probably be happy.”

I end the conversation there because I know it’s bothering

him. Setting the few bags of clothes on the ground, I lower myself

down to sit in the sand and I bend my knees up and rest my arms

on top of them. Luke plops down too and we just sit there, letting

the silence wash away the pain like the water does to the sand.

I’d probably have stayed that way if my phone didn’t start

beeping. I move my arms off my knees and take my phone out of

my pocket.

Callie: Where r u?

Me: We r at the beach. Where r u guys?

Callie: At the shopping center looking for you guys.

Me: Go to the end of the street and head toward the

beach. We r right there on the first opening.

Callie: OK

I put my phone away and rest back on my hands. “They’re

headed over here.”

Luke bobs his head up and down as he stares off at the

horizon. “What are we going to do tonight? I don’t want to just sit

around and do nothing. I came here to do… something.”

“I think I’ll just stay in.” I stretch out my legs. “I don’t feel like going out.”

He mulls over what I said with his brown eyes squinty against

the light. “Look,” he says. “I know you’ve been through a lot, but…

but I think the last thing you need is to sit around and think about

it.”

“We don’t have to go out.” Callie’s voice floats over my

shoulder and my body immediately goes as rigid as a board as

emotions rush through me.

I turn my head and look at her. The sun is shining in her big

blue eyes that are shielded by her long lashes. Her hair is pulled up and her skin glistens from the heat. She has a bag in her hand and

a skeptical look on her face. Seth’s next to her, carrying an

extensive amount of brown paper bags with a purple flower logo

on them. He’s staring at the ocean with a puzzled look on his face.

I stand to my feet. “What did you get?” I nod toward the bag

and force a smile to my lips. “Anything good?”

Her brow puckers as she glances down at the bag in her

hand and then back at me. “I don’t know.”

The way she says it, with such perplexity, makes me wonder

what’s in the bag. I start to reach for it to tease her. “Can I see?”

She shakes her head quickly and moves her hand around to

her back, her cheeks turning a little pink. “No way.”

Okay, now I’m even more curious. I look at Seth for an

explanation but he just shrugs nonchalantly. “Callie’s just being

Callie.”

I’m not sure what that means because Callie being Callie

means her being sweet and adorable, but she’s acting offish and

twitchy. “Okay… do you guys want to go get something to eat?”

Callie nods and I can’t help but think about how she told me

she makes herself throw up. I’m not sure what to do with this or if

there’s anything I can do. I understand bad habits and how they

own you.

Luke grumbles something as he pushes up to his feet and

brushes the sand off his jeans. “No sushi or crab or anything

seafood related.”

A smile forms at my lips. “I think we established the first time

the four of us went out that none of us like seafood.”

Seth raises his hand above his head and then points a finger

down at himself. “Um, hello. I’m pretty sure I said that I love sushi.”

“You did,” Callie tells him and then peeks through her

eyelashes at me. “It was Kayden and me who said we didn’t.”

“It seems like forever ago,” I mumble as my mind travels

back through time, back to when I was first met her, back when

everything was nothing. God, she’s incredibly gorgeous in more

ways than most people will ever know. As stupid and as cheesy as

it may sound, she’ll perpetually own my fucking soul—or the

pieces of it that are left, anyway.

I don’t know how she does it. How I can be feeling so shitty

one minute, and then she smiles and for a second the pain is gone.

I can’t take this anymore. I need her like I had her before. I

need her right fucking now before I lose it.

I grab her hand, surprising her, and lead her with me as I

stride across the beach toward the street, because at the moment I

don’t give a shit about anything but touching her. Her shoes

shuffle against the sand as she hurries along with me. I search for a place out of the way, because what I want to do can’t be done in

public. I spot a gap in between two small shops, one an alarming

yellow and the other a clear blue, like the sun and the sky. They are shaded by slanted roofs that nearly connect over a narrow alley.

“Kayden, what are you doing?” Callie stammers as she trips

over her feet, struggling to keep up with me.

I shake my head as I push through a group of people and

head down the trail toward the shoreline. “Just hang on.”

I cross the street and then when I reach the front of the

yellow store, I round to the side and tuck us between it and the

building next to it. There’s a large Dumpster near the back end and

a pile of crates at the other. It’s not the perfect place, but

perfection is overrated.

“Are you okay?” she asks, breathless as I slow us down.

I take a breath and face her. I don’t give her, or myself, time

to react as I wind my hand around her waist and press her small

body into mine. She gasps as I attach my lips to hers, knowing I’ll

probably regret it later when I’m by myself. But I need her now.

When our mouths unite, I can finally breathe again. It’s like

I’ve been drowning for the last month, only coming up for air

when my lungs are about to burst. But her kiss has brought me to

the surface.

“Kayden,” she murmurs as she grips handfuls of my shirt. “Oh

my God.”

I slip my tongue inside her mouth and she opens her lips to

let me in deeply. I devour her, realizing how starved I’ve felt over

the past month. I press her closer as I back us into the wall, our

legs tangling as we fight to keep our balance. Her bag falls from

her hand and my hand comes down on the side of the building.

The wood scratches at my palms and I savor the small abrasions.

But the most pain comes from my heart rupturing open from

kissing her.

She lets out a quiet moan as my hand slides up her back and

to her neck. The sound nearly drives me mad. The small kiss heats

like a flame and my heart comes to life again. She opens her