skin. I hate how fucking much I like it, but I can’t help it. Even with her beneath me, it’s still there, hiding inside me, the desire for pain instead of feelings.
“Kayden,” she moans and loses herself in my movements.
She holds onto me, our skin damp, our breathing fitful as I
still myself inside her. My head is tipped down and her breath is
hitting my cheek as her fingers draw up and down my back. When
I get control of myself again, I kiss her cheek and then start to pull back, but she tightens her legs around my waist and holds me in
place, refusing to let me slip out of her.
I lean back and look her in the eyes, searching for what’s
wrong. “Are you okay?”
She nods, with a funny look on her face. “I’m just not ready
to let you go yet.”
A smile reveals at my lips. And it’s genuine and not for show
like most of my smiles are. I kiss her deeply with every ounce of
passion I have in me. “Give me a few minutes,” I say and turn my
hips to the side. “And I’ll be back in the game.”
This time she releases me and I lie on my back, with my arm
behind my head as I stare up at the ceiling. I’m very aware of my
scars at the moment and how each one feels smaller somehow. I’m
starting to realize something… something I’m not sure I want to
realize. She makes me feel better and I wonder if that means I’m
supposed to be with her. I don’t want it to mean that, though. I
want her to be unrestricted.
Pulling the sheet over her, she rotates onto her hip and
brushes my hair out of my face. “What are you thinking about?”
she asks, grazing a finger between my brows and erasing the worry
line.
I tip my head to the side and meet her gaze. “You really want
to know?”
She nods her head, lowering her hand to her hip, and my
eyes trace her thin figure. “I always do.”
I pivot to the side so we’re lying face to face. “I’m thinking
that you should leave me.”
Her breathing becomes ragged. “You want me to go?”
I quickly place a hand on her hip. “Don’t think for a second
that I want you to go. I never want you to go. I want you here.
With me… but I don’t want you to be with me. I want you to be
happy, if that makes any sense.”
She considers what I said, biting on her bottom lip, and all I
want to do is lean forward and bite it too, but it would defeat my
whole purpose of trying to let her go. “I get what you’re saying,”
she says. “But I don’t agree with it. You’re the only person…” Her
bottom lip shakes as she takes a deep breath. “You’re the only
person who I can ever feel whole with.”
“You don’t know that.” I keep trying to push her away. “There
could easily be other people out there.”
She shakes her head. “There’s not… a-and I don’t want there
to be.”
“Callie,” I say softly and place my hand under her cheek,
rubbing a finger across her birthmark on her temple. “I’m not good
for you. You deserve better.” It gashes deep inside my chest to say
the truth aloud. But it needs to be said.
“There’s nothing better,” she utters quietly, staring at the
foot of the bed, blinking back the tears. “You just need to realize
that.”
“I just want you to be free… from all my shit and my fucking
complicated life.”
“I don’t want to be free. I just want to be here. With you. I-I
don’t care about your fucking complicated life or your problems. I
just want you… and I want you to be happy. You deserve to be.”
Fuck. No one’s ever said that to me. I don’t even know if I’m
certain what happiness is. I can’t control myself anymore. Each one
of my scars is throbbing and I need her to silence them. I lean in
and grab the back of her head, bringing her lips to mine, and kiss
her with so much intensity it rips my scars in half. I flip us over,
pressing her down on her back as I run my hand down to her
breast. She trembles as she moves her legs up so I fall down
between her. I kiss her fervently, nipping at her lip as I touch her
everywhere. When I finally pull away, I can barely breathe as I trail kisses down her jawline, her neck, her collarbone. I graze my teeth
along her neck and suck on her soft skin as her legs latch around
my waist. My head journeys down farther and her hips writhe up as
I trace a circle around her nipple before sucking it into my mouth.
She lets out a sexy whimper as her fingers tangle through my hair.
I suck hard, needing more of her, before I travel to her other
breast. I caress my tongue along that one too, until I can’t stand it anymore.
I push back and grab another condom. Seconds later, I’m
back inside her, wishing things would stay this way forever. Just
she and I without the sounds and heaviness of the world. Without
the fucking complications of life.
Chapter 14
#10 Face the truth and let it go
Callie
We make love countless times throughout the night and
then finally I slip Kayden’s shirt on and he puts his boxers back on.
Then we lie down in the bed and rest. Somewhere well into the
early hours of morning Luke and Seth stumble into the house,
drunk off their asses and making a lot of noise. Seconds later, Seth
starts jiggling the doorknob and shaking the door.
“Oh Callie Lawrence, let me in,” he says, banging on the
door.
Then I hear Luke say, “Not by the hair on my chinny chin
chin.”
This is followed by a lot of laughter and then the sound of a
glass breaking.
I glance up at Kayden, who has his arm around me and is
playing with my hair. He smiles down at me as I rest my face on his
chest.
“They’re wasted,” he says. “And I’m guessing that Luke
probably dropped a bottle on the floor in classic Luke style.”
“Does he do that a lot?”
“In the past, yeah. It’s like he forgets how to use his hands or
something.”
I laugh against his chest and he kisses the top of my head.
“Should I let him in?” I ask.
“Nah,” Kayden replies. “Let them stay out there and annoy
the shit out of each other.”
I laugh as Seth continues to bang on the door. He does it for
quite a while before he gives up and the house gets quiet. Even
though the last few hours have been amazing, I still have a ton of
questions on the tip of my tongue, but I’m worried about the
consequences if I ask them.
“Tell me what you’re thinking about?” He repeats my early