She held the sheet tightly against her breasts, depriving Merrick of the perfect view. “I did not imagine I’d fall asleep. Usually I have trouble sleeping anywhere else but in my own bed.”

He smiled. “It can happen if one is properly sated. I can happily accept that I exhausted you.”

Another blush swept her cheeks and she glanced down. “You did that very well.”

Merrick slipped his finger under her chin and lifted her gaze. “You were untouched before you came to my bed. You should have been honest with me.”

Her eyes widened in panic and he tightened his grip so he was holding her chin firmly. He wanted nothing less than her complete honesty.

She quickly nodded. “I was, and I’d be grateful if you could keep the embarrassing discovery to yourself. I’m in your debt.”

“My debt.” Merrick stood, suddenly irritated by her attitude. The gift she’d granted him was beyond price. “I should be the one to be grateful.”

“I don’t understand. You seduce women every day.”

A bitter laugh slipped past his control. “Not respectable women like you. An honorable man would offer to marry you after such a night and the discovery he’d taken something so precious, but you don’t want that, do you?” He strode to the tall windows and threw the drapes wide, unnerved by how easily his own truths tumbled from his lips when in her company. If this continued, he’d be confessing the secret of his first boyhood fantasy.

The bedsheets rustled. “Last night doesn’t necessarily need to change things between us.”

He glanced over his shoulder and immediately wished he hadn’t. Arabella sat in a puddle of bedsheets, legs crossed and her shoulders bared to his gaze. Long strands of pale hair tumbled over her limbs, tempting him to wrap his hands in the strands and never let go.

“How many times have I wanted you and thought you disinterested? But you were not the woman of experience I imagined you to be. You were as innocent as any new bride come to her husband’s bed,” he said quietly.

A rush of color swept her cheeks at his observation. “Those days are behind me. I was a virgin. But that was yesterday.”

Merrick could understand her willingness to throw propriety aside to experience passion, but what did that mean for him? Did she view him as a passing fancy? He had to know. “And what will you do now that your virginity has been taken? Bat your lashes at gentleman and invite them to your bed while expecting me to ignore your trysts without a word of protest?”

“No.” She fought to free herself from the bed and scrambled into his discarded banyan. “I’ll go on as I always have. I thought we were friends. You’re still friends with your previous lovers, are you not?”

“I am, but everything is different now. There is the slightest chance you could be carrying a child at this very moment. Did you think of that?” He was satisfied when her hand touched her belly. She appeared startled but not unduly alarmed that she could be carrying his babe. “I do not usually make mistakes in such matters, but with you I am utterly reckless. With all the half brothers and sisters I have, I can ill afford to continue that family tradition.” He set his hands to his hips. “What if I cannot forget last night? What if I cannot ignore the fact that I had you in my bed? I want you back there already.”

Her brow creased in a frown. “I…I’m sorry. It was my problem I sought to remedy, and I thought this wouldn’t change anything for you.”

He moved close to her. He needed to be near her again. In his arms would be better. “I cannot forget last night as easily as you will forget me.”

Her eyes widened. “I never said I would forget you. You’ve been so kind to me.”

“I’m not kind, Arabella. I’m in love with you.” At her silence, Merrick spun on his heel and headed for the door. “I’ll see your breakfast is brought to your bedchamber so we might say good-bye in proper surroundings.”

Merrick slammed the door behind him, appalled that he’d blurted out the state of his heart and received nothing in return. Devil take it. Pleasing Arabella last night had not been in his best interests. He couldn’t let her go. The idea was impossible.

He made arrangements for a breakfast tray to be prepared and then sat down on the staircase steps to await its delivery, pondering his next actions. He still had to order his carriage and gain Arabella’s agreement to visit with Grayling for the day before he could attend to family matters and then return to plead his case. In all he had at most an hour without interruption to get her agreement that marriage was the next logical step, or at least as something to consider.

Holland appeared before him, a deeply disapproving expression on his face. “Do you want the carriage brought up now?”

Merrick stared at Holland. “In an hour.”

Holland’s brows pinched together. “What troubles you?”

“Oh, everything. Go away, brother. I have no need of your counsel right now.”

“Suit yourself.” Holland’s eyes turned pitying.

“Wait. Be a good fellow and hurry that breakfast tray along.”

Holland rushed off and, a few minutes later, returned with the tray in his hands. “It goes without saying there are no secrets in a country house. I assume you would prefer to deliver her tray yourself?”

Merrick held out his hands and took the tray. This was what came of giving in to his yearnings for Arabella. He’d ruined a very proper lady. He plodded up the stairs, stopping when Arabella’s bedchamber door was before him. He juggled the tray and knocked, half expecting to be kept waiting a very long time. She bid him enter immediately, though it was with a voice so quiet he grew afraid he’d ruined everything between them.

Merrick slipped inside, making sure to lock the door behind him. Arabella had taken refuge on a crimson settee, still wrapped snugly in his silken banyan. He set the tray on the small side table and uncovered the dishes.

She leaned over immediately and took a warm fruit scone. “These are my favorites. Thank you.”

“You have your cook to thank, not me.”

He took one himself and moved to the very end of the settee. He might want to sit nearer and touch her body again, but he wasn’t sure of his reception after his sudden confession that he’d fallen in love with her. They ate in silence.

“No one has ever loved me before,” she said softly.

She’d been untouched for certain. The blood on his previously pristine bedsheets attested to that fact. A small wave of guilt swept over him. He could have been gentler. “I promise you will feel no further discomfort from now on.”

Her brow creased and she clenched her hands together. “You misunderstand. No one has ever told me they loved me. I’m not certain what you want from me.”

Her eyes were twin pools of confusion and he slid along the settee until they sat side by side. He took her hand in his. “There is nothing you need do if you don’t wish to. ’Tis the state of my heart, and I doubt it will deviate from its chosen path.”

“Surely there’s hope your feelings will pass. We’ve known each other for so short a time.”

He winced. “I’m told you cannot choose who you fall in love with, and I have discovered it’s impossible to fight it. You were happily married when we first met, and then I thought you might make a match with Grayling. I never dreamed I’d get a chance to know you better.”

“Oh?” Her hand landed on his thigh and the touch seared through his trousers.

He picked up her hand and pressed his lips to her knuckles. “I am so glad you came to my door.”

She leaned her head against his shoulder. “I was never happily married, you know.”

Merrick drew her into his arms and held her. Such a sad statement and one he’d certainly heard from other women in society. But Arabella had hidden her misery better than most. If he’d had the smallest inkling, he’d probably have acted long before this. He rocked her in his arms, so grateful for the chance to be alone with her.