I can’t speak as I stand here and soak in his words, but he soon breaks the silence, pleading softly, “Don’t leave me alone in this.”

I wrap my arms around his waist, wanting to comfort him. Pike rarely exposes himself like this to me, so when he does, it’s hard for me to deal with. Pike is my rock. My backbone when I feel weak. We stand here and hold each other when I tell him, “I’ll never leave you, Pike.”

“When I tell you that I love you, I mean it. I love you—Elizabeth,” he says. “That’s something you will never have to question.”

And I believe him, but Pike has always loved me in a way I don’t share. His love has always bordered on an intimate level, whereas I love him like a brother. But when you grow up like we have, in a world where there is no black and white, it’s hard to clearly distinguish the grey, and right and wrong no longer exist. I’ve never questioned him about his feelings towards me, he makes it clear, and I’ve never corrected his assumption of my feelings. But the feelings I know he wants from me aren’t for him; they’re for a man who believes I’m real, only I’m not. I’m nothing more than his poison paradise.

THE MOMENT I see Declan, all of Pike’s words from earlier disappear. I watch Declan as he fixes my cup of tea in the galley of his boat, and after he adds a tiny splash of milk, he turns to hand me the mug.

“I’ve been wanting to ask you something,” he says as he leads me down into his stateroom. I crawl up onto his bed, folding my legs in front of me and cradling the hot mug, and when he sprawls out, resting his back against the headboard, he reaches out, saying, “Give me your hand.”

I offer him one of my hands and he turns it over, dragging a finger over my wrist. “These,” he whispers, referring to the faint white lines that mar the inside of my wrist. They’re barely even visible anymore, so I’m a little surprised that he’s noticed them. Not even Bennett has.

Declan brings my wrist to his lips and presses them against the tiny reminders of being tied up and locked away as a child. The touch is soft, a sweetness that melts me. “Tell me how you got these?” he asks, and I want to tell him. For some reason, I want him to know the ugliness in me. Instead, I avoid because I don’t want to lie to him if I don’t have to.

I slowly shake my head, letting him know that I don’t want to tell him, so instead he asks, “Did it hurt to get them?”

I don’t answer right away as I look into his eyes, eyes that show his concern for me, his love and his caring nature that he’s made me privy to.

“Yes,” I eventually respond, and he kisses the scars again.

“Can I talk to you about something?”

“What’s that?” I question before taking a sip of my hot tea.

“I want you to leave Bennett,” he states matter-of-factly.

“Declan, I told you, I can’t.”

“I have an estate in Scotland,” he reveals, “in the countryside of Edinburgh. Come with me. We can disappear.”

“He’ll find me.”

“I’ll hire security to watch his moves. We’ll know if he purchases a plane ticket. We’ll know everything he does. I won’t let him get close to you.”

The lengths this man is willing to go to for me are tempting. Bennett might try to find me, but he’d never hurt me like I’ve led Declan to believe. I immediately start thinking about what it would be like to run away with him. To leave everything behind and start a new life with Declan, far from my past. He’d never need to know because there’d be nothing to threaten the truth from revealing itself. But then I think of Pike. I can’t disappear on him. He’s my family. It’s a nice fantasy, but it isn’t reality.

“I can’t just vanish,” I tell him.

He takes my mug and sets it on the bedside table before taking both my hands in his. “Why not?”

“Because . . .” I shake my head, feigning my overwhelming reaction to his offer. “I mean, you’re asking me to leave behind everything I know. To walk away and never look back.”

“What is there that you’d want to look back for?”

“I don’t . . . I don’t know.”

“We could have a life,” he says softly.

“But . . . what about your job?”

“I own the hotel; I don’t run it. This was simply a home base for me while it was under construction. Soon, if the deal goes through, I’ll be working on the London property.”

I hesitate, dropping my head with a defeated sigh. “I don’t know.”

“You love me, right?”

Lifting my eyes to meet his, I nod, answering, “Completely.”

“Look, I know what I’m asking of you. And get that you’re scared, but I know what I want, and that’s a life with you. I’ll do whatever it takes to get that.” He moves his hands to my hips and pulls me onto his, my legs straddled on either side of him as he looks up at me. “I never thought I could love anyone the way I love you, but it’s painful, knowing I can’t keep you safe when you aren’t with me. It makes me feel like a piece of worthless shit when I send you home to that bastard.”

“You’re not worthless,” I tell him as I run my hands through his hair. “But what you’re asking is a lot for me.”

“I know.”

“I want what you want, but it all comes with a price.”

“I’ll do anything to have you. I’ll risk it all.”

His words should make me happy, but instead, they hurt. I could easily lie to him right now, tell him that Bennett rapes me or some other fucked up shit, and I know Declan would lose his temper and kill the son of a bitch right now, but I don’t. I don’t want to lose him even though I know I will. It’s inevitable, but I feel like I’m a little child, clinging to what makes me happy, desperate not to lose it.

My thoughts rake at my heart, pricking tears that begin to puddle in my eyes.

“Baby, don’t cry.”

The pressure inside my chest causes an ache throughout my body. I’m grieving the loss of what’s sitting in front of me, and it cuts through me allowing the misery to bleed out. Tears fall as Declan watches in silence. He bands his arms around me while my body heaves in breathless cries.

“Tell me what you’re feeling,” he urges, and when I open my mouth to speak, the words tumble effortlessly from my lips.

“I hate this. I hate every moment I’m not with you. You’re all that I want, and I hate life for not being fair to us. And I’m scared. I’m scared of everything, but I’m mostly scared of losing you. You’re the one good thing that’s ever come along for me. Somehow, in this fucked up world, you have a way of making all the ugly disappear.”

“You’re not going to lose me,” he states in a stern voice.

“Then why does it feel like it’s slipping away?” I weep.

“It’s not. I promise you, it’s not. You’re just scared, but you have me now. I’ll take all that fear away, every piece of it that you carry around. I’ll take it away. I’ll give you everything you deserve from this life. I’ll do what I can to make up for all your suffering.”

I let his words soak into the darkest parts of me, the parts that no longer believe in hope, but somehow, his words awaken what was once lost. If walking away from Bennett, leaving the plan behind and sparing his life, would mean a life with Declan, I’d do it. But I’m so torn up about where that would leave Pike. I feel like I’m in a no-win situation. No matter what I do, someone will get hurt. I want to be selfish. I want to keep Declan as my own. I want the fairytale, but once again, I’m having to face the fact that those are simply saved for books. Sometimes, for some people, there’s no such thing as a happily-ever-after.

Through the tears, I kiss him, needing the closeness. Like a wound, I need Declan to kiss it away and dry my tears. I don’t let up as our lips tangle in a turbulent desire for healing, a desire that we’re both seeking in this very moment. He flips me over onto my back, pinning my wrists above my head with his strong hands. Kneeing my legs apart, he pulls his tongue out of my mouth long enough for me to give him my obedient words of submission.