I hadn’t shown or told Sam about the little black jewelry box. It still sat in the dresser drawer in my room at Aunt Robin’s house, where I put it after finding it among his belongings from the hospital. I hadn’t even looked inside. It wasn’t meant for me. I’d been waiting for the right time to give his token of devotion and love to her. But I never found the right moment. I thought maybe during our trip to Hawaii would be that right time for her.

We’d decided to celebrate his life by saying goodbye in the Toro Nagashi way, a Japanese tradition of lantern offerings on the water. Sam thought it would beautiful, peaceful, and I had to admit, it looked pretty awesome. We would release a floating memorial, a little lantern sitting on top of floating boards with written messages of things we wanted to say, our goodbyes and prayers for a peaceful afterlife.

A week later we left for Hawaii. Bittersweet. That’s what the trip was going to be. Painfully beautiful. The seatbelt signs were on, and we were getting ready for takeoff. I’d flown a lot in my life, so why I was white-knuckling it was beyond me. I was relieved to have the man I loved at my side again. I prayed we could fix our problems and reunite for good. The last couple weeks without him had felt unbearably empty. But maybe it was letting go of Alec that was weighing so heavily on my heart. It should have been a relief to pay him our last respects . . . but I feared it wouldn’t be. Alec would always be in my heart—in both of our hearts, but I wasn’t sure we’d ever truly heal.

“Peach, are you okay?” Emmett asked, gently squeezing my hand.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Well no, actually, I’m not, but I will be,” I assured him, even to my own ears they sounded like hollow words. I saw his eyes sadden with the pain and guilt that always lingered there.

“Maybe, when we get settled in the cottage, we can see if we can find a local craft shop and pick up a few supplies for you to make some jewelry pieces. They’d be great gifts for Tamron and Alison. Much better than buying something made somewhere else anyway. I love watching you design,” he said.

I could feel my cheeks flame just from the look on his face—pure adoration. I didn’t know what I’d done to deserve him, but he was always able to heal my broken heart, and being with him again already made me feel a little better. He had a connection to my heart and eased the pain there.

I smiled up at him and replied, “That’s a good idea. I haven’t made anything in a while. It’ll be nice to get back into it again when we get home.”

As the seatbelt lights turned off, Sam visibly relaxed. I wasn’t sure why she was so wound up about the flight. Maybe it was just the trip itself. I knew we’d both been looking forward to it, yet also dreading it at the same time.

Holding her hand in mine, I closed my eyes and thought about Alec. I didn’t know how I was going to say goodbye to him. For so long, he and Aunt Robin were all I had. After Mom and Dad’s accident, nothing was ever the same. It was always just us. Now that he was gone, I just didn’t know. I didn’t feel as empty as I thought I would. I was sure that was because of Sam. She made everything easier. Brighter . . . lighter.

When she designed her pieces, she got this focused happy look about her. It was mesmerizing. When she’d finish and bring it over to show me, a look of pride would take over. It was simple. Her intense concentration and sense of accomplishment was beautiful.

Those were some of the few moments when my soul felt clean and my heart felt lighter. I felt like she could heal the brokenness of my heart and soul. My sanity was in her little hands. She had no idea how powerful a hold she had on me.

I leaned back on the headrest, and let my thoughts drift to Alec. I thought of all the times we’d spent together growing up and the mischief we caused. We’d gotten into a decent amount of trouble when we were young. Spent a lot of time grounded, but we’d communicate through our made-up Morse code by tapping on the bedroom wall between us. We had a lot of good times, but also our fair share of fights, too. None, however, were as deeply hurtful, nor had created as wide a chasm between us, as our fight over Sam.

We never had a chance to heal the damage over that one, and our last words continued to haunt me. I would never be able to share them with Sam. I didn’t want her to know how selfish and desperate I’d been. I didn’t want her to know how black my soul had become.

As we made our final descent and the jet circled for landing in Honolulu, Sam reached over and laced her fingers through mine. It felt like a lifeline, and I exhaled with relief. She squeezed once before rubbing her thumb back and forth along my wrist. It was a small gesture, but the implication was significant. She was ready, and so was I.

As we made our way through the airport, I couldn’t help but look at all the travelers and wonder if it was as hard for them to take each step as it was for me. Were any of them taking a step closer to saying goodbye forever, to someone they’d loved their entire lives? My throat felt tight, and I had to fight back the tears as we made our way to baggage claim. There was an empty spot in my heart where Alec used to dwell.

Sam squeezed my hand and looked up at me, and I could see a similar sadness in her watery eyes. I feared this was going to be much harder than expected. I wasn’t prepared to say goodbye to my little brother, and I knew then, that I never would be.

After grabbing our bags, we walked outside and hailed a cab to take us to the cottage I’d reserved. As Sam and I sat in the back, she kept her fingers laced through mine and peeked up at me periodically. It felt good to be together again. I began to feel whole.

Those couple weeks after our fight were even worse than when we realized her ex was my little brother, because I thought we were truly over, that there was no hope of us overcoming Alec’s death and being together again. I cursed fate for ruining our lives and for making my brother and I fall in love with the same girl, no matter how innocently it had happened. But most of all, I cursed fate for taking Alec from us.

As we settled in the cottage, I began to think about the Toro Nagashi and what I wanted to say to Alec in my messages on the lantern. Sam and I both agreed to keep our last memories confidential, and not talk about what we would write. Each would be private, something we could at last share with him to say our final goodbyes.

I’d written mine in a notebook and was ready to put them on Alec’s lantern, messages of how much I loved him and how sorry I was for the way things had turned out, and for what I’d said the last time I saw him. I promised to take care of Sam, and spend the rest of my life making her feel loved and cherished. I wished him peace, and told him he would always be my little brother, and that I would always love him.

When Sam walked around the corner and came into the sitting room, she had a white sundress on, and looked like my very own angel. Her beauty stopped my breath, and I felt compelled to hold her, touch her, and feel her in my arms. I stood and hugged her close, her body melted into mine. Taking a deep breath, I could smell her flowery shampoo and it made me smile. Who would have ever thought that such a thing could make me so happy? But it did, and I loved it.