am. I exist only in this moment and every other moment in my life

is dead. My nails dig into his shoulder blades as I feel myself rising toward the stars outside the window and seconds later I fall back

to earth. Panting loudly, I stretch my fingers out as he stills.

Then he’s sitting up and grabbing my arm. Moving off the

bed, he pulls me up so I’m sitting on the edge of the bed and he’s

standing in front of me. He reaches for the bottom of my dress,

and with one swift movement, he pulls it over my head. My heart

jumps inside my chest as my hair falls to my shoulders. He leans

over me and his hand slides up my back to the clasp of my bra. My

chest rises and falls as he flicks the clasp open and my bra falls off my shoulders. I’m choking up again, but whisper at my heart to

calm down as I reach for his shirt. His breathing becomes unsteady

as I slip my hand up his chest and bring my body up, so I’m

standing in front of him and his shirt is pulled up. One of my hands

rests above his heart, beating unsteadily against my palm.

I swallow hard as I take in the scar on his side, still healing,

and I trace a path around it. Tears sting my eyes as I think about

how it got there, what he went through, what he must be going

through.

“Callie…” Kayden says and he hooks a finger under my chin

so I’ll look up at him. He lowers his hand and his fingers circle my

wrist. Bringing my hand up to his lips, he kisses the inside of my

wrist and I shudder from the delicate touch of his breath. “I’m

okay.”

No, you’re not. I want to say. Your father stabbed you and

you took the full weight of it. You can’t be okay.

He lets go of my hand and reaches behind his neck. With a

soft tug, he slips his shirt off the rest of the way and drops it onto the floor beside my dress and bra. His hair is sticking up and his

lips are red from kissing me so roughly. My gaze moves from his

face to the scars. Most of them are small, but some aren’t. The

largest one tracks up his chest and looks coarse.

“I fell on a rake when my father hit me,” he explains in a

solemn voice, like it means nothing. Like it’s something that just

happens and he’s moved on and forgotten it.

I want to cry for him. I trace my finger up the scar, feeling the

bumps and imagining how painful it must have been. “Kayden, I—”

He silences me with his lips as he falls down on me and lays

us back onto the bed. After his tongue searches every inch of my

mouth, he pulls away again. “I know you want me to talk about it

with you—and I will—but right now this is what I want.” He

sketches his finger down my cheekbone and my eyelids flutter

shut. “You’re all I want for a minute.”

His touch is driving my body crazy in ways I didn’t even know

were possible. I nod my head, wanting him to have me for a

minute. There’s a faint smile at his lips as he kisses my cheek and

then he lifts his hips off me. He slips his jeans off and then his

boxers before sliding my panties down my legs and pulling them

off too. He grabs a condom from his wallet before tossing his jeans

aside, and then he stills over me with his arms resting at the side of my head as he looks me in the eyes.

“You know, if you ever need anything from me—whether it’s

to stop or slow down or simply talk, I’m here,” he says, trying to

calm my nerves, which are a mess, even though I’ve done this with

him before.

“I know.” I inhale and exhale and I almost tell him I love him

right there and then, because holding it in is nearly excruciating.

I don’t though and then he’s kissing me and sliding inside

me. It doesn’t hurt as bad as the first time we had sex and my legs

more willingly open up to him as he rocks inside me. I fasten my

hands around his back and hold onto him as my body drifts to that

place again, the one where I’m free, the one where he and I only

belong together.

I begin to sweat and the muscles of his arms and chest flex

as he speeds up his movements. All thoughts leave my head. I wish

I could grasp onto this moment, hold it in my hand and keep it

with me forever, because then my life would be complete,

breathless, real.

It would be perfect.

Kayden

I don’t have control when it comes to her. I’m quickly

learning this. Whenever she looks at me, I swear she steals another

piece of my soul. Unlike most people, she doesn’t care if it’s

damaged. And once we kiss, I’m gone. The broken, soulless, empty

Kayden who’s existed since the first time his father beat him no

longer lives. She owns me and I want nothing more than to be with

her.

I pick her up and carry her into the bedroom, because what I

want to do to her can’t be done on the beach without things

getting messy. I kiss her for as long as I can, rubbing up against

her and then watch in fascination as she breaks apart. I need more,

so I stand up and bring her up with me, undressing her. Then she

reaches to undress me and I can tell she’s looking at the scars and

thinking about what put them there. When I take my shirt off, her

gaze goes to the largest one right up the center of my chest.

“I fell on a rake when my father hit me,” I tell her and I don’t

even know why. I hate talking about it, but suddenly I want her to

know because it’ll make me feel better and the weight on my

shoulders will be a little less heavy.

She looks like she’s about to say something that might ruin

the moment, so I crash my lips against hers and steal both our

breaths and voices. I fall onto her, holding my weight, noting how

small and helpless she is underneath me.

I finish taking off the rest of our clothes and then she’s lying

underneath me, looking about as terrified as I feel, her eyes

massive and I sense a small tremble of her body every time she

breathes.

“You know, if you ever need anything from me—whether it’s

to stop or slow down or simply talk, I’m here,” I say, trying to calm her nerves. And it’s true. I’d stop if she asked me to. I’d do

anything for her.

She doesn’t say anything and I slide inside her, feeling her

warmth and wishing I could just stay there and just feel her. It’s

calming, terrifying, perfect—it’s so many God damn things I don’t

let myself feel except when I’m with her, and when I’m with her,

feeling things isn’t as hard.

I rest my arms by the side of her head and rock inside her.

Her legs fall open and her hands tighten around me as I press

deeper into her, knowing that nothing else will ever compare to

this. I thrust inside her, watching in awe as her eyes glaze over and her head tips back. Her body starts to arch against mine and we

collide into each other as I drive her further. She bites down on her bottom lip and her neck bows forward as her fingernails pierce my