“You know what I mean.”

“I do.” I grabbed her waist and pulled her up so she was leaning over me. “When did you get so wise?”

She smiled, a naughty thing that twisted my insides. “Well, I’ve always been wise; you’re the one who never paid any attention to me.”

“I was a jerk,” I said, running my hands down her back. “But believe me, I’m paying attention now.”

I rolled us around so I was hovering over her, and stared down at her flushed face shining with the moonlight, her long hair fanned on the grass, her tight body under mine. She was so beautiful, so perfect.

I lowered my body and pressed against her as my mouth melded to hers.

“Hey,” Jason said, appearing from behind the door I had just installed and bringing me back to the present.

“Shit.” I took a step back, willing my heart to slow down.

“I scared you?” he asked, hiding a laugh. I groaned and picked up my jacket from the toolbox. “So, are you done here?”

I glanced at the clock on my phone. It was past seven in the evening. “Not sure. It’s not like I have anything better to do.”

“That’s why I’m here.”

I grabbed my bandana from my jacket’s pocket and wiped my forehead with it. “What?”

“Luke, Ethan, and I are going to a race, and we want you to go with us.”

Shit. “You know my answer. When are you going to give up?”

He flashed me one of his big smiles. “Never.”

I walked past him. “You’re a prick.”

Jason shrugged. “No, I’m your friend.” He followed me out of the house, and we walked together to the parking lot. “Are you going to tell me what it’s going to take for you to at least go watch the race with us?”

As if I knew. Instead of answering him, I turned the interrogation around on him. “How are your classes?”

He nodded. “The usual tactic. Changing subjects. Unlike you, I’ll answer the question. Classes just started, but like any summer semester, they are harder.”

“And … how is your father?” I couldn’t care less about Paul, but I knew Jessica had come back because of him. Besides, Jason was my best friend. I didn’t wish for him to lose his father.

“The same. Sleep, sleep, sleep, eat, complain, sleep, sleep, sleep.”

We entered the parking lot and I turned to my car.

Jason followed me. “Seriously, man, you should come with us. It’ll be good for you.”

If he pushed this matter, I would end up punching him square on the nose. I opened my mouth to tell him to go to hell or something when his phone dinged.

He fished his phone from the pocket in his leather jacket. “It’s Luke. John arranged another race for him.”

Jealousy crawled through my insides. “That’s great,” I said through gritted teeth. I opened my car door. “Have a good time.” I slipped inside and closed the door before Jason could even say bye.

I peeled from the site and onto the road as jealousy and frustration ate me alive.

Chapter Nine

Jessica

After a quiet dinner with Mama, she retreated to her bedroom, with excuses of being too tired, but I knew she was also concerned. She had stopped by the hospital earlier to see Papa, and the nurse told her his day hadn’t been that good.

I cleaned the kitchen, and then joined Luna on the swing on the back porch.

It was still early, but I knew the bike show should be almost over, being replaced by a party, which could be right on the tracks or at a bar or club around town. My brother, my cousin, and my friends would be there. And I knew Ryan would be there too. Party was his last name. It had always been, even when I refused to see it.

Jesus. My mind kept coming back to him.

Perhaps the girls were right and I did need some closure, though I was sure we had meant nothing to him, which meant there was nothing to close. Still, I felt like I was tied to the past, too many ropes around me. I had to find a way to get free of them, one at a time. And I could start right now.

I dashed inside, picked up the truck keys, and peeked my head inside Mama’s bedroom. “I’m going out.”

“Good,” she said without looking up from the book she was reading, seated on her bed. “You should go out with your friends.”

I didn’t bother correcting her. “Yeah.”

“Have fun.” She smiled, sneaking a glance at me. “And be careful.”

“I will.” I closed her bedroom door, and went into mine.

I put on my flats, picked up a jacket and my purse, and halted before the mirror. My hair was a mess, and I wasn’t in the mood to apply any makeup. Not that it would matter since I wouldn’t be meeting anyone.

Luna trailed after me as I ran to the front door, but I didn’t let her leave. I needed to do this alone. Luna whined, but I didn’t fall for her trick. I locked the door and dashed to the car.

I drove to Lexington Square, the main park downtown, and the place where Ryan and I kissed for the first time. And many more times. This was the place where the magic had started, and where it ended. This is the place I last saw him before leaving town. This was the place everyone last saw me before I left.

I cut the engine of the truck in a parking space around the park.

The sun was setting. Its orange and reddish rays licked the graying sky, only a few clouds spoiling the beauty. It was a gorgeous view, which made me wonder, where was everyone? Oh yeah, at the bike show, silly me. Bike shows were always the main attraction whenever there was one.

I walked to the northern most point of the park, where a small circular plaza overlooked a fountain. I hid under the shadow of a tree around the circle and sat on the pavement, pulling my legs close.

I inhaled deeply, letting the air carry the memories to me. I needed to feel them, to see them, to swallow past them. But they hurt more than I remembered. They scorched their way into me, into my heart, and I gasped, fighting the tears.

I had been too young, too blind, too innocent. If I could, I would have skipped my teenage years. All of them. Nothing good happened until I went to live with my grandma. There, at my new high school, nobody knew me, nobody knew my past, and I was able to start over, to be someone else, someone stronger, wiser.

I wish I had been stronger and wiser before. Maybe then, things would have been different.

Did it really matter? I had already admitted to myself that I wouldn’t have done anything different, so why lie to myself? Yes, there were days I wanted to change the past, there were days I wanted to forget, but deep down I knew it didn’t matter. If I could go back in time, I would have done everything the same, down to my last mistake.

I just wished Ryan had done things differently. I wished my papa had done things differently too. Which was selfish. Ryan and Papa were guilty, but so was I.

Drowning in my thoughts, I startled when a car cut its lights in the parking spot behind the plaza. I didn’t notice it was dark already, and I didn’t even see it arriving.

Not in the mood to be found, by strangers or not, I squirmed closer to the tree, hoping the shadows would hide me.

The person skulked to the plaza, kicking some loose stones, hands buried inside jean pockets. I noticed, by the larger frame, it was a man, wearing a black baseball cap that covered his head. When he stepped into the plaza and looked at the fountain, I recognized that strong chin and that chiseled jaw.

My heart skipped a beat before hammering against my ribs.

Trying to be sneaky, I crawled backward, reaching for the tree trunk. I wanted to retreat, hide behind the tree, and tiptoe back to my car before he could even suspect he wasn’t alone in the plaza.

Instead, my foot rolled over a loose stone and I slipped, hitting my head and back hard on the cement ground. I let out a raw yelp and pressed my eyes shut as if the action would send the pain away.