But one problem at a time.

God, it’s like time has stood still tonight, but eventually, ages and ages, it might even be hours later, I finally do nab Sam and elbow him up against a bookcase. ‘I have to talk to you,’ I say, as calmly and as firmly as I can. ‘Now. I’ve been trying to get your attention all evening and I’m sorry but this won’t wait any longer.’

‘It’ll have to, Woodsie, some of the gang from The Apprenticeare here and I need to schmooze them. Oil them up a bit, you know how it is.’

Oh sod this. I’ll never get him alone, so I may as well just say it straight out. ‘Sam, I’m sorry to do this to you, on this of all nights too. But I can’t do this. I can’t just slot back into the role of your girlfriend again. Because it’s not what I want. I thought it was, but it isn’t, not at all. And what’s worse is…I don’t even believe you really want me back either. You just…you like being surrounded by winners, that’s all.’

Now he’s looking at me furiously. ‘Jesus, Woodsie, you really pick your moments, don’t you? Can’t we just enjoy the party and discuss this later on? Look, Nathaniel and Eva are over there and you haven’t even said hello to them yet.’

‘What you have to understand, Sam, is that I’m human. I made a mistake and you froze me out because of it. But suppose I make another one down the line? What then? I can’t be your perfect girlfriend any more. Because I’m far from perfect. I just want to be me.’

Great speech. Shame Sam whipped out his mobile and answered a call on it before I’d even finished. Well, I said what I came to say and that’s it as far as I’m concerned. With a smile and a simple, ‘Goodbye Sam,’ I leave him to it and walk, or rather, hobble on the shoes upstairs to find my family.

I’ve absolutely done the right thing. I’m certain of it, because for the first time all evening, I feel like I can breathe again. It’s like a weight has been lifted from me. I inch my way up the packed stairs and from below, Eva shouts up to me, from the centre of a gang of girls all crowded around her. ‘Jessie! Jessie, come down here! I want to congratulate you!’

I just wave back and keep on moving. Time to leave the past firmly where it belongs, Nathaniel and Eva included.

I was right. In the upstairs bar, I find Sharon and Maggie at the food buffet piling up their plates, meanwhile Joan and Jimmy are sitting at a table right behind us, bending the ear off some guy who’s sitting in between them.

‘Where have you been all night?’ Sharon and Maggie say to me, almost in unison. ‘We were all looking everywhere for you.’

‘Downstairs, breaking up with Sam. Sharon, I need to apologise to you,’ I blurt out.

‘Oh for feck’s sake, Jess, there’s no need.’

‘There is need. Because you were right about Sam. Everything you said was completely right. But I want you to know that I’ve just told him that I don’t want to get back with him. Not now and not ever.’

‘Jeez, how did he take it?’

‘Doubt he even noticed, he was on the phone.’

Then Maggie snorts laughing, ‘I am so putting that in my act,’ she grins, tucking into a plate of quail’s eggs.

‘And another thing,’ I say, now that I’m on a bit of a roll, ‘I’m sorry for telling you about Steve and what he said to me last night. Because he’s a good guy, Sharon, and if he’s the man for you, then I’d be the last person to stand in your way.’

‘He’s not, as it turns out,’ she says, but she’s smiling as she says it.

‘What?’

‘He’s not. The whole way here on his bike, all he could talk about was you. And even since we’ve been here, he’s been constantly looking around for you, but sure it’s impossible to find anyone in this throng. Steve is knickers mad about you, Jessie, and I think you should go for it.’

‘Really?’ I ask, touched at her unselfishness.

‘Really. And hey, if I don’t get lucky with some billionaire here tonight, then I can always go back to Matt again, can’t I? Funny, but now the aul’ eejit is gone, I kinda miss him hanging out of me the whole time.’

I hug her and then suddenly the two of us are laughing.

‘I knew it! I knew you weren’t ready to let him go!’

‘So,’ says Maggie. ‘If you’re not with Donald Shagging Trump any more, then I suggest we eat all his food, drink all his drink, I’ll do my act and then we can all get the feck out of here.’

‘Best idea I’ve heard all day,’ I smile back.

‘Unless you’d like me to sort him out for you, that is, Jessie. ’Cos I will if you want me to. I reckon I’ve about two stone on him.’

My God, you should just see us. Joking and giggling together. We’re like three sisters. Propersisters.

‘No need,’ I grin at Maggie, ‘but thanks for the offer all the same.’

Next thing, Joan is over to us. ‘Wonderful news, girls! In a million years, you’d never guess what, so don’t even try!’

The three of us just look at her blankly.

‘Don’t look now,’ she says, dropping her voice, ‘but that man sitting beside Jimmy is an entrepreneur and thinks our IPrayForYou.com idea is the canniest thing he’s ever heard. Says he may even invest in it! And he’s not even drunk! What do you say to that then? Your old ma’s going to be rich!’

We all congratulate her and she beams as proudly as if she’s already been handed a businesswoman of the year award. Then, out of nowhere, something strikes me. ‘What time is it?’

‘Five to midnight.’

‘Already? Oh, shit, shit, shit, I’ve got to go.’

‘But you can’t go!’ says Sharon. ‘There are drinks present. The best kind too; free drinks.’

‘I have to…I’ve a show!’

I race out of the bar and am just winding my way down the packed staircase heading for the main door, when next thing, the crystal sandals, that have been crucifying my feet all night, finally get too much for me and I stumble over. To be caught a split second later by Steve.

‘Hey, I’ve been looking everywhere for you,’ he says simply.

‘I’ve been looking for you too. Can you give me a lift to Radio Dublin?’

‘Oh come on, you can’t do a show tonight! I’ve already called Ian and told him to put out a “Best of” tape. Stay. Enjoy your night. It’s cool.’

‘Steve, seeing you right now has been the best part of the night.’

Suddenly, he lights up. ‘You mean that?’

And I tell him everything. That I’ve broken up with Sam once and for all, and that he was right about everything. About the real reason why Sam wanted me back, about everything. We’ve finally made our way outside onto the street now, and it’s cool and deserted and for the first time all night, I finally feel calm and at peace.

‘So…’ he says, turning towards me and looking down from his ridiculous height. ‘Would this have anything to do with what I said to you last night?’

‘Steve, it has everything to do with what you said last night.’

I look back up at him, yearning for him to kiss me properly. His lips on mine would explain what’s going on inside me so much better than anything. But he’s staring down at me instead. Taking all of me in, for what feels like an eternity; my eyes, hair, clothes, legs…my whole body. And I’ve never felt so desired in my entire life. Next thing, his arms are tight around my waist and his touch is like a bolt of electricity. Every nerve-ending in me is humming and singing and there’s a watery looseness in my knees as he bends down closer and closer to me. And then his mouth is on mine, warm and velvety and very, very, sexy. Now all the intensity has moved from his eyes to his mouth as we kiss furiously, passionately.

‘Let’s go, baby,’ he groans, breaking away gently.

‘No, don’t stop,’ I whisper, my knees rag-doll limp. ‘Not now.’

‘Hey, I’m not stopping anything. I’m taking you home with me. And if you think I’m ever letting you go, then, Jessie Woods, you’ve another think coming.’

I look at him, drugged with pleasure, and in that exact moment, I know I’m lost. I’m his and no one else’s.