Did that mean anything?

I guess I never felt anything for him because my first impression of him was so horrid. Plus, I had a boyfriend. But now that I was at a point where I was able to be attracted to other men, I started to notice Ash in a new light.

But I wasn’t ready for another relationship. Honestly, I didn’t know if I would ever want one again. There were too many lies and too much heartbreak. No one should experience what I went through. He didn’t just break my heart. He made me question my worth and the value of everyone in the world. Would I ever really recover from that?

A knock on my door shattered my thoughts. I put the picture down then looked through the peephole. Ash was standing on the other side. My heart fluttered at the sight of his face. Warmth spread through my body and my fingers tingled. My breathing increased.

What was wrong with me?

I answered the door then felt my knees go weak. He was wearing dark jeans and a gray t-shirt. The color brought out his eyes more. His chest was hard and defined. The shirt was loose around his stomach. I remembered the night he kicked out his fuck buddy wearing nothing but his boxers. I didn’t appreciate the sight at the time, but now I appreciated the memory.

“Hey.” He put his hands in his pockets.

“Hi…” I was tongue-tied when I was around him.

“Are you doing anything?”

“No,” I blurted. “Why?” Could he tell how nervous I was?

“I’m going to grab a bite. Would you like to join me?”

“For dinner?” I asked.

“Yeah.”

We never hung out and did things together. Going to the beach to play with my camera was the first time. Was it going to be a regular thing? “Sure.”

He nodded. “Are you ready?”

“Just let me grab my purse.” I turned away and headed to my kitchen. It was sitting on the counter where I left it. Then I returned to him. “I’m ready.”

“Okay.”

We got into his car then drove to the main street.

“What would you like?” he asked.

“I don’t care. Anything is fine.”

“Anything but Chinese, right?” He stared straight ahead and gripped the steering wheel.

How did he know that? “Sorry?”

“You don’t like Chinese food. Isn’t that true?”

“But how do you know that?”

He shrugged. “I heard you say it.”

I couldn’t remember saying that to him, but he actually remembered hearing it. Jace never remembered…

“How about Italian? You can’t go wrong with that, right?”

“No, you can’t.”

He parked the car then came around and opened the door for me. I wasn’t expecting him to do that. I grabbed my purse then stepped out, hearing the door shut behind me. He walked beside me then opened the door for me again.

Jace never did stuff like that.

“Table for two.” Ash kept his back perfectly straight.

I glanced at him, realizing just how tall he was. He was filled out, having muscles in his arms and his legs. His chest was noticeable through his shirt…and I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

We were led to the table. Again, Ash did something I didn’t expect. He pulled out my chair for me before he sat in his own.

He really could be a gentleman.

I sat down across from him, feeling my heart move into my throat.

He handed a menu to me before he picked up his own. Then he looked through the selections.

I held my menu but I kept staring at him. Even his forearms were defined. His veins were noticeable and tight against his skin. He barely had any hair on his arms, and it disappeared at his elbow. His hands were large, and they were dry and callused.

My eyes trailed up and I noticed how broad his shoulders were. He sat up straight with perfect posture. His blue eyes scanned the menu, never leaving the print on the page.

God, I needed to stop staring.

Like he could hear me, his eyes flickered to me. “What?”

Shit, he caught me staring at him. “Do you work out?” Someone put a bullet in my head and put me out of my misery. Of all things to say, why did I have to say that? It was pretty obvious what I was thinking about.

He didn’t gloat. “I do Cross Fit.”

“You do?” When did he have time for that?

“I usually go after class.”

“I heard that’s really challenging.”

“But that’s why I like it. It helps my form so I retain it when I’m on my feet all day at the hospital.”

That made sense. “That’s cool.”

“Speaking of the hospital, how’s your grandmother?”

I hadn’t visited her in a long time. Payton took up the mantle because I couldn’t. I asked her not to mention my break up with Jace so she wouldn’t worry about me. I just couldn’t face her. It was impossible to lie to her and say I was fine when I really wasn’t. “She’s doing okay.” She’d been in the hospital for a long time, but the doctors were at a stalemate. Due to her heart condition, they were hesitant to operate, but the clot wasn’t dissolving on it’s own. I didn’t mention this to Ash because I didn’t want to bum him out.

He didn’t press me for further information. “If there’s anything I can do, let me know.”

“Thank you.”

He put his menu down. “What are you getting?”

I hadn’t even looked at the selections. “Tortellini.” It was the first thing that came to mind.

“I’m getting the eggplant parmesan.”

“That sounds good.”

The waitress arrived and took our order. Ash took the lead and ordered for the both of us.

“You really are a gentleman,” I blurted.

He smirked. “Only to women I respect.”

He said that to me once before. I forgot about it until now.

“I tried to be a role model for Livia so she would find a boyfriend who treated her the same way. My dad used to work all the time so he wasn’t around very often. And I think it worked because Scotty treats her just the way I want him to.”

I felt my heart melt at his words. “That’s really sweet.”

He shrugged. “I love my sister.” He pointed a finger at me. “But don’t tell her I said that.”

I zipped my lips. “Your secret is safe with me.”

“Good.”

I was still curious to know what happened to his sister. He mentioned something horrific. But he said he didn’t feel comfortable sharing her secret so I didn’t ask him again.

“I like it when you do your hair like that.” He stared into my face, not hesitating.

Absentmindedly, I felt my hair. It was in a braid over one shoulder. I hated ponytails because it gave me a headache, so this was a good way to keep it out of my face without putting stress on my scalp. “Thanks. I usually do it when I’m too lazy to doll myself up.”

“You look equally beautiful either way.”

I couldn’t believe this was the same guy who blatantly asked me for sex four months ago. He was a different person. He wasn’t sleeping around, he was sweet to me, and he didn’t argue with me anymore. He took care of me when no one else did. He always had my best interest at heart. “You’re my best friend.” I didn’t think before I spoke. It just came out.

His eyes softened slightly but he became guarded once again. “You’re my best friend too.”

I played with my hair, feeling nervous. When he looked at me with those gorgeous eyes, I was paralyzed. I couldn’t think and I couldn’t move.

“You changed my life.” His voice was low, almost at a whisper. “I was a very different man when we met. But after I met you, everything changed. I realized I didn’t want to be what I used to be. I didn’t want to be scared anymore. I didn’t want to be a coward.”

Scared of what?

The waitress approached then placed our dishes in front of us. The moment was ruined and the silence descended.

“Parmesan cheese?” the waitress asked. She leaned over, her cleavage exposed. She had blonde hair and blue eyes. Her hair was a curtain of silk, and she smelled like a Victoria’s Secret catalog. I glanced at Ash, wondering if he was gawking at her chest.