I’m puzzled by the unexpected question. How am I supposed to answer that? “Well, he’s… I dunno.”

Okay, that was lame. I wince inwardly.

“What? What is he?”

I shrug and longingly glance down at my book. “Interesting?”

“Intriguing. That’s what you really mean.” Casey sounds more thoughtful than hurt.

I’m quick to shake my head. “He’ll never be you.”

Whatever it was, it seems to fall off him like snow falls off the trees in spring, and he leans over to

kiss me.

“I’m sorry, James. I don’t know what’s up with me lately. Maybe I’m stressed out because of that

paper I have due next week.” He throws a dark look into Danny’s direction. “But when he’s around…”

“You have nothing to worry about, okay?”

He draws in a deep breath and sighs. I watch him for a moment, watching Danny, and I wish I could

read his mind. So much has happened between the three of us, and we’re all pretending it hasn’t. I guess

Danny’s not the only actor in our little group. I suddenly ask myself how convincing a performance

Casey and I are giving. I for one am definitely hiding something, but for the first time I wonder, is he

hiding things from me as well?

“But I do worry,” Casey finally replies quietly. “I know Rizzo wants you, and I think he’s used to

getting what he wants. And that should worry both of us.”

He pauses, and looks away. “Remember last semester? Remember how he played us off against each

other? What if it would have worked?”

“He’s not gonna do that anymore.”

Casey sits up straight and crosses his arms in front of his chest. I can feel a brand-new distance

between us that I don’t understand. It almost hurts when he looks at me, his eyes dark with suspicion

and something else that I can’t read. “Isn’t he? I think you’re wrong to trust him.”

“Who says I do?”

He just stares at me, completely serious. “You know you do. But he’s not your friend, James. He’s

nobody’s friend but his own.”

I don’t know why his words upset me, but they do. And I feel the need to defend Danny, although I

know that’ll be a bad mistake. “You don’t know him.”

Casey laughs dryly, and for a second I get a glimpse of how much my liking Danny really gets to

him. He always pretended that he was okay with it, but now I see that I’ve been blind. But just how

blind have I been? And why does it feel like the sting of his jealousy is not directed at Danny, but at me?

What are we really talking about here?

Casey’s words cut through the distance between us like a whip lashing out at me.

“You don’t know him either, James. He’s playing you, just like he did me. And what on earth do you

think you know about him anyway?”

We sit in cold and uncomfortable silence for a long moment. That was harsh. There was no need for

that. But then again, maybe there was. Maybe I deserved it. Am I being loyal to him? Is it enough not to

touch, not to kiss, not to make out with someone else, when I still want them? Just where exactly does

betrayal start? Does it start where I feel like Danny understands me better than Casey ever could? Or

does it already start where I’m priding myself on knowing stuff about Danny Rizzo? Does it start where

I feel like I have a right to know? Does it start where I want to know?

I look over to the other bench where it’s sunny and bright, to the girl whispering something into

Danny’s ear, and then giggling loudly when a sly grin appears on his lips. It’s a good question. What do

I know about Rizzo?

The answer is easy enough, and nevertheless thoroughly devastating.

“Nothing. You’re right. Absolutely nothing.”

* * *

“How’ve you been, Jimmy boy?” Out of nowhere, Danny flops down on the chair next to mine the

next afternoon when I’m finally taking a brief break to eat. Yes, even I have to do that occasionally. He

snags two fries from my plate and I let him, watching as they disappear in his mouth.

I just shrug. I’m not in the best of moods today. And how does he always seem to know when I need

to see him, even before I know myself? Most irritating.

With the large stained-glass windows and the arched ceiling, the cafeteria always reminds me of a

chapel. The beams of light falling inside today are mild. Tiny specks of dust are slow-motion waltzing

in them. Danny’s short hair is shining like a halo around him, and I’m half-waiting for a white dove to

come down from heaven and land on his shoulder.

“You not talking to me today?” he asks with that irresistibly charming smile.

I take a sip of my Evian, trying to buy time before I speak. The truth is that I don’t know what to say.

Casey’s words are spinning in my head again. I’d never even realized how little I know about Danny.

And I wonder what he would tell me if I asked. The truth? Or a polished version of the truth he tells the

adoring public to build the legend of Rizzo? Whoever that is. Am I sitting next to a complete stranger?

“Who are you really?”

I’m aware that that’s not the kind of question to start a cafeteria conversation with, but the words left

my mouth before I could stop myself.

Danny just looks at me for a long moment, and I can almost see the thoughts behind his eyes. His

expression changes from baffled to amused, but then he seems to realize that I’m serious, and his little

smile disappears. And he just looks amazed now; his brown eyes are warm.

“That took a while,” he finally says quietly.

“You mean, people usually ask this earlier on?” Damn that sarcastic voice of mine. Maybe I’m just

surprised that my strange little question seems to actually mean something to him. It does to me, and

that makes me feel awkward and vulnerable. I’m not a big fan of this feeling.

“Nobody’s ever asked me that, James.”

I really do wish he’d stop looking at me. Why didn’t I just keep my mouth shut? Why did I have to

ask? It feels like I’ve foolishly crossed a line that I wasn’t meant to cross. Or maybe I was, and that’s

why I’m freaking. Thoughts are roller-coaster riding in my head. I should just get up and leave right

now. Turn around and never look back, as long as I still can. In my mind’s eye I see that cold, warning

look from yesterday in Casey’s gaze again, sending a shiver down my spine.

Uncomfortably I pick at my food for a bit, then I finally put my fork down and glance at Danny. I

can’t not ask. I’m sorry, Case.

“So what’s your answer?”

Danny holds my eyes and there’s a beautiful open smile on his lips. “You’re welcome to find out any

time.”

His words make my heart beat treacherously fast in my chest. For a moment there seems to be a

silent exchange between us, some kind of deeper understanding. The world around us fades away, the

noise of scraping cutlery on plates and muttered conversations disappears in the background of my

mind. I read another answer in his eyes, and that answer says: You can have everything. You can have all

of me.

Holy shit. What have I begun? How do I get out of this? Do I even want to? What is he trying to tell

me? Am I supposed to break up with Casey? Am I to be with him instead? To have an actual

relationship with Rizzo?

He can’t be serious. I’m reading him wrong. I’m imagining things.

“Are you alright?” he asks warmly, and for a moment it really does feel like an entirely different

person talking to me.

“Sure. I’m fine. I’m great.”

I have read him wrong. I must have. He didn’t actually tell me that he wanted to be with me. All he

did was invite me to get to know him better. And where’s a padded cell when you need it?

Danny nods to my plate with a twinkle in his eyes. “Food’s getting cold.”