The saying on my T-shirt was perfect, although I’d probably get sent home for wearing something that had a curse word on it. It said, Excuse me, which level of Hell is this? I decided it was worth it. I looked in the mirror and paused, my hand skimming down the fabric. It was red.

Did I pick it because it’s Brody’s favorite color? Or is just coincidence?

I wore black sweatpants and my red Converse high tops—I figured it’d be one day Jenna would give me a free pass and not lecture me on my wardrobe choices. I pulled my hair into a messy bun and put a little makeup on to hide the circles under my eyes.

I looked in the mirror one last time. Jenna was right. I had lost weight. My clothes looked a size too big for me.

Best. Diet. Ever.

I sat in the foyer, looking out the window, waiting for Jenna to pick me up. As soon as she pulled in the driveway, I hurried to her car.

“Let’s get this day over with,” I muttered.

We pulled into the student parking lot. Jenna parked and was out of her car before I could say anything. I just sat and stared.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, opening my door. She followed my gaze. “Oh, shit, Willow. I didn’t see them.”

I shrugged a shoulder and climbed out of the car, still watching Brody and Kara walk across the parking lot. He’d given her a ride to school. I’d seen him open the door for her to get out of his Jeep, like he’d done for me so many times.

When I walked into school, I felt every eye on me. People parted in the hall as I walked through. I don’t know if they pitied me or just wanted to see my reaction. I kept my head high and just tried to make it to my locker.

“Oh, no.”

“What?” I looked at Jenna. She nodded her head toward our lockers. Jaden stood with his shoulder leaning against mine.

“Hey, Wills,” he said.

“Don’t call me that.”

Jenna helped my get my coat off and sucked in a breath when she saw my arms. She didn’t say anything as she grabbed my books from the locker, hefting my bag over her shoulder. I thought again how Jaden should be doing that. He was supposed to be my boyfriend. Wasn’t that what boyfriends did?

“Still got the sling, huh?” he asked.

“I’m wearing it, aren’t I?” I snapped.

“Watch the attitude. Nice shirt. See ya at lunch.” He sauntered off.

“I told you he wouldn’t get it.” Jenna pointed at my shirt.

“He doesn’t pay enough attention to get it.”

Jenna laughed, but there was no humor in it. “Yeah, he’s a real douche.”

Nodding, I followed her into my biology class. I forced myself not to look for Brody. I just walked to my seat and sat down, laying my head on my books. At least I didn’t share any classes with Kara. I wouldn’t have to see the two lovebirds together.

Wrong.

Everywhere I went Friday, I saw Brody. And each time, Kara was with him. And to really make things horrible, like they weren’t already, they were holding hands.

My body shook when I saw him with her. It was a cross between blinding anger and searing pain. My stomach roiled, and I was sure I would have puked if there had been anything in it, but I couldn’t remember the last time I’d eaten.

I snuck one of my mom’s prescription sleeping pills that night. I took it right after dinner and went to bed. It saved me from a night of sitting in my room, wondering what Brody and Kara were doing at the dance. If he pulled her close during the slow songs. Did he kiss her? My mind whirled with thoughts of them until I thought I’d go crazy. After I took the pill, sleep sucked me in and took away all thoughts of Brody, Kara, and the girl’s choice dance.

Saturday, Jaden and I went to a movie and The Dive for dinner afterward. As soon as I walked in, I knew he was there. I hadn’t seen him. It was as if my mind and body were still connected to him. They sensed him. I had Brody radar.

Jaden walked to the back of the restaurant where he always sat. I followed behind him, keeping my gaze locked firmly on the floor. I knew the second I passed the table where Brody sat. I could smell his subtle scent. And then I smelled something else. Something flowery and feminine… and I knew he wasn’t alone. Tears pressed behind my eyes, and I tried to swallow down the lump that’d lodged itself in my throat. One lone tear escaped, and trailing down my cheek and dripping from my chin before I could catch it.

Are they freakin’ everywhere?

When Jaden and I sat at our table, I made sure to sit with my back to the rest of the room. I didn’t want to look up and see Brody with her. It was bad enough knowing they were there. I didn’t need to watch them too.

Jaden and I ate our burgers—with freakin’ mayo. We barely said two words to each other. I didn’t know why he insisted on staying together. It was obvious we didn’t love each other. We barely tolerated one another. But he wouldn’t let go.

When he finished his meal, he wandered from table to table, talking and joking with his buddies. As usual for a Saturday night, The Dive was packed wall to wall with people from school. I sat in the booth, waiting for him to get tired and decide to take me home. I played with my leftover French fries, running them through the puddle of ketchup and using it to make designs across my plate.

We’d been there an hour when I got up to use the restroom. I walked by Jaden and his hand snaked out and grabbed my wrist, yanking me back to him. I let out a small yelp when he jarred my shoulder.

“Where are you going?”

“I have to use the bathroom. Is that okay with you or would you rather I pee myself in the middle of the restaurant?”

He dropped my wrist and turned his back to me. I let out a breath through my teeth, biting my lower lip to keep from saying something stupid.

I walked into the restroom and froze. My mind screamed at me to turn around and leave, but my feet wouldn’t work. It was as if they were made of lead. I couldn’t lift them. She saw me in the mirror.

“Hi, Willow.” She gave me a small smile.

“Kara.”

“This is kind of awkward,” she said with a nervous laugh.

I just smiled.

Why should it be awkward? Just because you’re dating the one person I love more than anything? Nah, not awkward at all. Twit.

“Well, I better get back…” She let her words trail off and gestured toward the door.

I moved away from the door. “Yeah, your date is probably waiting for you,” I said with an edge.

“I’ll see you around,” she said before she hurried out of the room.

I hope not.

It was two weeks later when I came face to face with Brody in independent study. It was the first time we’d come in close contact since the morning outside English class. We just stared at each other. Neither of us seemed to know what to say or do.

“Hey,” Brody finally said.

“Hi, Ace.”

There was another long, awkward pause.

“Well, I need to get back to work.” He gestured to his things strewn across a table.

“Sure.”

He started to walk away, and I panicked. I just wanted another few seconds with him. I needed it, even if it was filled with so much tension it was suffocating.

“Brody?”

He stopped with his back to me.

“I’m glad you found someone who makes you happy,” I whispered behind him. I wanted to touch him so badly. Reaching out, I let the tips of my fingers graze his shoulder. He tensed, but he didn’t pull away. I fisted my hand, and it dropped to my side.

I sighed. “Um, there’s something I need to tell you.” I paused, hoping he’d react, show some interest. Anything. He didn’t. He kept his back to me.

I licked my lips and pushed a piece of hair behind my ear. “I don’t know if you remember, but not long after we met, you told me reputations aren’t always deserved. Well, I need you to know that sometimes things aren’t always what they seem. Um… some… something can look like something else. Sometimes people do or say things they have to, to protect the person they love most in the world. They become great chameleons. It’s the only way they can survive. It’s how they protect themselves and the one person they love more than themselves. The one person they’d never hurt—if we lived in a perfect world.”