and I wonder what he’ll think now.

Before I get a chance to turn over, he pulls away from me and goes into the bathroom. I hear water running and the sound of him washing his hands.

“Turn over, Kitten. I want you on your back when I walk in there,” he calls out. How the fuck does he know I haven’t moved yet? I turn onto my back and lay so I’m the right way around on the bed. He heads out of the bathroom and towards me, stopping at the end of the bed. He stands and looks at me. He’s totally naked and so comfortable and confident in himself, and so he should be. I have no idea how often he works out, but it must be a lot; he’s got to be around forty-two now, but he is the image of absolute physical perfection. His shoulders are broad, his arms toned. He has a six-pack that’s perfectly defined and that V thing that I don’t know the name of, but love all the same. His cock is hard. It’s sticking up, long and thick, and I try not to stare too long and instead move my eyes back up to his face.

“Open your legs, Kitten. Bend your knees and open your legs.” I do as he asks and he stares silently at me for a few seconds. He then kneels at the end of the bed before moving up my body and covering me with his. He holds himself up on his elbows, resting his forehead against mine. I close my eyes and breathe him in. He smells unmistakably of Cam. After all these years, I would still be able to pick out his scent anywhere.

He gently pulls at my bottom lip, trapping it between his teeth. He lets go and his tongue flicks inside my mouth. I moan as he kisses me so gently. He’s so big and dominant, alpha and intimidating, that his gentleness almost reduces me to tears. His mouth moves away from mine and I open my eyes; they stare straight into his.

“I’m going to taste you now, Kitten, all of you. I want to hear you moan and call my name. I want you to tell me when you can’t take any more and then I’m going to slide inside and fuck you like you’ve never been fucked before.”

He kisses me, from my lips, to my chin and down my throat, he kisses down my cleavage and then takes my boobs in each of his big hands and pushes them together. His tongue, his teeth and his thumbs, lick, bite and stroke each of my nipples. He then works his way down, flicking his tongue inside my belly button. His hands hold on to my hips and he tilts them up towards him. His thumb brushes over the small round scar on my left side I have from the surgery for my ectopic pregnancy. He looks down at my belly. He kisses the scar and then plants little kisses all the way along the long thin scar that crosses my bikini line left by my other surgery. When he finishes with his kisses, he looks up at me.

“I wish I could kiss away the pain, Kitten. I wish there was a way I could make this better for you.” I let out a small sob as I stroke his face because I know that he would. I have every faith that this man would do everything in his power to make things different. “The best I can do is make you forget for a little while.” He moves further down and flicks his tongue over my clit. He tilts my hips higher and pushes his tongue inside me, and my fingers claw at his scalp.

“God, Cam, fuck.” His tongue switches from inside me to twirling and flicking over my clit before he spears me with it again. He bites me gently on the inside of my thigh and I let out a sound that’s almost a growl as I pull on his hair. He laughs and looks up at me.

“Fuck, Kitten, I love those noises you make.” The light from the lamp causes the whiskers on his chin to glisten where it’s wet with my juices. It was something I used to love to see and nothing’s changed. He licks and sucks me again as I rock my hips into him. I try and move so his fingers slide inside me, but he moves them away, which just makes me move more. My toes are curling, I need him inside me desperately and I know the only way that’s going to happen is if I ask. He bites and sucks on my thigh again and looks up as he says, “You taste so fucking good, Kitten, so fucking good.” I push his hair back off his face and look him in the eye. I don’t know what he sees as he looks up my body and into my eyes, but he gives his head a small shake and says very quietly, “I love the fuck out of you, Kitten. You have the power to destroy me, please don’t?”