“Basically,” Adamek confirms, placingeverything back into the case and locking it.

A buzz of excitement goes through the class.The recruits look at the Iluxor in awe. No one from the territorieshas ever seen technology like this, has ever imagined somethinglike this existed.

“What’s the point of this?” Cato scoffs,unimpressed.

“Soldiers of Mediah normally use the Iluxorto channel their worst memories and, by extension, their biggestfears,” Adamek explains. “It’s widely believed that, by replayingthese memories over and over, you eventually become immune to them.You can theoretically overcome all of your fears, making you abetter warrior, able to fight independently of fear. YourCommanders have asked me to familiarize you with this technique, sothat when the time comes, you will be ready.”

“This is ridiculous,” Cato huffs.

Nazirah agrees. She might expect this ofGloom and Doom, but of her brother? She can’t believe Niko actuallysanctioned Adamek teaching them Medi war techniques! And why? Sothey could become fearless killers in battle? They are alreadywalking the fine line between Medi and rebel.

Nazirah looks apprehensively at the case.She knows exactly what her worst memory is.

“Now,” Adamek says, as though readingNazirah’s mind, “since none of you have ever been exposed tosomething like this before, you won’t see any heavily fear-drivenmemories today. And because this is obviously extremely personal,I’ll be assisting recruits individually.” Adamek lifts up thebriefcase and begins calling them forward alphabetically frommemory. “Adams.”

A scrawny boy to Nazirah’s left gets uphesitantly and follows Adamek out the door. Once they are gone, theclass bursts into intense conversation.

“Can you believe this?” Cato rants. “It’slike the commanders want us to think like the Medis! Aren’t wesupposed to be against their twisted logic?”

“But Cato,” Aneira responds, unusuallypassionate, “how can we expect to fight them, if we don’t know howthey operate? We have to be as strong, as fearless, as they are. Orelse we’ll never win!”

They launch into a heated discussion, whichNazirah immediately tunes out. Talk of bad memories and overcomingfears has led Nazirah to a place she doesn’t want to go, a placeshe’s spent weeks trying to avoid. And now she’s being forcedthere. With Adamek Morgen, yet again, as her teacher.

Cato notices her silence. “How are youhandling this, Irri?”

“I’ll be fine Cato, don’t worry,” Nazirahreassures him. “I can handle myself.” Nazirah smiles encouraginglyat Lumi, but she appears lost in her own thoughts. At least Nazirahisn’t alone in not wanting Adamek to mess with her head.

He returns barely a minute later, alone.“Caal.”

Cato rises from his seat. He gives Nazirah’sshoulder a reassuring squeeze and follows Adamek out the door.Nazirah wonders what his memory will be. Will Cato think about hisfamily? About how he left his little sister and older brotherbehind in Rafu, when they came here to start this new, hopefullynot final, chapter of their lives?

More names are called and Nazirah’sclassmates dwindle. What waits for her in the Iluxor? Nazirah istorn between wanting to see her parents and wanting to see nothingat all. And she isn’t the only one. Most of her remainingclassmates also appear frightened and nervous. Adamek enters theroom after calling Ansel Mays and Nazirah knows she’s next.

“Nation.”

Nazirah is already off her chair. Shefollows him into an empty classroom. Adamek shuts the door behindthem. He motions for her to take a seat in one of the wooden chairsin front. As she sits, Nazirah notices it’s drizzling outside. Thewindow is cracked open and a cool breeze gently blows in. Nazirahshivers lightly. Adamek sits across from her. He has long sleeveson today. Nazirah hasn’t been alone with him since they fought inthe library, since before Lumi’s confession. She stares at thedesk, unbidden thoughts of the two of them together. He takes inher odd behavior, but says nothing.

“How short are these memories?” she asks.“It seems like recruits have been going in and out so quickly.”

He fills up two syringes with serum, each aquarter full. “Time works differently under the Iluxor,” he says.“What feels like hours in your mind can translate as a few minutesin reality. It all depends on the individual, on the memory.”

“Can I choose the memory I want?”

“It’s possible,” Adamek says, “but it’s notsomething you would know how to do yet. Only someone with years ofexperience could lead you through it.”

Adamek reaches into his pocket, takes out anelastic strap. He ties it gently around Nazirah’s upper arm.Nazirah squirms in her seat, cringing as Adamek injects her. Adamekunties the elastic and tosses it onto the table. He thenunceremoniously injects himself with the remaining syringe.

“What are you doing?” she asks warily.

Adamek disposes the used needles in a nearbyclosed container. He grabs the Iluxor from the desk and sets itcarefully in Nazirah’s lap. “A curious girl like you should havefigured this out by now,” he says.

Nazirah is shocked. “You’re going in my headwith me?”

“This isn’t something a beginner doesalone.”

“This isn’t happening!”

Adamek’s eyes sparkle playfully. “Trustme.”

Trust him?

Is he kidding?

“Maybe in your next life,” Nazirah scoffs.But she really just wants to get this over with. She reaches out toplace a hand on the Iluxor, remembering Adamek mentioning somethingabout sensory vibrations. Adamek catches it, stopping her. Nazirahpulls her hand away quickly. “What?” she asks.

“I have to clear it first,” he says. “Orelse it would be Ansel Mays’s memory that we’re seeing. And I’m notinterested in watching him fumble through losing his virginityagain.”

Nazirah flushes, not wanting to see thateither. Adamek touches a small corner of the glass. The Iluxorshines brightly before turning transparent. “It stores memories?”she asks. “That’s such an invasion of privacy.”

“It doesn’t store memories.” He sighs,grabbing her hand and placing it on top of the Iluxor. “It hasvibrational memory, meaning that the last thing it channels is keptat a certain frequency in the machine, until erased. That’s justhow it works.”

“Fine, so it stores a memory,” Nazirahmutters, trying to ignore Adamek’s hand over hers. “It’s still animposition on a person’s most private secrets. Especially withsomeone else watching.”

Adamek places his hand on the surface of theIluxor as well. Nazirah watches, transfixed, as the glass cubeunder their fingers begins filling with glittering white mist.There is an impish spark in his eyes. “Have secrets to hide, dowe?”

Nazirah thinks of Adamek and Lumi, of hisstrange tattoos, of how she still doesn’t know anything about himor his motives. “I’m not the only one.”

He touches the corner of the glass once morewith his free hand. “No,” he says quietly. “You’re not.”

#

The white cliffs of Rafu greet herfirst.

They wave, smiling hello to an old friendthey haven’t seen in months. Nazirah’s hair whips violently aroundher face as her senses imbibe the salty smell of the sea. The airis fat off grass and sunshine, the rays like warm velvet upon herskin. A cliff drops off a few yards ahead. The cerulean and emeraldEridian lagoons glitter below, waiting patiently.

Nazirah wears the same clothes as in class,except now she is barefoot. She can feel the prickly grass underher feet. Adamek stands next to her. Nazirah finds that their handsare intertwined. He stares at their hands and then releases her.“What is it with you and bare feet?” he asks, voice slightlydistorted.

Nazirah looks down, realizing he still hasshoes on. She finds this inappropriately hilarious. Her laughterechoes strangely, like she is at the bottom of a well.

Nazirah hears voices behind her in thedistance and instantly knows what memory this is. She sees aslightly younger version of herself running up the cliff towardsthem, Cato trailing not far behind. Nazirah wants to ask Adamek howshe can see herself, if this is her memory, but she doesn’tquestion the Medi science.