“I was already in town.”

His words shocked me silent.

“Look I wasn’t planning on coming to Atlanta. But I just couldn’t stop thinking about you. It had been nearly a month since you left, and I hadn’t slept well in over a week. I stayed away, Peach. Damn it, I didn’t even call, and I wanted to, so much. I needed to hear your voice, even if it was only one word. I needed that connection. But if I had answered your calls or replied to your text messages, I knew I would lose my mind, and I was trying to respect you and Alec being together.”

“But you pushed me away! You told me to be with him—and I wasn’t—by the way. We were keeping it just friends. As much as he wanted us to, I just couldn’t be with him like that again . . . not while I was in love with you.”

Emmett stood and leaned against the counter. He roughed his hands through his hair and sighed. “I was so tired, Sam. The mornings were the worst. I always reached over to pull you into my chest and watch you sleep. God, I loved watching you sleep. The way your chest would rise and fall with your breaths, your hair laying around your face. But you weren’t there. And it punched my gut every damn morning.”

I stood and walked over to him, pulling him close and wrapping my arms around his waist. “Emmett, it was hard for me too,” I whispered.

“I just wanted to see you. I needed to see you. So I got in my car and went for a drive, you know . . . to think. I didn’t have a plan or know where I was going. I just drove until I went past the first sign for Atlanta, and then I knew what I had to do. I thought, if I saw you with Alec, if I knew you were happy with him, maybe it would convince me you were where you needed to be, and it wouldn’t hurt so much anymore.”

“Emmett . . . I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I missed you, too. And we weren’t together like that. But you never came to see me. You never called. I had no idea you were in town. How could I have known?”

“I got a hotel room, and I just sat there. After I got there, I couldn’t stand the thought of seeing you with him, seeing his arms around you, holding your hand, or kissing you. I know I pushed you to be with him. I didn’t know you decided not to give him a chance. I drove all that way, thinking that seeing it would fucking fix it for me, but once I was there, I realized it would be too much. So I went down to the hotel lounge to have a beer, and just sat there thinking. I decided it was no kind of life the way I was living, and I was going to fight for you. I called Alec, and he finally agreed to meet. We talked, and I told him that I loved you and I wasn’t going to give you up without a fight. Looking back, I’m sure he was thrilled to keep my presence a secret.”

“Oh, Emmett . . .” I whispered.

“Yeah well, dear brother didn’t exactly take kindly to any of it, especially when I told him I knew you loved me, too.”

“What? Why would you say that?”

“Because it’s the truth Sam!”

“He had a right to know what we had was more than just a rebound fling for you. And that you weren’t just another random hook-up for me. He deserved better than our deceit. I know, we didn’t know about each other then, and y’all were broken up when we were together, but I couldn’t sit there and lie to myself anymore . . . or to him.”

I dropped to my knees, sobbing with my head in my hands. And, of course, he was right there, picking me up and carrying me to the couch.

“Peach, stop. Breathe. Just relax.”

“Oh God, Emmett.” I grabbed a Kleenex and wiped the snot from my nose. “That morning, before Alec fell . . . I told him I was in love with you—that I loved both of you—but I couldn’t be with him the way he wanted. It was selfish to tell him. He didn’t need to know. You had left me, I didn’t think we would ever get back together. But I felt like I owed him the truth. I didn’t want him to think that he could win me back or lead him on. I watched the light leave his eyes, Emmett, like my disclosure broke his spirit. You told him the night before, and I . . . I confirmed it that morning. He was so devastated. Dear God, what did we do?”

“Sam, the railing broke. Alec fell. It was an accident. We didn’t do anything. We both loved him. Just, please, Peach, please . . . don’t push me away. I can’t lose you again. Don’t throw away what we have. We can be together and try to live a happy life. I feel like Alec would have wanted us to heal and move on, together. He wouldn’t have wanted this pain for us.”

“Are you crazy? We can’t be together! It’s not right. You have to go,” I ordered with a sniffle. “I can’t even think about this. How can we even consider going on like nothing happened, being together when Alec is dead? God, Emmett, he looked so sad, thinking God only knows what. He looked like he was empty. I’ll never forget that tormented look in his eyes, his pain.”

I reached for Emmett then, but he jerked his hand back away from me so fast, he knocked the vase off the coffee table, and it crashed on the tile floor, sending shards of green glass everywhere. He didn’t stop though. He just walked over to the kitchen counter and grabbed his sunglasses and car keys. I jumped up and ran to him.

“Emmett, please, stay. Where are you going?”

“Sam, don’t. If this is it, then just fucking say it. I can’t do this. I have to go. Guess it didn’t matter in the end, did it? I have no brother, no girlfriend . . . I have nothing.”

“Emmett, please . . . I love you.”

“No, Sam! You said it’s done. Clearly we’re done. Don’t say we have to walk away from each other, that it’s not right for us to be together, and then in the same breath tell me you love me. You need to sort this shit out in your head.”

“But I do love you . . . that hasn’t changed.” I whispered.

“Don’t you dare say you love me. Never again.”

He opened my condo door and walked out, never once looking back.

Oh God, what have I done?

I curled up on the couch and lost myself to my sobs, to what could’ve been, but never would be. I cried until there was nothing left inside, so barren and lost, all I could do was fall asleep, still mourning for our three broken hearts, two broken lives, and the one we lost forever.

A little over two weeks later, I received a letter from Emmett. It was beautifully written, yet heartbreaking at the same time. I must have read it over and over a hundred times.

I set his letter down on the coffee table, sunk back into the couch, and stared at his beautiful face on my phone. It was a picture I’d snapped while we were kayaking the Tallapoosa River, what now felt like a lifetime ago.

I wanted to call him. But I didn’t know what to say, the way we left things . . . was volatile. I loved Emmett. Not having him in my life—was like trying to have a beginning without an end—my heart rebelled at the possibility that this was our end.

It had only been a couple of weeks since Sam and I had our big fight. They were some of the longest weeks of my life. I missed her every day. I missed my little brother. I hated the way fate had interfered in our lives. I didn’t think Sam would even answer the phone when I called her. But the idea of us going to Hawaii, to celebrate Alec’s life and say our goodbyes, felt like the perfect place to send him off to peace. We talked about it and both realized that we needed closure. I was happy, relieved, and shocked when Sam hesitantly agreed to go with me. I hoped the trip and closure would help start healing the aching holes left in both of our hearts from Alec’s death, and I wanted to fix the problems between us. I needed her in my life.