know why, but he looked so lonely. I was able to capture that look. It turned out really well, but I never

showed that drawing to him. He wouldn’t have liked to be seen like that.

***

“I guess I win,” I say quietly, without triumph, just matter of fact, as Rizzo casually sits down beside

me on the front steps to the art department.

He doesn’t look at me, but smiles with that unmistakable edge that even a movie star couldn’t easily

copy. “We’ll see.”

“I wish you would just leave it be. But you never will, will you?”

He only grins in response. I look at him, gorgeous as ever in the warm sunlight. Statuesque

perfection. Like he was created by ancient Greek gods for the sole purpose of being admired. I would

still love to paint him some day, how weird is that? And I still get a little nervous when he’s this close to

me. How could you not be? He just has that effect on people. I should hate him for it, but somehow I

don’t. I’m not sure I’ve forgiven him for what he did to me, but then again I’m really not sure there’s

that much to forgive.

“You really like James, don’t you?” I say quietly. “That’s not like you.”

He laughs softly. “Don’t presume you know me, Mills, just because we made out once.”

“No, I wouldn’t know you because of that. You’d make out with anyone if it suited your plans.”

He looks at me with a sly smile, not offended. But his expression changes when I continue. “I know

you because you didn’t hit me that time when I tried to hit you.”

“And what does that tell you about me?”

“A lot.” It makes perfect sense, now that I’ve had time to think about it. “For one thing, you knew

James would never forgive you if you had.”

“Go on, I do enjoy a good amateur psychoanalysis.”

“And it shows just how controlled you are. You never let go, do you? You can’t. You always seem so

laid-back, but you’ve got to be in control, at all times.” I look at him pensively. “No wonder you study

acting. And you are one hell of an actor already.”

He smiles, and the smile seems genuine. He studies me thoughtfully with those amazing dark eyes.

Why does he never do what you expect him to? Shouldn’t he be mad at me for saying that or

something? Maybe he is right and I know nothing about him at all.

I feel self-conscious all of a sudden, and try to hide it behind a half-joking remark. “You could at

least admit defeat, you know.”

Rizzo laughs, and practically radiates that aloof, mysterious confidence of his that makes me feel

like a mere school boy. “Oh, but I’m not defeated, Mills. This little game of ours, it’s only just begun.”

“I hate you,” I sigh.

He grins. “Don’t you wish you would?” He climbs to his feet, and as he stands there in the bright

sunlight, he throws a deep shadow over me.

“See you around, Mills.” Without looking at me, he saunters away, and I stare after him, a strange

chill lingering in the air. I shudder.

Chapter 17

Invincible

JAMES: Well, this is it. The semester is officially over. I don’t know why the end of term always

makes me feel down. Maybe because you can never be sure that when you return in a couple of months

time things will be the same. Campus never changes, but people still do. I have a feeling that this time,

it might be me doing the changing. Tomorrow morning, Casey, Rizzo and I will go our separate ways.

Not for too long in Casey’s and my case. He invited me to come and stay. His family has this awesome

lodge by a small idyllic lake, not far from where he lives. And this year, he promised we would have it

to ourselves. Two weeks of quality time with my Casey to look forward to definitely makes going back

home easier to bear. My Casey. It still feels weird to think about him that way. I can’t get over the fact

how incredibly amazing he is.

I remember talking about this with him a while ago, about people never being able to hold on to

happiness. And I recall him saying something that I thought sounded not like Casey at all at the time.

“Maybe happiness is not really a long-term thing. It’s only moments. And maybe love isn’t about

eternal bliss either. It’s all about finding someone who makes it easy for you to experience and share

those rare moments of happiness. And that’s all there is to it.”

I remember his words so accurately because it surprised me that a hopeless romantic like him should

believe something like that. But I think he was right.

Rizzo is not amused, that much I can tell. It’s hard to think of him as Rizzo now, because the name

just doesn’t seem intimate enough. I tried to call him Danny once, but he just laughed and shook his

handsome head, his brown eyes turning into sparkling gold in the sunlight. “I like the way you say

‘Rizzo’. It’s sexy.”

So Rizzo it is. Maybe he needs that kind of distance. Maybe we both do. I think he has been

avoiding me all week, and who can blame him. I’m always with Casey, and hell, couples that just got

together are always annoying. But sometimes I catch him looking at Casey with the cool interest of a

surgeon contemplating which organs would be most painful to remove. And Casey, on the other side,

can be surprisingly possessive. I just want for them to get along. Because I’m a selfish bastard, and I

want them both in my life. There, I said it. But damn it, it’s the truth. I don’t know how or when Rizzo

became important to me, I just know that he is. It’s like he’s that one piece of the puzzle that doesn’t

quite fit, but you know you need to place it for everything to come together and take shape.

Okay, Foley, let’s make a deal. You will stop thinking about crap like this right now. You will simply

lean back and try to enjoy tonight. And pray that Casey and Rizzo won’t kill each other. Ack. Suddenly

celebrating the end of term together doesn’t seem like such a good idea anymore.

***

We took Rizzo’s car and drove down to that all-year fair by the sea where all the bars and cafes on the

boardwalk have clearly seen better days. There’s a trace of decay in the warm, humid night air, a dusty

melancholy that I like. Always at the peak of summer, you can smell fall blowing in on a lazy breeze,

waiting to paint the leaves rust and gold. I like fall better anyway, because it’s a time of change. Change

is something I can believe in. It’s much harder to believe that things are going to last. Rizzo got a bottle

of cheap red wine from somewhere. It’s really bad and horribly sweet, and we drink from it in turns as

we lean on the balustrade and lazily watch a wild party that’s in full swing on the beach. There is a

young couple in love walking close to the water, and every time the waves crash to the shore the chick

runs away with a shrill giggle you can hear from over here. I smile when she does it again.

Casey moves a little closer to me and puts his hand on my back. His gentle touch heats the spot

where his fingers are lying immediately, but despite it still being unbelievably hot so late this evening

and my T-shirt sticking to my skin already, I can’t say that I mind. Rizzo is on my other side, holding

the bottle of wine in one hand, a smoke in the other, looking unusually pensive as he gazes at the

mysterious dark waters in the distance. The evening has been lovely so far, and both Rizzo and Casey

seem to be willing to bury the hatchet. Well, more or less. I feel exceptionally good tonight, almost

peaceful. Maybe it’s the wine. Maybe it’s the two gorgeous men framing me.

Okay, it’s the one million dollar question, James. If you could have sex with either of them right

now, who would it be? Geez. What is it with sex and heat? I can’t think of a more powerful aphrodisiac.