There are fewer heroes, fewer stars in family life. While the world may glorify the self, the family asks us, at one time or another, to submerge it. While the world may abandon us, the family promises, at one time or another, to protect us.

So we travel daily, weekly, yearly between one world and another. Between life as a family member that can be nurturing or smothering. Between life as an individual that can free us or flatten us. And family can be a place where the I and the we interact.

I am an orphan

I am an orphan. My father was one of two brothers, sons of a small farmer in Devonshire. The farm was a poor one, and the elder brother, Andrew, emigrated to Australia, where he did very well indeed, and by means of successful speculation in land became a very rich man. The younger brother, Roger (my father), did not like the agricultural life. He managed to educate himself a little and obtained a post as a clerk with a small firm. My mother was the daughter of a poor artist. My father died when I was six years old. When I was fourteen, my mother followed him to the grave. My only living relation then was my Uncle Andrew, who had recently returned from Australia and bought a small place in his native country. He was very kind to his brother's orphan child, took me to live with him, and treated me in every way as though I was his own daughter.

Although kindness itself to me my uncle had certain peculiar and deeply-rooted ideas as to the upbringing of women. Himself a man of little or no education, he placed little value on what he called "Book knowledge".

He was especially opposed to the education of women. In his opinion, girls should learn practical housework, be useful about the home, and have as little to do with book learning as possible. I rebelled frankly. I knew I possessed a good brain, and had absolutely no talent for domestic duties. My uncle and I had many bitter arguments on the subject. I was lucky enough to win a scholarship. I had a little money of my own left to me by my mother, and I was quite determined to make use of the gifts God had given me. I had one long, final argument with my uncle. He put the fads plainly before me. He had no other relation. And he had intended me to be his sole heiress. If I persisted in these notions of mine, however, I need looking for nothing from him. I remained polite, but firm. I should always be deeply attached to him, I told him, but I must lead my own life. I've never regretted my decision.

Love at First Byte

It may not sound the most romantic of beginnings, but more and more couples are meeting and mating via the Net. And, though you can pretend to look like Hugh Grant or Britney Spears – even if nothing could be further from the truth – research proves that people far more honest on-line. One of the main reasons is visual anonymity. Give them a video link – so they can see the other person they are chatting to – and the honesty factor drops considerable. People give out four times as much information if they can’t see the person they are talking to. The main point is that we all live in a society where the first impressions are everything. If you don’t like what you see you won’t even try to get to know someone better. The great thing about meeting people on the Net is that there’s no such thing as “I-am-looking-awfully-today”. True, it may not be romantic, but how many people really meet on the Orient Express on the way to Venice like they do in the movies? It is usually in a noisy bar where he’s trying to hold his stomach in and she’s so nervous about the impression she’s making that the body language, rather than the conversation, becomes the important thing. The reason why chat sites are a good way of meeting people – and an increasingly popular one – is that you have time to think about what you’re going to say. Who hasn’t been out on a first date and nervously blurted something out they’ve regretted? If you have to type it out, you give a more considered answer and therefore a more honest one, which is a better basis for starting a relationship. First you can click into a chat-room and flirt on-line with several others. Just like you might in a bar, yet you’re relaxed in your own home – and nobody can see that spot on your nose. Then you move on to talking to just one selected mate via e-mail. You have time to consider your reply so there’s less scope for misunderstanding. Then it’s talking by telephone and that first date, by which time you’ll know each other pretty well. People like each other more if they are not influenced by looks. It’s feelings that are important and the internet inflates them.

Parenting in Japan

Japan's approach to parenting is radically different from that of the United States. Most Americans value individualism, independence, and initiative and raise their children to be self-reliant. From the Japanese viewpoint, these kinds of attitudes and behaviors are too narrowly goal-oriented. The Japanese value loyalty and proper behavior over personal success. Respect for authority and obedience are taught early in the home, and they are reinforced in nursery school.

Japanese child rearing is based on a concept called amae, which is a sense of complete dependence based on the desire for love and caring. Amae is instilled in Japanese children by their mothers, who give them twenty-four-hour love. Many Japanese mothers typically spend every waking hour with their babies. They often take them into their beds at night, pick them up whenever they cry, and cater to their every whim. Most American parents think this kind of behavior will spoil a child and discourage independence and self-reliance. In contrast, the Japanese feel that keeping children happy will motivate them to be cooperative later in life. Amaе-based care and guidance is continued in the school system, where children are rewarded for cooperative behavior and teamwork. In the business world Japanese team spirit is the foundation of success, and the climb up the corporate ladder is based on how well employees have helped promote the good of the company overall rather than on how well they have performed individually.

Although gender roles are changing in Japan, many families still socialize their children into traditional gender roles. Japanese mothers frequently emphasize the importance of boys being "diligent" and "responsible" workers and girls being "happy homemakers". In addition, although Japanese fathers are often absent from home, the father's authority is frequently reinforced in daily mother-child interaction.

Since provider and father roles are synonymous, Japanese men who might choose to reduce work hours to be at home with their children may be criticized by coworkers or family members.

Some Americans feel that emulating Japanese parenting styles would create greater cooperation between children and less conflict between parents and adolescents. Others feel that loyalty to a company and unquestioned obedience stifle individual self-fulfillment and creativity.

Problems of the Youth

Youth is a very important period in the life of man. This is the time when a person discovers the world and tries to determine the place in the universe. Young people face lots of problems which are very important for them and do not differ much from those that once their parents had to deal with. At the same time every generation is unique. It differs from the one that preceded it in its experience, ideals and a system of values. The adults always say that the young are not what they were. These words are repeated from generation to generation. To some extent they are true, because every new generation grows up quicker, enjoys more freedom. It is better educated and benefits from the results of the technological progress of the time.