His mind turned to a dark hole somewhere in the world, not yet filled in. Not such a big hole, but very deep. If I look in that hole and speak loudly enough, would I be able to talk with my father? Will the dead tell me what the truth is?

“If you do that, you’ll never go anywhere,” Kumi Adachi had told him. “Better to think about the future.”

I don’t agree. That’s not all there is to it. Knowing the secret may not take me anywhere, but still, I have to know the reason why it won’t. If I truly understand the reason, maybe I will be able to go somewhere.

Whether you are my real father or not doesn’t matter anymore, Tengo said to the dark hole. Either one is fine with me. Either way, you took a part of me with you to the grave, and I remain here with a part of you. That fact won’t change, whether we are related by blood or not. Enough time has passed for that to be the case, and the world has moved on.

He thought he heard an owl hooting outside, but it was only his ears playing tricks on him.

CHAPTER 25

Ushikawa

COLD OR NOT, GOD IS PRESENT

“You won’t die that easily,” the man’s voice said from behind him. Like he had been reading Ushikawa’s mind. “You just lost consciousness for a moment. Though you were right on the edge of it.”

It was a voice he had never heard before. Neutral, utterly devoid of expression. Not too high or low, neither too hard nor too soft. The kind of voice that announces airplane departures or stock market reports.

What day of the week is it? Ushikawa thought randomly. Must be Monday night. No, technically it might already be Tuesday.

“Ushikawa,” the man said. “You don’t mind if I call you Ushikawa, do you?”

Ushikawa didn’t reply. There was silence for a good twenty seconds. Then, without warning, the man gave him a short, clipped punch to his left kidney. Silent, but a punch with force behind it. Excruciating pain shot through his whole body. All his internal organs clenched, and until the pain had subsided a little he couldn’t breathe. Finally he was able to get out a dry wheeze.

“I asked you politely, and I expect a reply. If you still can’t talk, then just nod or shake your head. That’s enough. That’s what it means to be polite,” the man said. “It’s okay to call you Ushikawa?”

Ushikawa nodded several times.

“Ushikawa. An easy name to remember. I went through the wallet in your trousers. Your driver’s license and business cards were in there. Full-time Director, New Japan Foundation for the Advancement of Scholarship and the Arts. A pretty fancy title, wouldn’t you say? What would a Full-time Director of the New Japan Foundation for the Advancement of Scholarship and the Arts be doing shooting photos with a hidden camera in a place like this?”

Ushikawa was silent. He still couldn’t get the words out easily.

“You had best reply,” the man said. “Consider this a warning. If your kidney bursts, it’ll hurt like hell the rest of your life.”

“I’m doing surveillance on the residents,” Ushikawa finally managed to say. His voice was unsteady, cracking in spots. To him, blindfolded, it didn’t sound like his own.

“You mean Tengo Kawana.”

Ushikawa nodded.

“The Tengo Kawana who ghostwrote Air Chrysalis.”

Ushikawa nodded again and then had a fit of coughing. The man knew all this already.

“Who hired you to do this?” the man asked.

“Sakigake.”

“That much I could figure out, Ushikawa,” the man said. “The question is why, at this late date, Sakigake would want to keep watch over Tengo Kawana’s movements. Tengo Kawana can’t be that important to them.”

Ushikawa’s mind raced, trying to figure out who this man was and how much he knew. He didn’t know who the man was, but it was clear Sakigake hadn’t sent him. Whether that was good news or bad, Ushikawa didn’t know.

“There is a question pending,” the man said. He pressed a finger against Ushikawa’s left kidney. Very hard.

“There’s a woman he’s connected with,” Ushikawa groaned.

“Does this woman have a name?”

“Aomame.”

“Why are they pursuing Aomame?” the man asked.

“She brought harm to Leader, the head of Sakigake.”

“Brought harm,” the man said, as if verifying the phrase. “You mean she killed him, right? To put it more simply.”

“That’s right,” Ushikawa said. He knew he couldn’t hide anything from this man. Sooner or later he would have to talk.

“It’s a secret within the religion.”

“How many people in Sakigake know this secret?”

“A handful.”

“Including you.”

Ushikawa nodded.

“So you must occupy a very high position.”

“No,” Ushikawa said, and shook his head, his bruised kidney aching. “I’m simply a messenger. I just happened to find out about it.”

“In the wrong place at the wrong time. Is that what you’re saying?”

“I think so.”

“By the way, Ushikawa, are you working alone?”

Ushikawa nodded.

“I find that strange. Normally a team would conduct surveillance. To do a decent job of it, you would also need someone to run supplies, so three people at the minimum. And you’re already deeply connected with an organization. Doing it all alone strikes me as unnatural. In other words, I’m not exactly pleased with your reply.”

“I am not a follower of the religion,” Ushikawa said. His breathing had calmed down and he was finally able to speak close to normally. “I was hired by them. They call on me when they think it’s more convenient to hire an outsider.”

“As a Full-time Director of the New Japan Foundation for the Advancement of Scholarship and the Arts?”

“That’s just a front. There’s no such organization. It was mainly set up by Sakigake for tax purposes. I’m an individual contractor, with no ties to the religion. I just work for them.”

“A mercenary of sorts.”

“No, not a mercenary. I’m collecting information at their request. If anything rough needs to get done, it’s handled by other people.”

“So, Ushikawa, you were instructed by Sakigake to do surveillance here on Tengo, and probe into his connection with Aomame.”

“Correct.”

“No,” the man said. “That’s the wrong answer. If Sakigake knew for a fact that there’s a connection between Aomame and Tengo Kawana, they wouldn’t have sent you by yourself on the stakeout. They would have put together a team of their own people. That would reduce the chance for mistakes, and they could resort to force if need be.”

“I’m telling you the truth. I’m just doing what the people above me told me to do. Why they’re having me do it alone, I have no idea.” The pitch of Ushikawa’s voice was still unsteady, and it cracked in places.

If he finds out that Sakigake doesn’t yet know the connection between Aomame and Tengo, Ushikawa thought, I might be whacked right here and now. If I’m no longer in the picture, then nobody will be any the wiser about their connection.

“I’m not very fond of incorrect answers,” the man said in a chilly tone. “I think you of all people are well aware of that. I wouldn’t mind giving your kidney another punch, but if I hit you hard my hand will hurt, and permanently damaging your kidney isn’t what I came here to do. I have no personal animosity toward you. I have just one goal, to get the right answer. So I’m going to try a different approach. I’m sending you to the bottom of the sea.”

The bottom of the sea? Ushikawa thought. What is this guy talking about?

The man pulled something out of his pocket. There was a rustling sound like plastic rubbing together, and then something covered Ushikawa’s head. A plastic bag, the thick freezer bag kind. Then a thick, large rubber band was wrapped around his neck. This guy is trying to suffocate me, Ushikawa realized. He tried breathing in but got a mouthful of plastic instead. His nostrils were blocked as well. His lungs were screaming for air, but there wasn’t any. The plastic molded tight to his whole face like a death mask. Soon all his muscles started to convulse violently. He tried to reach out to rip away the bag, but his hands wouldn’t move. They were tied tight behind his back. His brain blew up like a balloon and felt ready to explode. He tried to scream. He had to get air. But no sound came out. His tongue filled his mouth as his consciousness drained away.