The Doctor and Mrs Wingsworth were just in time to see a beam of blinding light strike the Brilliant and blast it into pieces.

'No!' yelled Martha at the pirate captain. 'You've killed the Doctor!'

'Er,' said the Doctor. 'Actually, she missed.' The badgers wheeled round, astonished at this intrusion. 'Sorry to butt in,' said the Doctor, skipping down the steps to join them in front of the great bay window. He waved at Archibald and Jocelyn and winked at Martha. 'But we saw a light on and thought we'd just pop in. Any danger of a cup of tea? Or some of those cheese and pineapple on sticks?'

'I said!' said Archibald, straining from the badger who held him captive to tell his other former comrades. 'I said they was good!'

'You all right?' the Doctor asked Martha.

'Yeah,' she said. 'Fine. Getting a bit bored of all this, to be honest.'

'Oh dear,' said the Doctor. 'Well, don't worry. Have it all fixed in a jiffy.' He turned to the tall badger captain in the collarless blouse and eyepatch. She was tall for one of the badgers, her high-heeled boots meaning she could look the Doctor straight in the eye. 'Hello there!' he said. 'You must be Captain Florence. Nice to meet—'

Captain Florence roared, and the next thing the Doctor knew he was skidding on his back across the floor, the impression of a hairy fist hot across his face. 'Ow,' he said. Beside him lay another badger pirate, who'd clearly just suffered a similar rebuke from the captain.

'Now really,' muttered Mrs Wingsworth from where she stood by Martha. 'There's no need for that sort of behaviour.'

Captain Florence slapped her hard across the face. Mrs Wingsworth cowered under the blow, her tentacles raised to protect herself from being hit again.

'This ain't fun and games!' the captain roared. She looked up at the badgers who had emerged from the silk hangings so as not to miss seeing the fighting. 'Amelia!' she barked. 'Samuel! Find out how these two got aboard!' Two badger pirates scurried back to their controls.

The Doctor slowly picked himself up off the floor. 'There's really no need to be like this,' he said. 'I just wanted a chat.'

'You got sum'fin to offer us, 'ave ya?' leered Captain Florence.

'A better life than you've got at the moment,' said Mrs Wingsworth.

'With canapés and tea,' added Archibald. He turned to the badgers holding him and Jocelyn prisoner. 'You gotta try 'em,' he said. 'They're good.'

'Er, yeah,' said the Doctor. He stepped up to Captain Florence, though just out of reach of her punching him again. 'I'm disappointed you've not already listened to your friend Archie.'

Archibald bowed his head. 'I tried tellin' 'em,' he said.

'Oh, I'm not blaming you, Archie,' said the Doctor kindly. 'It's just a shame your management aren't open to suggestions. Not looking to new investment opportunities, to expand the business portfolio. Doesn't say much for their long-term prospects, if you ask me.'

Captain Florence pulled the gun from the belt around her waist. The Doctor tutted at her. 'Oh yes,' he said. 'That's the solution to everything, isn't it?'

But the captain didn't shoot him. Instead she shot Mrs Wingsworth. She didn't scream or cry out and, as the pink light ate her up, she kept staring defiantly at the captain. Captain Florence stepped back as the corpse collapsed in front of her. She looked a little shaken.

'Right,' she said, pointing the gun now at Martha.

'Captain!' called one of the badgers from behind the hanging silks. 'Karl and Robbie 'ave got the capsule what them two just arrived in!'

'Good,' said Captain Florence. 'Dump it inna space an' use it for target practice!'

The badgers cheered – target practice was clearly a bit of a treat. The Doctor felt his hearts heave. He couldn't believe their guns could destroy the TARDIS, but he didn't like the idea of her being sent tumbling off through space without him.

'Right,' said Captain Florence. Archie. You better tell us wha's so good 'bout this canner-pea stuff.'

Archibald wrenched free of the badgers holding him captive and came forward. He grinned at the Doctor and Martha, then turned on his heel, his back to Captain Florence. Instead, he addressed his former comrades.

'Yeah,' he said. 'They 'ad this food on the Brillian',' he told them. 'It was small but there was lots. And when you ate it all, then you jus' closed your eyes and there was more. It was good. It was food an' it was good to eat. It had... flavours. Tha's it, really.'

'Very eloquent,' said the Doctor. 'Very stirring. You should go into politics or something.'

'Yeah,' said Archie. He turned round to face Captain Florence and, perhaps because the Doctor and Martha were there, perhaps just because he'd been shown a better life, he didn't look at all fearful of her. 'It's good,' he told her.

'It may be,' she said to him quietly, and it looked like she had really considered what he'd said. 'But there's a problem, in't there?'

Behind her, through the bay window, the tiny shape of the TARDIS tumbled helplessly through space. Beams of blinding white light struck out at it from the pirate ship.

'What problem?' said Archibald.

'We blown up the Brilliant,' said Captain Florence. 'So there ain't no more good food for ya!'

'Oh yeah,' shrugged Archibald. He turned to the Doctor, and looked about to say something. But instead he screamed out as pink light engulfed him.

Captain Florence had shot him in the back.

FIFTEEN

Martha felt numb with horror as Archibald's body collapsed to the floor. She ran to the Doctor, who stretched his arms around her and held her tight.

'It's all right,' he said. 'I promise it's going to be all right.'

'Yeah,' growled Captain Florence savagely. 'But not fer you!'

The Doctor let Martha go and carefully ushered her round so that he stood between her and the captain. Martha glanced round looking for anything that might help them, but their only possible ally, Jocelyn, was being guarded by two other badger pirates.

'Yeah, OK,' the Doctor said to Captain Florence. 'I was just being optimistic. But that's not a bad thing, you know. And anyway. You think we're in trouble. What are your clients gonna do when they find out you blew up the Brilliant?'

Captain Florence laughed. 'We got the experimen'al drive,' she said.

'No,' said the Doctor. 'You've taken the control desk for it. But the drive is a huge great engine at the heart of the ship. Which you've just blown up. Like nicking the remote control, but not the remote-control car. Schoolboy error.'

Martha didn't know if the Doctor was just bluffing – but neither did the badger pirates. The badgers around them, watching from the shadows and from behind the hanging silks, all began to murmur nervously. Captain Florence roared at them. There was a sudden, terrified silence. But Martha could tell that the Doctor had done what he always did, and undermined the tyrant. The badgers who had grown up on this miserable, vicious ship, were now just starting to question if there wasn't more to life.

'The client,' said Captain Florence. 'Said to nick the drive or blow up the ship. An' we done both.'

'Oh yeah,' said the Doctor, loud enough for everyone to hear him. 'I'm sure they'll see it that way. Might even deign to let you live.'

'What?' growled the captain.

'Well, look at it their way,' said the Doctor. 'There's this war coming. They want this experimental drive to use as a secret weapon. And they hire you lot to snatch it.'

'Yeah,' said Captain Florence.

'You're paid for your services. And very well you've gone about providing them. But what happens when you deliver this top secret experimental drive to them? You're then free to go to their rivals and, for a suitable fee, tell them what you stole.'